Syttende Mai

Today is the 101st anniversary of the liberation of Norway, celebrated by Norwegians the world over as Syttende Mai.

Norway had been bludgeoned by centuries of corrupt, brutal Swedish and Danish rule. The Swedes exploited the native ingenuity, productivity and industriousness of their Norwegian vassals in all the most grotesque ways imaginable, treating Norway as it's national farm field, ATM machine and military for hire for generations; Norway was in effect a mercantilist colony of Sweden in the worst sense of the term, imposing confiscatory taxes on exports to countries other than Sweden, and fixing prices in Sweden for Norwegian goods at starvation rates. Norway's compliance was ensured via the keeping of thousands of hostages, and the presence of the brutal, thuggish Swedish Sjånefjørnørpolizaarnet secret police, who roamed the streets beating and killing dissidents with impunity. Scandinavian stoicism allowed the people to bear the burden for a long time.

But it had to end.

Finally, in 1905, Norway's citizens had had enough. A group of democratic revolutionaries, the Demikråteraevølutinaretskørperet, organized in Trondheim, and on May 15, rose up and took the city's Rådenhøs or City Hall, liberated hundreds of emaciated captives from the Sjånefjørnørpolizaarnet holding camp, and drove the Swedes from the city.

The Swedes responded, sending their elite, feared Køngsstrnørmetrøpen cavalry in their black uniforms and horned Viking helmets, to retake the city and exact their revenge.

At town meetings throughout Norway that night, worried citizens gathered in town squares, worried about the revenge that that bloodthirsty Swedes would exact for the humiliation. At the nadir of the meeting, Rolf Trygve Rybåk - a petty government functionary from Oslo - resolved that the Norwegians should apologize to the Swedes and beg for mercy. Rybåk, a gifted speaker (but not, apparently, much else), nearly had the crowd convinced to throw down their weapons (mostly boathooks and pitchforks) and to re-submit to Swedish rule and hope for the best.

But in a pivotal moment, Jårl Båkkehølm - a fisherman from Kristiansund - rose and, in a speech (which, rumor had it, later inspired both J.R. Tolkein in writing the inspirational "Men of the West" speech in "Return of the King" as well as the writers of Braveheart), explaimed in his curious northern dialect "De Sverigse hunde kann ønser Haerings i øndere Fiske løysten, bott njett ønsere Vrijhijd!"

Inflamed, the crowd poured into the streets (and as word of Båkkehølm's speech spread through the nation, the scene spread nationwide); Swedish garrisons were run out of towns throughout Norway, fleeing to the Swedish border in disarray. Finally, in a climactic battle in the northern Oslo suburb of Hvardågerten, the Norwegians' ragtag militia led by Båkkehølm met the Køngsstrnørmetrøpen in an apocalyptic battle that spilled through the streets of Oslo. Men, women and children first manned the barricades as waves of Swedish troops charged through the waves of gunfire from the ranks of levelled Norwegian rifles - and then, taking up the arms of the fallen, charged, driving the Swedes from the city and then the nation; the Swedes dropped so many rifles that the Norwegians actually paved their roads with them (the last Gevaehrsroødet, or "Rifle Road", wasn't finally paved with asphalt until 1966). The defeat was a national humiliation for the Swedes - so much so that it is never taught or even spoken of in Swedish schools or history books. It shattered Swedish confidence so severely that the nation descended into the consoling balm of debilitating socialism.

Båkkehølm, victorious, declared a national day of celebration for the nation's newfound independence and freedom from Swedish despotism; the outpouring of national joy was a cathartic release that was said to have inspired Tolkein's portrayal of Aragorn's accession to the throne, fifty years later. Båkkehølm also extended the defeated Swedes an olive branch which, combined with the institutional denial that enveloped the Swedish state, led to a century of amicability between the two Scandinavian states.

"Rybåk" became a colloqial Norwegian synonym for defeatism, placation of tyranny, and abjuration of duty that was only eclipsed a generation later, by Vidkun Quisling. Rybåk emigrated to America, where he disappeared from the Norwegian radar.

So today we Norwegians celebrate our heritage, our freedom, and the legacy of sacrifice which led to it.

Skol!

Note: Except for the date and holiday, everything I wrote above, down to the tiniest detail, is false.

The real story of Syttende Mai, Norway's Norwegian Constitution Day, is a little more prosaic and pacific - although Norway has rolled the official celebration of its liberation from the Nazis, actually May 8, into Syttenda Mai, so I'm not that far off...

Posted by Mitch at May 17, 2006 05:22 AM | TrackBack