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November 30, 2005

Dark Hopelessness

My mailman - a goth who wears black eyeshadow and a black cape over his USPS uniform - tells me he's working on a play about the Black Hole of Calcutta, and linking it to the McCarthy investigations.

I walked to the corner store this morning to get a jug of milk and some cat food. The place was recently remodeled to look like a dungeon; the owner, who dabbles in existentialist criticism when not stocking the shelves with cigarettes and Twinkies, did it as a reponse to the inherent hopelessness of life.

I walked to the little pizzeria next door. The guy - a big, fat, jovial Polish guy from Wausau named Frank - has started making all-black pizzas - presumably via a combination of poppy seeds, eggplant and judicious scorching. He says he does it partly to match the all-black motif of his shop, "Miasma of Pizza", with its black walls, black floors, black uniforms and black light - and partly to match his mood. "These are depressing times", says Frank as he tosses a black crust (really move of a very dark gray), nearly losing it against the dark blackground.

This weekend I'm going to attend a play; it's basically a one-woman show about suicide. It's at the "All Suicide, All The Time" theatre on the West Bank, the most popular little off-Hennepin stage in town, where hordes of city-dwelling misanthropes gather to sip lattes and commiserate about...well, misery, as performers who've tired of the coffeeshop feminist poetry slam scene perform endless one-woman shows that, at the end of the day, are all basically the same - a consistency that is in fact the only comfort most of us take in the dank, miserable twilight of human existence. They say if hell didn't exist, man would have to invent it. Invent it, we have; all of human existence, today, qualifies.

Someone just drop the big one please.

------

This urban fantasy was brought to you by JB Doubtless who, curiously, dragged me into it for some reason:

the culture of Minneapolis is in so many ways so weird, so antagonistic to normal values [Speaking of "traditional values", was it in the Sermon on the Mount where Christ bade us to go forth and call the impaired "urine-caked drunks? I'm just curious. - Ed], so juvenile (save for experimental theatre--Mitch Berg loves the experimental theatre [Apparently JB is implying I'm depressive and suicidal? Or is he? - Ed](!)) that it is interesting once in a while to see what that culture produces...Enjoy that experimental theatre Mitch. That and listening to suicide songs in a bar are just another of the joys of city living that I guess I'm missing out on.
Hm. It's something I guess I miss out on, too. Go figger.

But what would I know? All I do is hold a job, raise a couple of kids, pay taxes and try to spread conservatism. I'm obviously no expert.

Posted by Mitch at November 30, 2005 12:36 PM | TrackBack
Comments

"...who, curiously, dragged me into it for some reason...."

It seemed to me to be in aid of his crusade against pop/rock music and in favor of C&W.

This seemed especially odd, since the (entirely justified) cliche of C&W* is the "my wife ran off with my best friend, my neighbor shot my dog, my truck done died, and here I am drinking myself insensible" blues.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

It does sort of undercut his point, though.

Posted by: Doug Sundseth at November 30, 2005 02:14 PM

C'mon Mitch, admit it. You own a beret.

Posted by: Kermit at November 30, 2005 02:41 PM

Compared to Goth and all of that bleak stuff, the blues (and by similarities C&W) can't be as dismal.

There's something fulfilling in the blues. In fact, the blues has some fun.

Painting yourself black and declaring the world to be terrible, our times troubling, and life pointless is absolutely NOT the blues. That's just too whiney.

Posted by: Badda-Blogger at November 30, 2005 02:58 PM

Sure fire cure for the 'Life Sucks And That's On A Good Day' approach to life: Become a conservative.
Worked for me.

Posted by: chriss at November 30, 2005 03:09 PM

"Sure fire cure for the 'Life Sucks And That's On A Good Day' approach to life: Become a conservative.Worked for me."

. . . because then all you have to do is pretend everything is OK and turn your back on society and ignore what is really happening.

Posted by: Fred Ziff at November 30, 2005 04:17 PM

Um, no. It's an understanding that there is no better time to be alive than today. It's an understanding that prior to July 3, 1776 every man and woman's destiny was determined by the station of their birth, and the US has been the single most positive force for the realization of human freedom and potential in the history of mankind.
Little stuff like that.
Makes me happy.

Posted by: chriss at November 30, 2005 04:31 PM

Every word by this fellow just reinforces my theory that Fraters is really a leftist, anti-Christian front working to undermine conservative values from within. Read his Patti Smith post; it's a scream.

Posted by: Tim at November 30, 2005 06:38 PM

Mitch,

What experimental theatre were you referring to on Saturday when you mentioned how much you enjoy it?

You know, another reason living in the city is so much better than the suburbs.

Posted by: jb doubtless at November 30, 2005 06:45 PM

. . . because then all you have to do is pretend everything is OK and turn your back on society and ignore what is really happening.
Posted by Fred Ziff at November 30, 2005 04:17 PM

No Fred, it means coming up with real-world solutions to problems instead of hoping some ineffectual government program can solve life's problems.
It means empowering people to create their own realies instead of buying into some scripted dependency created by some loser whose power depends on making people dependent.
It means actually being part of that society, instead of sitting around whining about how unfair the world is.
In other words, it means NOT being a liberal.

Posted by: Kermit at November 30, 2005 07:25 PM

"What experimental theatre were you referring to on Saturday when you mentioned how much you enjoy it?"

You mean you wrote that whole screed without having the faintest idea what I'm talking about?

Again?

"You know, another reason living in the city is so much better than the suburbs."

You're catching on.

Posted by: mitch at November 30, 2005 09:16 PM

I'm beginning to conclude that Mr. Doubtless is little more than a tiresome scold. I've lived in cities, suburbs, and the middle of nowhere, and there are aspects to applaud and aspects to regret regarding all three. So what? Debating which is best is about as enlightening as debating whether the color green is better than the color yellow.

Posted by: Will Allen at December 1, 2005 12:32 AM

Green is obviously better than yellow. It's yellow *plus blue*. Duh.

Posted by: angryclown at December 1, 2005 08:04 AM

Sooo....once again...

What is the experimental theatre you enjoyed so much Mitch? Place, time, content?

I doubt you actually have ever gone to any. Just more prevarications to look cool.

You're the one who mentioned it, I'm just trying to get clarification.


Posted by: JB Doubtless at December 1, 2005 08:19 AM

Angryclown went to a production of a Jean Genet play (on a date, obviously) where the seats were part of the stage and there was some dude on a leash, bare-ass naked except for a mask and a 2-foot prosthetic c*ck. Mitch should stay as far away from experimental theater as he can.

Posted by: angryclown at December 1, 2005 10:33 AM

Angryclown,

Mitch is much more of an urban sophisticate than you. He would have enjoyed such theatre and chalked it up to another one of the many advantages of living in the city.

I, like you, am too much of a rube to enjoy it, but Mitch...well he's just a notch above in the culture department I guess.

Posted by: JB Doubtless at December 1, 2005 10:43 AM

I will not countenance your disparagement of Mitch on this score, Mr. Doubtless! Mitch is completely wrong-headed on a number of issues, but apparently one or two fewer than you. Mitch is right about the suburbs and he's got good taste in music. Quoth Mr. Doubtless:

"I feel I must again let the writers and musicians of Minneapolis know that I DON'T WANT TO FEEL PAIN AND ALIENATION! I don't want to hear some depressed hipster pouring his soul out on stage. I don't want to hear songs about committing suicide or songs about being admitted to the nut house and no normal, well-adjusted, mature person would either."

Hey, can the Clown go with you to an "Up With People" concert, Mary Sunshine? Maybe then we can admire your collection of framed Norman Rockwell prints!

Posted by: angryclown at December 1, 2005 10:52 AM

Too much listening to Joy Division or PIL, dude...

Posted by: Greg at December 1, 2005 10:52 AM

Up With People!? Are they still performing?

Posted by: Kermit at December 1, 2005 11:23 AM

I prefer to stay home with my Pat Boone box set.

Posted by: JB Doubtless at December 1, 2005 11:32 AM

Mitch,

It worked. Leftists like you. (see Angryclown above).

"Yeah, that Mitch Berg he's DIFFERENT than those other conservatives."

This seems to be important to you for some reason.

Posted by: JB Doubtless at December 1, 2005 11:43 AM

Angryclown loves no man!

By the way, can you *prove* you have a Pat Boone box set, Mr. Doubtless? I think it's just a prevarication to make you look like a cultural boob to your conservative pals.

I also have a feeling that you secretly sing along to show tunes when Mrs. Doubtless is out of town.

"The sun'll come ooooouuuut tomorrowwww!!!!"

Posted by: angryclown at December 1, 2005 11:52 AM

Not a big fan of the show tunes Angry.

My Pat Boone and John Tesh records keep me quite happy.

Posted by: JB Doubtless at December 1, 2005 11:54 AM

"It worked. Leftists like you. (see Angryclown above)...This seems to be important to you for some reason."

Not in the least. I am what I am, and I don't give a shit what anyone, right or left, thinks about me. Love me, hate me, agree with me or not.

You seem to keep trying to infer a logical fallacy; Mitch appreciates art; most artists are liberals; ergo, Mitch is/sucks up to/secretly wants to be a liberal. Patent nonsense, and completely illogical.

I was raised by people who read books, criticized art, respected intellect. Kind of like those noted socialist jagoffs Jefferson, Franklin, Washington, Adams...

Intellectual thuggishness is the real socialist trait.

Posted by: mitch at December 1, 2005 07:50 PM

Well, that wasn't what I was expecting!

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