Pro And Con: Twin Cities Summer

Subject:  Summer in the Twin Cities.

Pro:  Hot weather brings out women in sundresses.

Con:  Hot weather brings out women in sundresses with so many tattoos they look like tooled saddles that got thrown through a set of Walmart drapes.

Tattoos are like graffiti; a little, cleverly done, in the right place, can be interesting and evocative and even a little artistic.  Otherwise, it’s just vandalism, and ugly, and it dominates the space; whatever the intent, neither graffiti nor tattoos ever look like much of anything, at best, to anyone else.

Verdict:  TBD.

24 thoughts on “Pro And Con: Twin Cities Summer

  1. Plus at work, there’s a lurking Sexual Harassment component: commenting on a woman’s tattoos is like commenting on her dress or earrings or makeup – noticing her fashion choices is sexist, patriarchal, belittling, demeaning and a violation of company policy.

    Well, maybe it is. Like all fashion choices, it depends on who notices. The fact she spent a fortune and endured hours getting the tattoos doesn’t mean she wants ugly guys to notice them. Hot guys, sure; ugly guys, no. Attention from hot guys is welcome attention; attention from ugly guys is unwelcome attention.

    As an ugly guy, I resent systematic discrimination in the workplace. And keep my mouth shut.

  2. More than once I have said, upon seeing a heavily tattooed lady, “huh, I didn’t know the methwhore look was in”.

  3. With a few notable exceptions, seems to me Northern women that cover themselves with tattoos are trying to cover up 100 lbs of blubber. It’s usually accented with nose rings and purple hair, or no hair. They have names like Juedy, Crystal and Cloe.

    Down here, they tend to be toothless, skinny women named Screech, Wanda or if neck tattoos are involved, Lashonda, dragging around a troupe of children of varying hues and ages through the WalMart parking lot while the baby daddy in favor at the time burns heaters in the passenger seat of a beat up 1996 Chevy Corsica.

    Kat Von D they ain’t.

  4. After a couple of decades, most tattoos definitely fall into the “Walmart drapes” category. Wrinkles, weight gain, and the like do not do nice things to them. Can’t even think of too many tattoos on the young that look good.

  5. In the 80’s when I was a teenager working in my first job at a grocery store, some of my co-workers were men in their 50’s & 60’s who had served in WWII, Korea and for the majority, in peacetime. A few had tattoo’s – mostly a Navy cross or a Marine globe & anchor or maybe an eagle. Most the tattoos were affected by, as BB notes above by wrinkles, weight gain, too much time in sun, etc. To a man they advised me that getting a tattoo was the worst decision of their lives.
    That said, it seems to me that is I were 20 something today, I’d probably have a tattoo. Where 20 somethings in my day wore alligator logo shirts with the collar upturned or 20 somethings in the late 50’s wore their hair greased back in a ducktail, young people want to be outsiders yet within the group. Hey, if it gets people of the opposite se… er, uh, people of the sex you are attracted to interested in you, you are likely to do it.
    Screw the fact that your Tinkerbelle tattoo is going to look like a blonde Rosanne Barr in a few decades… got to show your individuality while you can by being like everyone else.

  6. I have always preferred to show my individuality by thinking for myself, Seflores. It’s why I never wore alligator logo shirt with the collar up, for example.

    Personally, I’ve rarely seen a tattoo that rated as well as even mildly repellent, much less making it to the “artistic” level. Sorry, just not a fan, but you’re welcome to do what you want to your body as long as we don’t get to the stage that “Tattoo removal is a human right that must be covered by insurance!”

    The (adult) daughter has a few tats (no, I don’t approve, but it’s not my body nor my money she spent). She’s not liking the fact that now that she’s an adult with an adult job she has to cover them in her professional office. That means long sleeve shirts even on hot days, etc. I suppose I could show a little sympathy if I were to try really, really hard, but it’s not like she wasn’t warned.

  7. Add excessive costume jewelry, “perms” and “afros”, polyester leisure suits, excessive piercings, and the like to Seflores’ list, depending on when you want to look.

    It strikes me that back in the 1980s, we all knew that we might die in a huge nuclear war, but we made our fashion mistakes so that they would only be seen if someone had an incriminating picture. Today, the prospect of a nuclear war is less–or at least WAS less until the Iran deal–but young people (and those my age I guess) are making a lot of fashion mistakes that show up permanently.

    They’re either braver or stupider than my generation, I guess. I also personally don’t see the appeal of having some stranger handling my body, or my wife’s, for hours to produce such a decoration.

  8. I compliment you on the imagery of the tooled saddle/walmart drapes. Well done!

    I agree with you; I would argue that most tattooing and other body modifications are not particularly attractive, and generally do not age well.

    But I would not single out women in that regard; most of it is not attractive on men either, including as they age. One of the few versions of tattooing I’ve seen that is more subtle is a white ink tattoo, small, not overwhelming, on paler caucasian skin — subtle when skin is untanned, still subtle but intriguing when someone gets lightly tanned. But not garish or intrusive like so much tattooing is.

  9. DG, agreed, but there’s a qualitative difference in where those tattoos are. Guys tend not to get tattoos on or adjacent to areas that, at least in decent society, are generally covered by a swimsuit. At least not most straight guys.

    However, many women do, and it’s a more striking sight because (a) most men don’t wear sheer clothing or sundresses and (b) those areas sag over the years. Plus, if a woman (or man) allows a stranger to hold, poke, and prod those areas for a period of hours to add the tattoo….she just might be a person who allows other strangers to hold, poke, and prod those areas.

  10. DG – I’m not singling out women, as such. They’re just the only ones I look at in sundresses.

  11. In recent years, the trend seems to be to have phrases tattoo’d on peoples bodies. I used to be a Bill Cosby fan. Glad I didn’t get that stamped on my arm.

  12. When I was in Vietnam and Thailand, I came close to getting a tat, while under the influence of baht beer or Jack Daniels. Before I left for my assignment, two of my older cousins that served in the Navy, had gotten them while on active duty in the Phillipines and advised me not to do it. Glad that I didn’t. One guy that I served with had a skull and crossbones, wearing a green beret, encircled by the immortal words “Kill Them All – Let God Sort Them Out”. He was quite a character and I’ve often wondered what happended to him.

    And nerd, I, too, received the second worst phone call that a dad wants to get from his daughter on her 18th birthday; “Dad, I’m leaving the tatoo parlor and should be home in about 30 minutes”.

  13. I look at some of these kids and have wonder; what did their parents do to piss them off?

  14. “what did their parents do to piss them off?”
    Around age one they were shipped off to a minimum security facility to be warehoused during working hours. There are all kinds of utilitarian excuses offered but they mean nothing to a 4 year old being cared for by strangers.
    Then around age 5 they were daily shipped to a minimum security public facility putatively for the purposes of education but it really doesn’t feel any different than being warehoused for the sake of convenience.
    Around age 18 they are “encouraged” to go to a college, again nominally for an education, but it still feels like a minimum security facility.
    And as a parent you should expect gratitude?

  15. Screw the fact that your Tinkerbelle tattoo is going to look like a blonde Rosanne Barr in a few decades

    I LOL’d.

    I look at some of these kids and have wonder; what did their parents do to piss them off?

    I look at some of these kids and have to wonder, “where were their parents when they were still growing up?”. Then I realize, while some of them didn’t have parents involved in their lives, some of them did and are merely mimicking what they grew up around.

  16. “I have always preferred to show my individuality by thinking for myself”
    Good for you. I prefer to show my individuality by letting my lawn go to hell.

  17. “I look at some of these kids and have to wonder, “where were their parents when they were still growing up?”. ”
    Neighbors of mine have two daughters that they have supported and were involved with in all their activities (sports, band, academics, etc.) and when the girls were in high school, all of their friends liked coming to their house because it was a great atmosphere (in fact one kid who came from a ‘broken’ home wanted to be adopted by them).
    The older girl went away to college and got into the party scene and nearly flunked out before righting herself and worked her ass off to complete college in 4 years. The other went to college, didn’t party, and made deans list every year. She completed her undergrad early and is now completing her masters just 5 years after graduating from high school. Guess which one has tattoos?

  18. “I prefer to show my individuality by letting my lawn go to hell.”
    In certain neighborhoods it’s considered ‘native vegetation’. ;^)

  19. “In certain neighborhoods it’s considered ‘native vegetation’”
    Tried that. Wound up getting a bill (still unpaid 4 years later) from a neighbor who disrespected my life (and yard) choices by mowing the lawn when I was away on vacation. So now I just mow the ‘diversity of plant life’ I have in my lawn on a semi-weekly basis.

  20. Regarding Emery’s comment, I remember a great bit that Rush had about the “Liberty Tattoo removal Program” where one of the beneficiaries is reveling in how wonderful his life is since he got his tats removed….and next, he was going to consider “bathing”.

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