Shot in the Dark

Retail Indicators

I was talking with a friend of mine in the retail business the other day. She works at a store in Uptown Minneapolis.

“Minnesota leftybloggers must be working on stories about a vaguely sexual scandal involving a conservative woman” she said.

“Why?”, I asked.

“Because I can’t keep Jergens or paper towles in stock”.

I had no idea what she meant. 

It is amazing, though, how the party of “It’s Just Sex!” and “Moooooove on!” turns as puritanical as a Pentecostal choir (and yet as giggly and prurient and onanistic as a bunch of ninth-grade boys who just saw the homecoming queen in a two-piece swim suit) when the subject is a conservative black, latino, Asian, or a woman. 

As usual, everything you need to know about liberal behavior is found in Berg’s Law – in this case, the Eighth Law.

Posted

in

,

by

Mitch Berg

Tags:

Comments

6 responses to “Retail Indicators”

  1. bubbasan Avatar
    bubbasan

    Or what about the upcoming start of Same Sex Mirages here in MN?

    Odd to think that liberals would have such intermittent work habits as to only need hand cream periodically…..but then again, whe I think of liberal cities and how poorly they’re run, maybe it makes sense.

  2. Seflores Avatar
    Seflores

    Just heard on the top of the hour news that Bachmann presidential campaign investigation has been extended by investigators from the House Ethics Committee. Don’t know if that’s causing the uptick in onanism, but it could be that.
    Given that atheistic Lefty’s apparently get off via sext chatting exclusively, while devout Christians have better and more sex with their spouses (suck it Lefty! it’s SCIENCE!! http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/07/19/the_family_research_council_argues_that_christians_have_more_orgasmic_frequent.html), it’s not a stretch to believe bad news about Bachmann amps up their self-abuse.

  3. Mitch Berg Avatar
    Mitch Berg

    Other than constant tittering about Marcus – because apparently giggling over stereotypically gay-ish mannerisms is only acceptable when there’s a conservative involved. especially an “out” evangelical – there’s been no real sex-based controversy about Bachmann that I’m aware of.

  4. Emery Avatar
    Emery

    Could this be what the hub-hub is about?
    http://thisisapictureofshawntowle.tumblr.com/

  5. Powhatan Mingo Avatar
    Powhatan Mingo

    The weird thing is, the shortage also occurs whenever lefty bloggers are working on stories about a vaguely sexual scandal involving a conservative man.
    Not that there is anything wrong with that.

  6. Emery Avatar
    Emery

    It apparently was a cheap shot directed at Laura Brod.
    http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2013/07/laura_brod_underwear_photo_internet_divorce_statement.php

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.