Shot in the Dark

Suggestions Sought?

A co-worker is leaving the office to take a new job. We’re all supposed to sign the card. I have trouble with them. I overthink the message to make sure it’s politically correct and inoffensive, yet sincere and heartfelt.
First I tried “I’m happy you’re leaving,” but maybe that should be re-written as “I’m happy you’re leaving the office to start a new career.” Maybe not.
I thought about “Good luck in your new job,” but that sounds like the implication is “you’re going to need it.”
The problem is, I’m a poor liar. I hate to say “I’m going to miss you,” when I’m not. I hate to say “you deserve it,” when you don’t.
Is there a training class for this? How to be more sincere liar? Where do the politicians get their lessons?
Joe doakes

Have at it, mind hive.

Posted

in

by

Mitch Berg

Tags:

Comments

10 responses to “Suggestions Sought?”

  1. Greg Avatar
    Greg

    Sign your name next to that of the office’s biggest suck-up, then draw an arrow pointing to that name and write, “What they said.”

    DO NOT WRITE “what he said” or “what she said”. We must be careful with pronouns.

  2. jdm Avatar
    jdm

    Just sign your name.

    My deepest sympathies for having to work in a place where you have to waste time thinking about this.

  3. Mr. D Avatar
    Mr. D

    Per Greg, what jdm said.

  4. MacArthur Wheeler Avatar
    MacArthur Wheeler

    A favorite I’ve used is
    “You’re long overdue for this opportunity!”
    alternated with
    “You’ve earned this opportunity!”

  5. Night Writer Avatar
    Night Writer

    You could go with “thoughts and prayers.”

    Maybe it’s better to just say, “Best wishes.”

  6. Loren Avatar
    Loren

    If you think you must do more than just your name, go with Best Wishes.

  7. Swiftee Pinochet Avatar
    Swiftee Pinochet

    If this is the kind of issues you need to worry about at your job, my best advice would be to immediately start making the necessary arrangements for them to be giving *you* a bon voyage card.

    Life is way to short for this kind of stuff.

  8. Mammuthus Primigenius Avatar
    Mammuthus Primigenius

    “Next Year In Jerusalem!”
    Waddya think? Too Jewish?

  9. Prince of Darkness_666 Avatar
    Prince of Darkness_666

    You dont want my suggestions on this… just trust me.

  10. Night Writer Avatar
    Night Writer

    One time I started a new job in the morning, and at noon there was a going away lunch for someone who was leaving the company. The card landed on my new desk at 11. I double-checked the spelling of the woman’s name, wrote it on the card, and added the following message: “I feel as if I’ve known you for hours. Best wishes!”

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.