Shot in the Dark

My Conversation With Every Single DFLer, Part II

The conversation below is “Fake But Accurate”, and reflects things said – to me and otherwise – by DFLers in a variety of media over the past week or so.  I have synthethized those conversations into a single, “composite” character, whom I’ll nickname “EVERY DFLer” for clarity.

Don’t try this if you’re not an English major.

SCENE:  A coffee shop.  MITCH is sitting at table drinking black coffee.  EVERY DFLer walks by drinking an organic mo-chai-frapp-iato, recognizes MITCH.

EVERY DFLer: (Hisses).

MITCH:  (Notices ED):  Hey, what’s up?

EVERY DFLer:  Tom Emmer doesn’t have a plan!

MITCH: Of course he does.  He just hasn’t released it yet.

EVERY DFLer: That means he has no plan! HAHAHAHA!

MITCH: Well , no.  It means that he’s saving the plan for the campaign homestretch.  Because until sometime between Labor Day and Election Day, the only people who really care about politics, especially specifics of things like “plans”, are wonks, “journalists” and political junkies.  All releasing a plan right before people actually give a crap does is give the DFL time to frame it before any actual voters – including undecideds actually give a hoot.

EVERY DFLer:  Yabbut, Mark Dayton has a plan!

MITCH: Right.  And it’s full of holes and union swag and at the end of the day doesn’t even solve the problem it is putatively designed to deal with [Note:  the link goes to my “Dayton Dustbowl” category, which will be the subject of about ten posts on Tuesday – Ed.]

EVERY DFLer:  But he has a plan!  Emmer doesn’t!

MITCH:  Oh, I think you can count on seeing a plan starting to come out any day now.

EVERY DFLer: Yeah, but it’s not out now!  It doesn’t count!

MITCH: So when Emmer does come out with a plan, your entire attack falls flat…

EVERY DFLer:  No!  Because Emmer doens’t have a plan!

MITCH: But when he does come out with his plan…

EVERY DFLer:  Emmer doesn’t have a plan!

MITCH: But when he does come out with his plan…

EVERY DFLer:  Emmer doesn’t have a plan!

MITCH: But when he does come out with his plan…

EVERY DFLer:  Emmer doesn’t have a plan!

MITCH: But when he does come out with his plan

EVERY DFLer:  Emmer doesn’t have a plan!

EVERY DFLer:  Emmer doesn’t have a plan!

EVERY DFLer:  Emmer doesn’t have a plan!

MITCH: OK, let’s try a different tack, here. Let’s say, hypothetically, that a candidate – let’s call him “Ron Bremmer” – comes out with a plan to cut spending and hold the line on taxes, maybe even cut ’em, while re-engineering government so that it doesn’t eat up every nickel in overtaxation with frivolous spending when the times are good, like the DFL and the old, RINO MNGOP did from 1968 through 1992.  What then.

EVERY DFLer: …

MITCH:  Well?

EVERY DFLer: …

MITCH: It’s a hypothetical question.

EVERY DFLer: …

MITCH:  What would you do?

EVERY DFLer:   Your a racist who hates immigrants and gay people!

MITCH: No, I’m not.

EVERY DFLer:  Target!  Trigg Trigg Trigg Trigg!  Best Buy! What about the children?!?!

That pretty much covers it.

UPDATE:  Schwoops – someday just came!   Emmer is reportedly unveiling the first part of his plan later today.

Stay tuned.


Posted

in

by

Tags:

Comments

5 responses to “My Conversation With Every Single DFLer, Part II”

  1. Dog Gone Avatar
    Dog Gone

    Mitch, I also drink my coffee black, but I think you are drawing false conclusions on the basis of coffee preferences.

    When you write ‘fake but accurate’, you should have stopped at fake. It is not accurate.

    When you write “Because until sometime between Labor Day and Election Day, the only people who really care about politics, especially specifics of things like “plans”, are wonks, “journalists” and political junkies. All releasing a plan right before people actually give a crap does is give the DFL time to frame it before any actual voters – including undecideds actually give a hoot.”

    Wrong again, and insulting to a lot of Minnesota voters who have been asking Emmer about his plan — the questions at disasterous waitergate event at Old Mexico come to mind. I’ve asked about it months ago as well right here. (Which of those categories would you put me in? I’m curious.)

    Emmer has delayed releasing details of his plans for a very long time, long past when you had predicted he would. The ONLY reason that makes any sense for his delaying making his plans public, whatever they might be, is to give the public as little time as possible to examine them, or to fact check it, whatever spin you try to put on it.

    That doesn’t strike me as demonstrating leadership, confidence in the quality of his own plan, or something that the public won’t see through.

    I’m looking forward to Emmer unveiling his first part of this plan of his — I’m betting it won’t be very substantive. I doubt any of it will be more than just a retread of the same old same old that was disastrous in the last decade and before. There haven’t been a lot of new ideas from the GOP.

  2. Kermit Avatar
    Kermit

    Yes Mitch, you choice of beverage for your fictional character absolutely negates the entire premise. Go to your room.

  3. Mitch Berg Avatar
    Mitch Berg

    The coffee preferences are tongue in cheek – I had an ice chai yesterday.

    And my “conclusions” are not false, because there are none. Merely observations. And they are exquisitely accurate; they are taken (with amazingly little satiric license) from a number of conversations I’ve had in person and on Twitter lately.

    Any Minnesota voter who wants to get “insulted” by my observation about few people caring before Labor Day needs to take it up with all three major campaigns, who regard it as the practical truism it is.

    And I “predicted” he would start releasing his plan in September, because that was the word I got from campaign sources. Not sure what “prediction” you’re remembering, but I was right. But then, I had help. That’s how it’s done!

    And I’m sorry, DG, but it’s you that draws the false conclusion:

    The ONLY reason that makes any sense for his delaying making his plans public, whatever they might be, is to give the public as little time as possible to examine them, or to fact check it, whatever spin you try to put on it.

    It is a simple fact of campaigning that 80-odd percent of voters decide their votes in the last 4-6 weeks. You can capitalize the word only as much as you want, but it doesn’t change that immutable fact of campaigning. Most of the other 20% (and it might be 80/20, it might be 90/10, it might be 85/15, but you get the idea), including me and, likely, you and Pen, had their minds made up in May.

    Releasing the plan now reaches THOSE voters – the ones that matter most. Especially the high number of “undecideds”.’ And yes, it allows him to reach them with less interference from the DFL, who wants to frame the budget, and the media, which wants to help the DFL.

    I’m looking forward to Emmer unveiling his first part of this plan of his — I’m betting it won’t be very substantive.

    It’ll be substantial enough. At this point of the campaign, it’s not about absolute concrete specifics. It’s about showing you have the better vision.

    I doubt any of it will be more than just a retread of the same old same old that was disastrous in the last decade and before.

    The “disaster” that left Minnesota with 92% of is population insured and among the lowest unemployment rates in the country?

    The “disaster” that would have actually been quite a success had the DFL legislature not squandered half a decade of surpluses on new permanent spending, which ensured a deficit when the economy turned down?

    Thank God for Tim Pawnenty. Given the Legislature this past four years, we’d be a Cold California had Hatch or Moe won.

    There haven’t been a lot of new ideas from the GOP.

    Real principled conservatism IS a new idea in Minnesota.

  4. Mitch Berg Avatar
    Mitch Berg

    Oh, yeah: I said “It’s about showing you have the better vision”.

    Tomorrow – all day long, starting early in the morning – I’ll be running a post an hour fact-checking the Dayton “plan”.

    Since you brought up “plans” that are short of specifics and desperately need to be checked over.

  5. Kermit Avatar
    Kermit

    If Emmer wins, he may be stuck with the same task Pawlenty was, namely preventing the DFL majority from grinding this state into the ground and killing as many businesses and jobs as possible.
    What TPaw understands (and I presume Emmer does as well), is that Minnesota can’t just print more money like that… that person in Washington is doing.

    In Minnesota we have an actual balanced budget ammendment. The DFL think they can balance that budget on the backs of “the rich”, but this is a fantasy they will never be disabused of. When push comes to shove, the DFL will enact every regressive tax they can get away with.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.