Thanks Mitch! I was forced to shoehorn all my Cheney jokes into that Dutch-language-thingy post.

So you're thinking this will be good for the administration, eh? It'll be hard to beat the big Katrina boost they got, don't you think?

I'm thinking more like that NSA thing that was supposed to lead to impeachment (sez Mad How) as opposed to a surge in the polls.

That kind of thing.

Well at least now they'll get some legislation passed because any dissenting Senators can be "invited to go hunting with the Vice President"

This one's way funnier though.

Cheney'd have a good shot at a Darwin award. You know, if he believed in Darwin.

Is the Left outraged now ... that Cheney never enlisted in the Army, so he could go to Vietnam with an M16 over his shoulder?

Sometimes an accident is just an accident.

Cheney asked Whittington if he wanted to go hunting. Whittington said: "I'm game." So Cheney shot him.

Take Angryclown. Please.

Kermit,
Cheney wouldn't shoot Angry Clown... the Veep doesn't shoot dumb animals.

He *tries* to shoot dumb animals. But his aim isn't very good.

I think Cheney and company will need a little refresher on range safety and fully identifying what you are shooting at.

28 gauge pellets are pretty small...sub BB size...perfect for upland birds, though.

Methinks angryclown needs a little range safety training, too.

I should have said (in Henny Youngman voice)
Take Angryclown. Please.

""Sometimes an accident is just an accident."" if it is a Republican.

Can you imagine if the same thing happened to Kerry. The free for all you had with a split second photo was fodder for a few days, you would be milking this for weeks. But NOOOOO, don't you dare Left side of the Blogoshpere try to make hay out of this when it is our guy!!

As for poll numbers, you throw them out the window when they are down, but give them front page news when there is a blip of an uptick. Bottom line, over half the country dissaproves of this administration and you call it a mandate. Sheesh!

Flash

Greg understated: "I think Cheney and company will need a little refresher on range safety and fully identifying what you are shooting at."

Lesson One: How to tell the difference between a quail and a lawyer.

Aren't they both fair game?

You'd think. But it turns out lawyer season isn't for another month.

At least he wasn't a lawyer *and* a journalist. Ol' Dick would've had to reload!

"How to tell the difference between a quail and a lawyer"

1) Quail are better eatin'

2) Lawyer pelts fetch a better bounty out west.

I'm just waiting for the removed facial pellets to end up on E-bay. You just KNOW it's going to happen.

I was going to steal some of the Clown's good material and post it on another site. Then I went back thru and read it.

Fearless prediction indeed. Look for Sec. Rice to brain a wealthy GOP supporter with an exhaust manifold early next week; that'll shoot those numbers right up. I also hear that Rep. Kennedy is planning on administering a roomful of tittie twisters during an upcoming fundraiser.

i'm a through and through Republican and find this pretty funny (I feel sorry for the lawyer ... maybe not) ;) In No way will this *hurt* us - it's too damn funny. So the Bush admin takes the lawyer joke seriously - what do with 1000 lawyers on a boat - rescue them to go hunting with Mr. Cheyney. I love it - if I could be a Democrat and vote twice this November I would (hmmm ... maybe exhume my grandmother for the election - hold on calling the DNC for dead grandmom voting strategy)...

hahahahaha I wish Reid went hunting with him too.

Top 10 Reasons why Cheney shot Harry Whittington
(Click on my name for the link)

10) Cheney wants to show Terrorists just how tough he is.

9) Thought Whittington was an illegal alien crossing the border.

8) Just expressing his 2nd Amendment rights.

7) Whittington was talking about his favorite TV show "Just Shoot Me".

6) (Cheney) "Bout time someone else took a ride in Ambulance Force 2 besides me"

5) Star Wars Defense Shield obviously needs a little more work.

4) Quail are obviously harder to shoot down than the 'ChickenHawk' theme the Democrats tried running.

3) (Fellow Hunter)"Hey there's the bird!" (Cheney) "Byrd?"

2) Dick's been looking for some "Texas Tea" Jed Clampet style ever since ANWAR drilling's been shut down.

1) In one fell swoop, Rove's Mind Control Ray just pushed the Mohammed Cartoon's, Katrina and the Domestic Wiretapping stories back to page 19. (Picture of Rove smilling evilly)

Flash wrote:
“Can you imagine if the same thing happened to Kerry. The free for all you had with a split second photo was fodder for a few days, you would be milking this for weeks. But NOOOOO, don't you dare Left side of the Blogoshpere try to make hay out of this when it is our guy!!”
Top Ten Reactions by John Kerry upon shooting a fellow hunter
(in no particular order, just written as they came to me)

10) You SOB, you got in my way!
9) I didn’t shoot him; it was the secret service detail.
8) Maybe those ignorant gun nuts will take me seriously for a change!
7) Where’s my fourth purple heart?
6) It wasn’t my shotgun, it belonged to Theresa.
5) Let me tell you about my plan for improved hunter safety . . . hey you WAKE UP!
4) It’s all the administration’s fault because _______ (insert reason of the week here).
3) When I’m elected president, no hunter will ever after to fear being shot by accident again.
2) Before deciding to go quail hunting, we need to first see if it passes the global test.
1) When I was hunting in the jungles of Texas, my fellow hunters told me stories of how they had personally shot live animals, cut off limbs, and ravaged the countryside in the a fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan . . .

Another interesting blog banter from all of you. I'm guessing that you are not outdoorsmen(women).
While I enjoy watching the synergy of this unique, and somewhat weird, relationship you all have with each other I want to tell you that shooting your hunting buddy is akin to the prospect of loosing one of your own family members.

Even fast Eddie Schultz knows and understands this. (God help us he is back on the 'it's just Fargo' Market.)

It always amazes me how intelligent people can become so emotive and seemingly 'loose' their ability to reason if even the hint of politics is even remotely involved.

Here is your homework asignment: Go out and find a thicket of dense brush and pace off 30 yards. Half of the 101st airborn could be at the end of that run and you would not SEE them. But you would see the quail just above the brush.

As time goes by I become more convinced that Democrats are morons who are not able to apply deductive reasoning to situations. They are not able to think logically without their emotions usurping their logic.

Why is this?

Thank's again Mitch for the blog. I have a feeling I get as much of a hoot from it as you do!

Oh, by the way, kudos to your dad for his award! Two aspects of excellence within one family is rare...and awesome.

Thorley, man, I'm the only one you can trust on this: Your Top Ten lists are well thought-out, topical and ideologically on point. The one thing they are not is funny.

No one in Mitch's amen corner will tell you this, either because a) they're also not funny or b) if they are funny, they at least appreciate the effort and agree with the ideological orientation. (I exaggerate just a bit. The Texas Tea item shows originality and, with a little work, could be funny.) But the truth is, you're a right-wing, poor-man's Janeane Garafolo with this material. And I sense that's not what you want to be.

Listen to me, Thorley. I'm the only one who'll tell you the truth. You don't want to be one of those unfunny guys who think they're funny.

"Listen to me, Thorley. I'm the only one who'll tell you the truth. You don't want to be one of those unfunny guys who think they're funny."
-------------
And that pearl of wisdom, sports fans, comes from some angry clown who really ought to know.

Chris said,

"As time goes by I become more convinced that Democrats are morons who are not able to apply deductive reasoning to situations."

Hey Chris, here is a picture from a previous Cheney quail hunting excursion...

http://www.outdoorsbest.com/electionalert/cheney3.jpg

Take a look at the picture... Look closely at Cheneys head...

Those headphone looking thingies he's wearing are designed FOR A SHOOTING RANGE!!!

They're not supposed to be worn in the field - especially in a line formation hunting with other hunters. You're supposed to be able to ear what the hell is going on around you

You whine about Democrats being morons...?

http://www.alamanceind.com/gore_gun.jpg

I don't whine about it; I just accept it.

"Can you imagine if the same thing happened to Kerry?"
-----------
Yeah. I'd say sometimes an accident is just an accident. I'd say that anytime it's clear someone accidentally shot his friend in a hunting accident. I'd feel bad for everyone involved because a great day hunting just turned into a miserable night at the hospital, or worse.

If the Left wants to "make hay" out of this unfortunate accident, that's fine. The Left exploits funerals and veteran quadruple amputees for political gain, so what's a little bird shot among friends?

It's by the Left's actions that people learn who the Left is and what the Left stands for. The vast majority of Americans don't like it. They damn sure won't vote for it.

Doug: "Those headphone looking thingies he's wearing are designed FOR A SHOOTING RANGE!!!"

Maybe, maybe not. Can't tell from that picture. Lemme ask you, do you think Cheney follows the CDC recommendations? In case you're curious, they're here: http://www2a.cdc.gov/hp-devices/huntershooters.html. The short of it: use double hearing protection, passive foam in the ears and active muffs. I know I do, but then again, when I go to the range it's for several hundred rounds at a minimum. Still, the combo is nice if you're going to spend a day throwing lead.

If you're a serious shooter, one of these (http://www.derry.gentexcorp.com/hearingprotect.htm) are pretty nice. Good clarity, adjustable volume to make hearing at the range actually better than regular (good for folks who wear hearing aids), pretty much normal sound quality except when shooting's going on. Nice when you're spending the day at the range or in the field with some buddies and you want to be able to talk. 'Course if you're talking, it's not serious hunting, but it's nice to be able to hear the dogs well if you've got 'em, or if you're lucky enough to think you'll get many chances at targets (which he could have if he were in a game farm).

AC: "Lesson One: How to tell the difference between a quail and a lawyer."

Lesson Two: Why you should shoot the quail even though that isn't the best thing for society. (Ok, you can shoot them both if you've got enough shells, but be discrete.)

Sorry, AC, I'm still not convinced that he didn't know what he was doing. I say we need to call for an independent investigation. Let's get all those reporters to sneak out into that field to search for evidence right before the next hunting party leaves.

Well, here's the reaction of the professional comedy community: Leno, Letterman, Jon Stewart. For some reason, they took the Vice President's shooting of a 78-year-old lawyer in the face while on a car hunt for farm-raised quail as an excuse to make fun of Cheney, not the Democrats.

They must hate freedom.

http://snipurl.co m/mji9

Doug,

The moron statement still stands. And you are not an outdoorsman. That is a picture of a hunt in a corn field. Quail are roosters, along with ruff grouse and woodcocks. They prefer to be off the ground other than daybreak, and sundown when they are filling their craw with small grains or seeds. Sharp tail grouse and pheasants are the upland game birds you find in a corn field during the daytime.

If you wish to rattle sabers, do your research.

Kudos Nerdbert, My guess on the active/passive muffs also.(Again Doug, do your research.)

Here's a link to a piece in the Charlotte Observer detailing the errors in Cheney's drive-up quail hunt:

http://www.charlotte.co m/mld/observer/news/opinion/13866143.htm

Unfortunately, I don't know as much as the rest of you about the fun of killing defenseless animals. But since this piece comes from one of your cousin-humping red states, I figure the guy probably knows what he's talking about.

Nerdbert asked: "Lemme ask you, do you think Cheney follows the CDC recommendations? In case you're curious, they're here: http://www2a.cdc.gov/hp-devices/huntershooters.html."

Nerd, I can't seem to download that recommendation on my browser. Is it the one that reads:

"When discharging a firearm, excercise caution not to aim in the direction of a 78-year-old lawyer. Mr. Vice President? Can you hear me, Mr. Vice President? It's me, Harry Whittington. Sweet baby Jesus, Cheney, have you gone insane? Put that gun down! PUT THAT....AUGHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD, HE SHOT ME!!!! I CAN'T SEE!!!"

No, AC, it's the recommendation that to maintain a healthy society it's necessary to periodically cull the lawyers to prevent them from ravaging the environment.

The proliferation of clowns should also be strictly curtailed.

Chris, I've got several pairs of those active muffs. I bought my first one when they first came out. The gov't refused to allow the manufacturers to put the suppression data on the boxes for years before giving in. I really like them, especially for range work. As I said, I'll do a couple hundred rounds of some higher calibers at a bare minimum, so doubling up makes quite a difference. And when I've used them hunting I don't double up there since it's so few shots on average, but it's nice to be able to hear the dogs and your buds as you go through the fields. I know most folks don't bother with protection when hunting, but I'm cautious about things like that since I know too many serious shooters with hearing loss.

I was dissapointed. I thought the URL would take me to :

Hunters Hooters

My Right leaning friend 'The Doctor' is confused why everyone isn't enjoying this fine opportunity to break away from the pithy political rankering and just laughing it up for a day.

It really doesn't need to be 'us against them' 24/7 does it!?

Flash

It's an "unfortunate accident," Flash. Nothing funny about it. Just ask Vice Principal Eracus.

AC, I read that Charlotte report you referenced. It's slanted to bash Cheney (surprise!) by making "best practices" the only way to go. While I agree with most of his points as being the ideal, I disagree that the practices he denegrates are bad.

It's much nicer when you've got well trained dogs, but they aren't always available and it takes a lot of effort to maintain them. And some folks just don't like having much of the pace of the hunt determined by the dog. I'd classify most bird dogs you'd use for quail I've met as borderline loco, especially when there's a possibility of a hunt nearby. In other words, if the other guys bring a bird dog, I like it, but I don't have one.

His point on 3 gun parties isn't valid. 3 guns is the practical limit and just fine if everyone is responsible. 3 gun parties require more discipline on the part of the hunters for target selection, but they're not much different than 2 gun parties in practice. In any case, the size wasn't the problem here, it's that somebody wandered off and that's bad in any size party.

The comment on 5:15 being too late to hunt probably isn't valid, either. It all depends on the light and the conditions in the field they were hunting. Here in MN in the fields there's still plenty of light at 5:15, and visibility is very good (none of that corn you dislike). Again, early morning is best, but by no means the only time. If you've got a good dog with you even midday isn't too bad.

The car point is strange. Cheney's got a heart condition, so him being far from transport would be unwise. He's also no spring chicken, so a day of tramping through the fields may have been more than he could be expected to do. So if anyone should be taken out in the park in a car, it would be his party. I'd never do it. To me getting out there after quail is at least as much an excuse to get out and hike as it is to hunt.

The low bird and not being aware of your party, your target and what's behind it jibes are completely deserved. Cheney blew that and there can be no excuses. As has been said before: dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. I've been accused of "letting too many go" but that's better than taking a bad shot even if it turns out well. There are too many hunters out there who get too excited by a chance to take a shot that they take too many bad ones. But those are usually the hunters who don't hunt enough to be able to walk away from the bad shots knowing they'll get more chances.

If Cheney is that trigger happy, I'd suggest snow goose season in SD. No limits, easy birds to find, plenty of targets, etc. The Canadian gov't was going to poison them since they're tearing up the tundra, but they decided to pull the limits on them and try and let the hunters do their thing; if the hunters fail to curtail the numbers, it's poison time according to the Cannucks. The feathers make them a challenge to take down (especially since they've outlawed lead shot), they aren't all that big for a goose, and they are kind of gamey if you're not used to that kind of meat.

Chris said,

"And you are not an outdoorsman."

Then I guess I'd better take down that tree stand on my property that I built with my son two years ago and while I'm at it, I might as well sell the hunting land I own in Northern Wisconsin.

But no, I never drive around a field in a H2 and have Jeeves stop when we flush a bird so I can shoot it from the opened window. Plus, I've never shot a man in the face or anywhere else for that matter...

You're right, I guess i'm not an outdoorsman like Mr. Cheney.

Um, right wing kooks? Check out CNN.com. It looks like Whittington had shrapnel "peppered" into his heart and had a minor heart attack. I guess the White House forgot to disclose that part.

Clown - do you live in a state where hunting is a quasi religion (like Minnesota or Wisconsin)? If you did you would realize that HUNTING ACCIDENTS HAPPEN REGULARLY! People who know better still have accidents - that is why they are called accidents.

No, I don't hunt - I don't own a gun - I DON'T LIKE GUNS!!! However, I respect the Constitution enough to know that those who do own guns or who want to own them should be allowed to own them. Just because I a) don't own one and b) don't like them doesn't give me the right to force my will on others! But that is another rant for another day...

What I find fascinating is that the Sheriff wasn't allowed to chat with Mr. Cheney till the next day...

Just enough time for the Jim Beam to work it's way through his icy veins.

Chappaqui-Dick

This is serious! CNN is reporting the Teaxs Game and Fish dept. has issued Cheney a warning for not having a stamp on his license. The Senate Judiciary committee should hold a special session.

What I find fascinating is the seething rage bubbling just under the surface of Doug. Envy is one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

Hey Lady,

I like that opinion about opposing your will on others. Very respectful.

It would be nice if all Righties took that angle. You know, with respect to religion and all them thar other freedoms Righties seem so inclined to be tolerant of.

Kermit, envy would be the desire for anothers traits, status, abilties or situation.

If you're refering to Cheney, what exactly are you suggesting I desire? His charming personality? His deft skills as a marksman? The fact that he committed treason? If you believe it is his status, I have no desire to be the President of the United States or the VP for that matter...

As for the other deadly sins...

Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities - like hunting at a game reserve and believing you are actually hunting... Does Cheney also fish at a stocked trout pond and consider himself an angler?

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires. No explanation required

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body. Considering his dick is as lifeless as your sense of humor, I won't accuse him of this one.

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath - What did Cheney say. "Go F*** yourself?*

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness. And check...

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work. He hunted from a moving vehicle.

Um, right wing kooks? Check out CNN.com. It looks like Whittington had shrapnel "peppered" into his heart and had a minor heart attack. I guess the White House forgot to disclose that part.
------------
Gee, "shrapnel" from a bird shot pellet caused a heart attack. "Peppered" even. You saw it on CNN. Now, that's funny, clown, even for you.

So, let's see if we right wing kooks got this right. According to you, the angry clown, and Doug, the pious minister (peace be upon him), the facts are Cheney got drunk on Jim Beam, shot his friend Whittington in the heart with some bird shot, the shrapnel caused the man a heart attack, and then Cheney committed treason when he didn't call the White House press corps right away so they couldn't swarm all over the hospital, the doctors, the hunting camp, the poor bastard's family, the nearest town, the man on the street, his dog, and each other in yet another orgiastic frenzy over something as common as rain for field and stream sportsmen. Consequently, the unhappy result is just another 24/7 press story about just another 24/7 press story, just like the one that flopped about some dumb blonde living in a ditch in Crawford, Texas. And now you're mad again because "Bush lied," there were no WMDs, Bush was AWOL, and John Kerry, the real true war hero of Vietnam and wife of Teresa Heinz, isn't president today. And you learned this all from CNN. Us right wing kooks should check it out.

Uh, umm... okay. All righty then! We'll be right there...

Silly Eracus...

As any honest hunter will tell you, accidental shootings are frequently associated with excessive alcohol consumption.

In Mr. Cheneys' case, we'll never know because the secret service "conveniently" kept the local authorities from talking to the Vice President. Why would they do that?

But I'm sure there was nothing to cover or hide... Nothing at all...

Notice Eracus, I never said anything about facts. It is just a hypothesis. By the way, you'll never know the truth either but since you clearly choose blissful ignorance over logical and reasonable explanations, I'm sure you are a very content man - in a Chauncy Gardener kind of way...

As for treason, no, he didn't commit treason when he didn't call the Press Corp. He committed treason when he called Scooter and told him to leak the identity of a CIA agent.

And shooting a man in the face and chest is as common as rain for field and stream sportsmen?

WOW! Now that is something I did not know. We must have hunters dropping like flies.

Common as rain... Who knew...

Oh... By the way... The guy Cheney shot, had a heart attack.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060214/ap_on_re_us/cheney_whittington

Mad? You're funny, Eracus. Long-winded and dumb as a bag of hammers. But funny!

We're laughing like hell at Cheney's hijinx and, since you totally don't get the joke, we're laughing at you.

I guess you'd like us to be mad - it would mean you're accomplishing something. But when the Vice President shoots some Republican fat cat, ineptly tries to keep it quiet, then blames said fat cat for walking into the line of fire, it's just a little comical. Throw in a clueless rant by Eracus, and I'm shooting Rice Krispies out my nose.

Are you mad AC? I'm not mad. I fact, I'm feeling really pretty good.

I'm thinking after all of this, Mr. Cheney and Mr. Bush really should spend some more quality time together. A nice hunting trip would be just what the doctor ordered.

Actually, I heard today that Mr. Cheney and Mr. Whittington have been meeting up at the Armstrong ranch every chance they get. It started back in the early 60's when they were both hired to herd quail. I hear they like to meet there and go "hunting" although this was the first time they actually took their guns out of their cases.

AC: Chappaqui-Dick

You're right! Exactly the same! Except that the victim wasn't abandoned and left to die while the perpetrator went off to try and find someone who'd give him an alibi and another martini. Nor has anyone died yet. Other than that, an apt analogy.

Doug: "In Mr. Cheneys' case, we'll never know because the secret service "conveniently" kept the local authorities from talking to the Vice President."

The WashPo timeline has the county sheriff being notified between 7:50 and 8pm, and the sheriff saying he'd send someone out around 8am. It wasn't the SS trying to keep the locals away, it was the locals not thinking it serious enough to send someone right out. Unless the reporters got it wrong and we know that never happens.

Doug: "We must have hunters dropping like flies."

The number of hunter fatalities in MN is about the same as Central Park's murder rate over the last decade: 1.7 deaths/year. The 30.9 injuries/year is a heck of a lot lower than the average sport considering the number of hunters.

TLL: "Clown - do you live in a state where hunting is a quasi religion (like Minnesota or Wisconsin)?"

Actually, he does. Up in the Adirondack Park and in most areas outside his environs they are moderately serious about hunting. I know that the Plattsburg area schools tended to close on the first day of deer season. Down where he is in NYC, well, let's just say he isn't uncommon.

A good rule of thumb is that New England is pretty serious about hunting as long as you're more than 30 miles from the coast, less in many places.

Okay, quick note. The media, more often than not, doesn't know what the hell they're talking about. Sure, we have beats and areas of "expertise," but we're trained, first and foremost, as journalists, meaning we trained to write and craft stories. Most of the media wouldn't know a heart attack from heart burn. What's more, we're trained to give the most dire scenario possible as per the "if it bleeds, it leads" dictate. Therefore, a heart arrythmia is referred to as a "mild heart attack," because it sounds more sensational. If a doctor says "Mr. Whittington suffered a heart arrythmia, which could be considered a mild heart attack," the press is going to leap on the heart attack angle like a lion on a gazelle. In other words, we're kind of dumb and reactionary.

Personally, if I were someone of importance, the VP of the United States perhaps, and I just accidently plastered a friend in the face with bird shot, telling the Press about it would be next to the last thing on my mind. I shot a friend by accident, damnit. Leave me the hell alone. You'll get the story eventually. For now, I'm more concerned about his well-being, not a national press who could pretty much care less, except to make a political issue. I'm concerned about my friend. You're concerned about, well. . . ratings.

Notice Eracus, I never said anything about facts.
----------------------------
Well, golly gee whiz, Doug, you're exactly right. You never do say anything about facts. You just make stuff up. Most everything you post here is a hypothetical, a conspiracy, or just another moonbat scatology. You're so predisposed to your own circular reasoning that it never occurs to you if Cheney was as pernicious, omnipotent, and (gasp!) "treasonous" as you believe he is, and drunk on Jim Beam hunting quail when he shot the guy, why didn't he just lie? Surely he could have found at least one of his robotic henchmen or some flack from Haliburton to take the fall for him, wouldn't you think? Just a theory....

And ah, yes, the angry clown. I forget you can't follow more than 5 words in a sentence and not any that have more than two vowels. But you remain on point like a good Lefty moonbat exploiting the misfortune of others for cheap political gain having nothing better to offer. Al Gore is funnier, John Kerry is smarter, and we all know it's not Snap, Crackle, or Pop you've been puttin' up your nose. No doubt what's left of your brain is mighty crispy by now, but it ain't from the breakfast cereal.

Therefore, a heart arrythmia is referred to as a "mild heart attack," because it sounds more sensational.
-------------
Thank you, Ryan. That's a pretty responsible post for a journalist these days, because as anyone familiar with gun shot wounds knows, next to shock the medical issue is sepsis, particularly in a geriatric wounded in the face and neck by birdshot from a shotgun blast.

But if a doctor tells today's rabid dog journalists the patient's in ICU as a precaution against sepsis, tomorrow's lead story will say Cheney pushed him into a septic tank. Then Doug will say they were both drunk and fell in, and the mad clown will describe it as Cheney's secret undisclosed location.

Next thing you know, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi will be pounding the table over Bush lying about where the septic tank was. The New York Times will claim it was a bio-chemical weapons test, and Newsweek will report they found a Koran. Finally, the Democrats will demand an investigation, the Republicans will cave in committee, Congress will pass a ban against septic tanks, and John Kerry will vote against it before he votes for it.

All in pursuit of the truth, of course, for the sake of the children.

Ryan, struggling to hold back tears, said: For now, I'm more concerned about his well-being, not a national press who could pretty much care less, except to make a political issue. I'm concerned about my friend."

Heehee! So that's your best explanation, after two days to think about it? Cheney got....emotional?

Yeah, he's a real softie that way. I bet the minute the chief of his Secret Service detail disobeyed the order to "finish him off with a head shot," Cheney's first thoughts were about Whittington's well being.

Doug qeried: "If you're refering to Cheney, what exactly are you suggesting I desire?"

Power. And a job that doesn't require a nametag.

Kermit doesn't need a nametag. He's got a patch ironed right onto his shirt.

Sigh. Yeah, AC, I had tears in my eyes. That's why I poked fun at the issue on my blog. You really are a hopeless tool.

nerdbert said,

"The WashPo timeline has the county sheriff being notified between 7:50 and 8pm, and the sheriff saying he'd send someone out around 8am."

Let's clarify shall we...? Quoting the article...

"They (that would be the Secret Service)made arrangements at the sheriff‘s request to have deputies come out and interview the vice president the following morning at 8 a.m. and that indeed did happen," Zahren said.

Maybe some punctuation would help you... Let's try it again...

"They (that would be the Secret Service)made arrangements, at the sheriff‘s request, to have deputies come out and interview the vice president the following morning at 8 a.m. and that indeed did happen," Zahren said.

See the difference? That's called spinning the story and since the quote is coming from a Secret Service spokesperson, Mr. Zahren, it's pretty easy to figure out which was this is being spun.

Notice that the Secret Service made the arrangements to have the Sheriff out the next morning. It's not clear who determined the time that the Sheriff would come out.

"The number of hunter fatalities in MN is about the same as Central Park's murder rate over the last decade"

What does that have to do with the price of brie?

Eracus said that hunting accidents like this one are as common as rain to outdoorsmen.

I've hunted and fished dozens of times in the rain and not once did I shoot a man in the face and I have never been shot so is it as common as rain or not?

Clown is running out of original material. I thought it was embroidered.
I do think it's cute how AC feels the need to defend Doug. Is the Clown angling for an invite to Doug's northern Wisconsin property? I'm sure there's a puptent available. And I'd bet Doug is a better shot than Cheney...

Kermit said,

"Power. And a job that doesn't require a nametag."

Uh huh... That's why I quit a job in management - because I desire power...

Do you even think about things before they exit your pie hole or is your pursuit of personal insults so important that you abandon all logic?

It's funny... In another post, Mitch talks about the new Democratic strategy of name calling and insults.

...and then there was Kermit...

Some dude with a sad little blog no one apparently reads sighed: "Sigh. Yeah, AC, I had tears in my eyes. That's why I poked fun at the issue on my blog."

Doug, I thought you were proud of your job in retail. How could I possibly insult you?
Pie hole? Hah! I don't even type this stuff. I dicatate it to Jeeves and he does the typing.

The Master wishes me to appologize for misspelling dictate. I have been docked a days pay.

Kermit, I am proud of of the work I do. It just happens to be in retail now instead of in the corporate world where I used to work.

And no, I'm not insulted - never have been but that doesn't stop you from trying.

The Master wishes me to convey to Doug his expression of "thrilledness" at Doug's job satisfaction.

Kermit said,

"Pie hole? Hah! I don't even type this stuff. I dicatate it to Jeeves and he does the typing."

So in other words, you verbally relay it to your man-servant and he types it...

I'll ask it again and please do try to follow along... do you even think about things before they exit your pie hole or is your pursuit of personal insults so important that you abandon all logic?

Kermit said,

"And I'd bet Doug is a better shot than Cheney..."

Well Kermit, considering that my gun actually works, I can virtually guarantee that if I DID choose to engage in that sport, I would be decidedly more skilled than Mr. Cheney.

Since I don't have the desire to engage in that type of hunting, I guess we'll never know will we...

"Some dude with a sad little need to comment in chain-yanking fashion altough no one apparently reads them sighed: 'Sigh. Yeah, Ryan, I'm a hopeless tool. That's why I don't know how to start my own blog.'"

I fixed that for ya, AC. No need to thank me.

It's so cute! Doug doesn't understand that he is entertainment.

It's so cute! Kermit doesn't understand that he's not.

You read my comments, Ryan. And that means the world to me.

Doug: "That's called spinning the story and since the quote is coming from a Secret Service spokesperson, Mr. Zahren, it's pretty easy to figure out which was this is being spun."

Or not spun. Take your pick. As you say, it depends on how you interpret the talk, but in several places on their website the WashPo seems to imply that it was the sheriff doing the asking. Again, no solid data, so you can take the statement as you wish. Now, it'd be nice if the press would investigate and clarify, but that'd be work.

Doug: "Eracus said that hunting accidents like this one are as common as rain to outdoorsmen. I've hunted and fished dozens of times in the rain and not once did I shoot a man in the face and I have never been shot so is it as common as rain or not?"

Common as rain, no. But my wife actually reminded me that her father shot his brother in the face years ago while pheasant hunting and he still has some of the pellets in his face, so it's certainly not unheard of. And no, in their case the sheriff never even bothered to show up and take a statement even though there was a hospital visit involved. And this was in one of those New England states that are so enamoured of gun control.

Personally, I've had some shots come nearer than I'd like but that's usually been yahoos in deer season where it's a much more serious thing.

Doug: "Well Kermit, considering that my gun actually works, I can virtually guarantee that if I DID choose to engage in that sport, I would be decidedly more skilled than Mr. Cheney."

I think we can all agree that Cheney's gun worked.

Upland game is more dangerous than most hunting for the simple reason that the targets appear and move quickly and *much* sharper reactions are required than deer hunting. A deer hunter can keep his gun on safety, but upland you don't get the time to go off safety. Nor do you get the time to think much, so if you don't have that situational awareness you get accidents like this one. I have no data, but I'd suspect it's not one of the safer shooting sports. But it is one of the more scenic and active shooting sports, so it can be great way to spend a weekend.

But that's no excuse. He shouldn't have taken the shot, especially if Whittington was in a gully and in the sun as he said. If that was the case then the bird was far too low to be a safe target and Cheney wouldn't have had a good look at the target and its background. Actually, those two admissions alone should lessen anyone's opinion of Mr. Cheney's safety. Unlike Capt. Ed, I'll pass on hunting with him, thank you. He's just darn lucky Wittington was wearing shooter's glasses.

nerdbert said,

"I think we can all agree that Cheney's gun worked."

Dude, you seriously don't get it do you?

NEWSFLASH!!!

By John Kenney via the LA Times

VICE PRESIDENT Dick Cheney accidentally shot documentary filmmaker Michael Moore yesterday as Moore was walking out of a Manhattan Denny's.

A spokesperson for the vice president said that it was a "complete accident" and that Cheney felt "horrible." The White House released a statement saying that the shooting was "just bad timing. Vice President Cheney, who is well-versed in firearms safety, was merely sitting in a shrub, wearing camouflage, outside of a Denny's frequented by Mr. Moore." The statement went on to say that Cheney had been in the shrub for "several days." Moore is said to have suffered only minor injuries and was released from the hospital.

IN ANOTHER BIZARRE accident, Cheney mistakenly shot every Democratic member of the Senate Judiciary Committee. A White House spokesman said that the vice president feels "bad, but not that bad." An aide to Cheney said that the vice president "happened to be in the committee chambers, under a chair, when he stood up to put on a pair of chaps, accidentally shooting the committee members, stopping to reload three times." Remarkably, the committee members were largely unhurt and are expected to make complete recoveries.

THE WHITE HOUSE was put on the defensive again today when Air Force Two was forced to make an emergency landing 25 miles west of New York City after a loss of cabin pressure because of the accidental shooting of former FEMA Director Michael D. Brown and Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff. Both men have recently come under criticism for their handling of the federal response to Hurricane Katrina. Cheney was said to be "laughing, but also deeply concerned" when he was awoken from a nap after accidentally shooting the men at close range. Typically, shotguns are not allowed on either Air Force One or Two, but Cheney is, the statement said, "a seasoned hunter and also planned to accidentally shoot both men." Both Brown and Chertoff are expected to make complete recoveries, although it remains unclear as to why Brown was duct-taped to the wing of the plane.

A White House spokesman later added that the vice president had been on his way to New York City to accidentally shoot New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd.

SEN. HILLARY Rodham Clinton miraculously escaped injury today after Cheney accidentally ran up to her motorcade and accidentally shot at her car. The White House said the vice president "tripped."

"These things happen," a White House spokesman said. "Guns, while completely safe, are also dangerous."

A member of the vice president's staff said Cheney apologized to the former first lady and potential presidential candidate in a handwritten note.

"I'm sorry I almost shot you. But know that I will try again and will also be sorry then too. I like the sound a gun makes and the smell of the gunpowder. 'Flint' is a neat word. "

No, Doug, it's just too subtle for you. Think again. I said it worked, so what did he just do to his friend? And I said that he screwed up by taking the shot. What do I think of his actions? Another hint: I don't think highly of buggery. Finished? Or do you need more hints? (*sigh* sarcasm is so hard to convey in text. I can see why AC resorts to insults as it's easier.)

Nerdbert, In case you didn't notice, Doug suffers from HDS (Humor Deficiency Syndrome). He's got BDS too, but he'll recover sometime in 2009.

Nerdbert, I stand corrected... Maybe. Perhaps if you hadn't followed your comment with a lecture and gone on and on and on about upland game hunting being different than most other forms... yawn... of hunting in particular a deer hunter can keep his safety on and... Yawn... situational awareness or perhaps you can keep your safety... Yawn... on its dangerous... ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz...

...Maybe your joke would have been a bit less of a non-sequitur.

Of course, there's always the possibility that you really didn't get it, kermit explained it to you off line and now you're just covering your this latest explanation...

Of course, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and admit, yup... I guess it was too subtle - like detecting a fart in a hurricane.

As for insults, that's Kermits specialty - not AC's.

Hey, I resent that! Angryclown takes a back seat to no one when it comes to insults, certainly not that slow-witted wingnut Kermit.

See?

See? Unlike Doug, Angryclown does not suffer from HDS.

AC, Clearly you don't know the difference between an insult and the truth.

Calling Kermit a slow-witted wingnut is NOT an insult.

And calling Doug a shopping-cart jockey is a compliment.

Somebody's got to round up the carts after you're done filling 'em with soda cans, Kerm.

Listen to Hugh Hewitt make a complete ass out of himself...

http://movies.crooksandliars.com/02-15thomas.mp3