Counting On Ignorance

The funny part is that Nick Coleman once said, with a straight (metaphorical, printed) face, that he's better than bloggers because he "knows stuff".

It's not so funny when you realize that he believes it.

It's scary when you remember that there are still people out there who believe it.

Today, our purported lack of diplomacy:

America used to have a genius for winning friends around the world, one nation at a time.

The implication? Today, we're not.

Of course, it's crap. The US' foreign relations have ebbed and flowed all over the place. We were at the brink of war with our biggest ally, Britain, and our biggest fake ally, France, in the 1860's. In the '80's, the parts of Western Europe that have been prospering from the end of the Cold War were protesting against...the policies that led to the end of the Cold War. In the '70's and '80s, India - today a lynchpin of our Asia policy and, while very aware of its self-interest, one of our biggest allies - was flirting with socialism and actively prodding US influence in the region.

Just saying - getting history lessons from Nick Coleman is like getitng sports talk from me.

Now we're ticking them off, from Mexico to Norway. Norway? Yes.

Let's do Mexico first. President Bush is sending the National Guard, which has had nothing to do lately, to "defend" the border with Mexico. [Note: When Nick Coleman uses scare quotes, pay attention; he intends "sarcasm" - Ed.] Unfortunately, this reminds Mexicans of the Pancho Villa days back in 1915, when Gen. Black Jack Pershing and his troops went to the Mexican border and forgot where the U.S. stopped and Mexico began.

I wonder - does Coleman seriously believe the Mexican government thinks that securing our own border is the same as sending a raid deep into Mexico to catch bandits (that were operating with the collusion of corrupt Mexican government officials 90 years ago)?

Does Coleman think that his readers, much less the Mexican government, are stupid enough to equate the two?

This Syttende Mai, the anniversary of the adoption of the Constitution that led to Norway's independence, we must sadly cross off Norway from our shrinking list of friends.

"Cross them off?"

No. When they expel our ambassador and start sending terrorists to the US, then we "cross them off".

Stoltenberg earned the wrath of the White House by winning election on a promise to withdraw Norway's troops from Iraq, thus depriving the Coalition of the Willing of its strategic force of Fighting Norskes.

Coleman intends to be sarcastic; I doubt he knows what "strategic" means. Norway, being a cold, rugged country, has troops (especially their special forces) that are among the best in the world at fighting in, er, cold rugged country. Like Afghanistan. Where Norway's special forces fought alongside US, British, Australian, German, Canadian, Danish and other troops.

And Norway is a NATO member. So having a socialist run partly on withdrawing from the coalition is not something the President should be expected to reward.

Still, Gov. Tim Pawlenty might be wise to protect his appeal to Minnesota's Norwegian voting bloc (second in size, behind the Germans). Pawlenty should return the snub to Norway by refusing any more bogus visits from Vice President Dick Cheney. The veep made a fundraising run to Wayzata Monday, covering his money haul with a fig leaf of respectability by meeting with National Guard troops, some of whom were thinking, "Mexico?" while others of stern Viking blood may well have been thinking, "Hands off Norway, Dick."

More likely scenario: Since Minnesota's Norwegians - and I'm one of them (half of my grandparents were Minnesota Norwegians) became Americans several generations ago, and since the National Guardsmen are probably among the huge percentage of the American people who want the border secured, they are more likely thinking "Hands off that keyboard, Coleman" .

Or they should be. In fact, I'll make that part of my personal mission.

With all that going on, it's lucky that vigilant Minnesotans had the strength and the time to outlaw the saying of the Pledge of Allegiance in Spanish or any language but English.

Rep. Marty Seifert, who I call "Cannonball," was outraged to find that Lakeville -- 125 miles as the crow flies from his home in Marshall -- had a school principal who was reciting the pledge in Spanish after first doing it in English...Thank God for Cannonball. If it weren't for him, we'd be saying it in Norwegian next.

Nah. The Norwegians learned it in English. It helped them learn the rest of our language.

Just like all immigrants should do.

On the other hand, perhaps it'd have been better if Nick Coleman's allegedly-Irish anscestors had spoken only Gaelic, and passed it on, and ghettoized their offspring in a linguistic Gaelic enclave.

Maybe he'd still be there.

His knowledge of history wouldn't be any worse if he couldn't read English, anyway...

Posted by Mitch at May 17, 2006 06:58 AM | TrackBack