To: Twenty-Something Pantload
From: Mitch Berg – Bike Sympathizer
Re: Next Time, You Get An Elbow In The Choppers
You know who you are. You’re a twentysomething hYpStR. You ride one of those trendy retro three-speed bikes with the cargo racks, in which you’d stuffed your backpack, some books, and (I have no doubt) your IPhone.
You were riding up Wabasha last night.
Now, I’m sympathetic; I usually ride up Wabasha at the end of the day, when I’m biking home. It’s that existential near-death experience that kicks off my ride home by making me appreciate life so much more.
But there’s a difference, here. I ride on the street.
I first saw you as I was walking up the sidewalk to the bus stop, as the cold was settling in. I heard a voice behind me, curtly demanding “excuse me”. I turned around; you were whisking past someone walking on the sidewalk behind me. You sailed past me, crowding me toward the wall just a little bit. You pedalled up the sidewalk, brushing a lady who was carrying a baby, as you tried to thread the needle between people getting on the 3 bus. You seemed – by your speed, as well as your “arrogant enough to have been a Loring Cafe waiter during their heyday” – to think it was our job to get out of your way.
Just saying; next time you try that, make sure Dadders is still paying your dental insurance.
That is all.
Riding on the sidewalk is for six-year-olds and adult douchebags. That merits a Zefal in the spokes, if you ask Angryclown.
Good form, old bean.
Spiking the spokes it is.
I think you should merely be (ahem) helpful to this rider, by ‘checking’ his tires for him with a good kick as her pedals past.
The cold can dangerously reduce tire pressure, after all. Very important to have correct tire pressure when riding in slippery conditions….
You were riding a bike last night ?
In the cold ?
That’s dedication !!
BTW I agree–that guy on the sidewalk is a jerk.
Get used to it. It’s Generation Obama, where the three most used words are I, Me and Mine.
Kermit,
So true. I call this:
The Meanwhile Back To Me Gambit.
Looks like left and right elbows are together on this one.
Somehow the line of thinking here gives me the creeps; the story is a brilliant picture of how we’ve lost the ability to see “rudeness” as a sufficient reason to change behavior. And (wonder of wonders), I’m with AC on the response; given the quality of modern inexpensive bicycles, a zefal in the spokes would consign the guy to either buying a new bike, or suffering mightily as he tried to get an un-trueable rim back in true. You don’t want to injure your elbow on this kind of guy, after all.
Mitch, don’t hide from the fact that two wrongs don’t make a right when you pick that fight.
It really sounds like typical bicyclist behavior that, unfortunately, we have all witnessed.
You should feel lucky it wasn’t a group of those Critical Mass Holes.
I’m a little perplexed, KR. What “wrongs” are you talking about?
I’m also a little confused as to how you call this “typical bicyclist behavior”. I cast a pretty critical eye on the behavior of my typical biker, and for the most part we are vastly better-behaved than, say, car drivers. We have to be; we rarely win head-to-head confrontations with motor vehicles.
As to why I should “feel lucky” – well, I got the impression that the guy in my story may well have been a Critical Ass. He had that air about him. Still, where does “luck” come into it? They’re arrogant pains in the ass, but no real threat to anyone.
That bicyclist’s behavior, regardless of how typical, was wrong.
Resorting to violence and inflicting harm or damage against that bicyclist would also be wrong.
People are nice “for the most part”, but Minnesotans are poor drivers and bicyclists are arrogant pains in the ass, “for the most part”.
The “Twenty-Something Pantload” certainly was a threat, too bad we can’t determine his status as a CriticalMassHole and not just a typical bicyclist. 😉