Forget March Madness. We’ve Got February Fanaticism.

With the mathematical elimination of the Chicago Bears for the NFL playoff scene back in early September, and Carson Wentz’s injury leaving him out of the Philadelphia Eagles lineup at the Super Bowl, I officially have exactly the same reason to care about the Super Bowl that I always do; none whatsoever.

And try as I may, I cannot work up the faintest glimmer of interest in major college basketball, although that brand of the sport stands head, shoulders and ankles above NBA hoops.

Hockey? I know why people like it. It just leaves me cold.   No pun intended.

And as this post move, there are roughly 3 weeks until pitchers and catchers report to spring training – one of the glorious to glorious ceremonies in American life, indeed, But still a long, chilly slog before the boys of summer take to the diamonds.

But this is America. We don’t stay trapped in worlds we never made – we build our own.

No, I’m not just talking about this post; it would be accurate, but not complete. No, I’m talking the special little fantasy world that sports fans build around their pastime – spending their hard-earned money to watch millionaires chase balls around stadiums built by billionaires (with generous, coerced tax pair support) and the crimes against manners, decency, decorum, morality, property and other people that carry out in their zeal to live out that fantasy.

And so it’s time to inaugurate what may be perhaps (eventually) the grandest of all American sporting traditions; The Shot in the Dark First Annual Disgusting Fan tournament.

The rules are simple; in the comment section of this post, nominate the fan base of a team, along with one or more citations about their crude, violent, depraved, entitled or otherwise filthy behavior.

When the nominations are all in, I’m going to set up a bracket with the series of seeded polls (not the kind the city of Philadelphia greased to try to curb the lunacy of Eagles fans – the other kind) which will lead us to a champion – The most disgusting fan base in all of sports.

We will observe the following rules:

  • You may nominate as many teams as you want – but the nominations must include one or more citations about the teams fans behavior.
  • The teams can be from any sport, in any country, at the professional or major college level. High school sports, given the parent fans involved, are a league all of their own.
  • Episodes of fan behavior must be from the last 20 years; lynchings carried out in the 1890s, unsurprising as they may be given the subject matter, fall outside the statute of limitations.

So there you go! Get your nominations in, and the voting will start next week!

8 thoughts on “Forget March Madness. We’ve Got February Fanaticism.

  1. I don’t know about citations, but from what I’ve observed:

    Jerk fans: Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago White Sox, Oakland Raiders, Chicago Blackhawks. Anti-social behavior, sometimes verging on the criminal. Mostly not rising to soccer hooliganism, but would if could. Most Chicago and Philadelphia fans generally have these tendencies, but it’s most pronounced with the teams cited. Bears fans used to be bigger jerks, but the ones I know best are kinda beat down by the last 30 years of futility. The White Sox fans are pure south side Chicago and tend to be the the nastiest Chicago fans generally, but I will admit I sometimes find them amusing, especially when they participated in Disco Demolition Night back in ’79.

    Smug fans: St. Louis Cardinals, Green Bay Packers (and I am one), Nebraska Cornhuskers football, Boston Red Sox, Duke University basketball. Hallmark tendency — “we do things the right way,” which assumes facts not necessarily in evidence.

    Whiny fans: Minnesota Vikings, Minnesota Gophers. In general, this is tendency of Minnesota fans, especially that subset of Vikings fans who traffic more in schadenfreude than in actual support of their team. A number of Vikings fans in my acquaintance seem to enjoy seeing the Packers lose more than they enjoy seeing the Vikings win.

    Bandwagon fans: Dallas Cowboys, Seattle Seahawks, Chicago Cubs, New England Patriots. Cubs fans are different than most Chicago fans, because they tend to be (a) wealthier and (b) more concerned about whether they are seen as part of the “in crowd.” Of bandwagon fans, I tend to think the Seahawk fans are the most distasteful.

    In a class of their own: SEC football fans. Hate ’em all. The Civil War is over, dumbasses.

  2. Thanks D for starting us off.

    Eagles fans do not deserve to have a championship team.

    Buffalo Bills fans are way whinier than Vikings.

    Have to disagree about Blackhawk fans. I have been to a few games at the old Chicago Stadium and other than good-natured ribbing I cannot say anything bad about them. And I wore my Leafs jersey and we generally ended up in the cheap seats. Maybe times had changed.

  3. Thanks, JPA.

    Buffalo Bills fans are way whinier than Vikings.

    Don’t have much experience with Bills fans. You may be right.

    I lived in Chicago for five years, from 87-92. Saw a lot of bad stuff from Chicago fans generally, but it seemed like the Blackhawks fans were the most bitter and nasty of all the Chicago fan bases. That may have changed with their recent success, but in those days it was dangerous to be in Chicago Stadium for a multitude of reasons — you could get your butt kicked by the locals or by the fans.

  4. I went there around 94-95. Yes, outside was nasty. But I have not had issues inside. I probably got lucky. I’ll defer to your more considerable experience.

    Growing up in TO during fruitless Norwide/Kelly/Levy years, I had to put up with a LOT of whining on Buffalo TV stations.

  5. University of Colorado fans are obnoxious, or at least were in the McCartney and Neuheisel years. Made me into a Huskers fan, along with a few things that probably should have put a few people at that school in jail. They were also incredibly fair weather fans–you wouldn’t see them if the visiting team had a losing record.

    I wonder if the Blackhawks fan obnoxiousness has something to do with the fact that they had a long stretch of playoff appearances without ever hoisting Lord Stanley’s cup….

    I’d count Michigan fans in the “smug” category. They don’t call them the “arrogant a**es” for nothing.

  6. The Los Angeles Dodgers deserve a dishonorable mention here.

    Any fan-base that can beat opposing fans into a coma (the 2011 opening day incident) isn’t a fan-base that should be rewarded with a championship.

  7. Minnesota Lynx fans, who consist of:

    5’1″ 250lb, tattooed, pierced Wymenz sporting hair everywhere but their heads.
    Annoying, pencil necked, virtue signaling, estrogen swilling, male feminists. (I bet Jeff Fecke has season tickets, Mitch)
    Annoying, leftist media hamsters who really don’t give a shit about dykeball, but are team players when it comes to the lefty social agenda.

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