Shot in the Dark

Not In My Zip Code

“Affordable Housing” and “Diversity” are big chanting points of blue-state liberals.

Provided that the affordable housing, and the diverse people who pay for it, aren’t actually anywhere near you.

Upper West Side Manhattanites recoil at people living in RVs among them:

Farther uptown, on Central Park West — where the neighborhood’s most expensive rental, a town house with a pool, fetches a cool $75,000 a month — stands a 19-foot, 1975 Dodge Sportsman with gold rims and two cameras affixed to its exterior.

“It looks like it would fit more in the mountains of West Virginia than on the Upper West Side,” said area resident Ron Hoffman.

The Dodge owner, who only gave his name as Robert, refused to answer any questions.

Neighbors are puzzled by the RV’s windows, which are covered by gold curtains.

“He once told me he just uses it to store things — but if that’s the case, why would you have everything blacked out so you can’t see the person inside!” said longtime resident Bill Smith.

“I don’t think it should be here,” added Mario Parisi, 86. “We’re all waiting to park. Sitting there all the time is not a good idea — it’s a monster.”

Diversity is a wonderful thing.

Just not near us.

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Mitch Berg

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3 responses to “Not In My Zip Code”

  1. Chuck Avatar
    Chuck

    Well, I understand were they are coming from. I have the same problem. There are 2 Toyota Prius’ parked in my neighborhood. Do you think I like having to see that every day? I mean, they look like they would fit more in Highland Park of St Paul, or Madison Wisconsin. One even has extremist bumper stickers on it like that gay equals sign.

  2. Loren Avatar
    Loren

    Hey Chuck, what did I in Highland Park ever do to you? Keep your Prius’ on your own side of the river!

  3. Joe Avatar
    Joe

    I’d hate to have it parked full-time across from my place too.

    One of the “un-affordable” California beach cities has been experiencing this on a larger scale. One of their judges has found in favor of nomads who permanently park their run-down mobile home/campers on residential streets near the beaches. Aside from appearances, many of the vehicles do not have functional plumbing, so the occupiers use surrounding streets and yards for the purpose. Same with trash removal.

    Many twin cities metro-area suburbs discourage such things with parking ordinances that prohibit on-street parking during the early AM hours.

    I hate to fall into the eat the rich, wealth bashing that I accuse the left of. However, I do find the thought of a “hobo jungle” or mobile junk yard set up across from the Kennedy compound amusing. Fat chance of that, though. East Coast judges do know their betters …

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