Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:
Just came across this announcement, haven’t seen it in the media yet:
Attention citizens. Governor Walz has announced a modification of
Executive Order 20 – 20, requiring Minnesotans to Stay Home.
Our computer model indicates the people most likely to catch the
Covid-19 virus and use precious hospital resources, have an existing
co-morbidity, specifically, obesity. In order to reduce the likelihood
of overwhelming our hospitals with Covid-19 patients, we must reduce
Effective immediately, all Minnesotans whose body mass index is greater
than 29 are hereby declared “obese” and must immediately go on a diet.
Health care providers will be required to forward medical records to the
state for analysis and classification. No person may sell, lend or give
high-fat, high-calorie foods to individuals categorized as obese.
People attempting to eat fattening sweet foods will be arrested and
jailed, where the diet can be enforced.
If you suspect your neighbor is obese and may be hoarding high-fat,
high-calorie foods, call the tip-line. Police will be dispatched to
search their home for prohibited foods and you may be eligible for a reward.
We realize this is an extreme measure, but we’re an extreme situation.
We appreciate your help.
Just thought you’d want to know.
On the other hand – today’s joke is tomorrow’s policy, when it comes to progressive governance.