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November 09, 2005

Resistance Addict

A commenter in a thread yesterday about the election recapped a question that Brian "Saint Paul" Ward asked over the weekend - what's the big deal about living in the city?

I get the question a lot from conservative and Republican friends; the inner city is indeed a liberal cesspool, in many ways. Why don't you move to the 'burbs, Mitch?

Let me count the ways. Or, in classic Top Ten list form, let me count them down.

10. The Market - Like any good capitalist, I like a good deal for my money. I bought my house - an 1891 four-square in a very nice part of the Midway - for about half of what I'd have paid for the same square footage in, say, Eagan. As a good conservative, I like a great value for my housing dollar. In Saint Paul, I got it.

9. Centralization - If I were to move to Minnetonka, you can bet that my job would tank and my next gig would be in Woodbury. Living in the Midway - the center of the whole metro, in many ways - the changing job geography is less a problem.

8. Döner - Within four blocks of my house are three great Korean joints, an amazing Turkish cafe, a bodega, an Ethiopian hole in the wall, a place that serves a decent cup of coffee, a very cool record shop - all of them a five minute walk or a one-minute drive away. Given the choice between that and driving 20 minutes to get to Applebee's - well, it's really not a choice at all.

7. Suburban Schools Suck, Too - Look, I've checked 'em out. A nicer facility doesn't necessarily mean one's kids are getting a better education. Inner city schools have problems, many of which are amenable to being solved by pain-in-the-ass parents; other problems require more radical solutions than even suburban districts can handle.

6. Covenants - No, you may not specify what color I paint my property.

5. Suburbs Fill Me With a Soul-Crushing Ennui - I'm sorry - I know it's a liberal cliche, groaning about the mindless homogeneity of the 'burbs and exalting the urban thrum of the city - but for me it's true. So friggin' sue me...whoops, there's another of those suburban affectations!

4. Massive Passive Aggression - Twin Cities' burbs exalt the most obnoxious trait of the Scandinavian character; the passive-aggressive, passively-controlling, busybody neighborhood boss. Is your grass getting a little shaggy, there? Whose car is that in your driveway, huh? Hey, could yoiu water your azaleas a little more, so they match mine?

3. Criminals Are Breakable - I've had fewer crime problems in my house in the Midway than during any of my stays in the 'burbs. A concerted neighborhood response to crime usually does a lot of good. And a handgun or shotgun will fix any leakers. (It should go without saying that an urban gun ban would be pretty intolerable).

2. It's The Only Home My Kids Know, and It's Not A Bad One - Both my kids were born in St. Paul. The house we're in is the only one either of them remembers. One of my key values is providing my kids a home, not an escalating series of investment properties to park their stuff in. Someplace where they can develop their own sense of place - and have that place be more than some anonymous cul-de-sac. Where we're at is where that is, and I'm gonna make it work.

1. It's My City - It's where I've spent 17 of the last 20 years. If the forces of history are on conservatism's side, then certainly they favor me as well. I'm a patient guy - but nobody, nobody, pushes me out of my home. If it's me on the one side, and the entire Volvo-driving alpaca-wearing Saint Paul DFL on the other, one of us is leaving the fight on a slab. And I'm going to take a few of 'em with me in the process, at the very least. (Figuratively speaking).

Not saying it'll never happen; but if it ever happens, it'll be after a fight that leaves me too exhausted to prune my rhododendrons. Buck up, neighbors; you asked for it.

Posted by Mitch at November 9, 2005 12:20 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Hey Mitch, just FYI: there's a Applebees at Snelling and University, park in the ramp at Green Tree Square and they even validate.

Which reminds me - have you tried the Korean restaurants on Snelling? My wife and I went to the little one (the most southerly of the two, might be called Sole something) and everything was in Korean - the menus, the "daily special" card on the table, the works.

The staff rounded up a high school girl who spoke English to take our order and it was the weirdest stuff we ever saw or tasted.

But good. Different, but good.

So, have you ever eaten at the notherly one? How was it?

,

Posted by: nathan.bissonette at November 9, 2005 12:37 PM

Is there an uglier building in the whole world than the green bathroom-tile monstrosity on the South West corner of Snelling and University?
I've lived my whole life between Lexington and Cleveland. Our precinct went 788-96 for Coleman. Five of Kelly's votes were from my household. I'm not moving either.

Posted by: Joe Lais at November 9, 2005 01:17 PM

Yes, there is an uglier building. That tinfoil monstrosity on the east bank of the Mississippi at Washington.

Posted by: Kermit at November 9, 2005 01:28 PM


I grant you only the access to multiple Korean restautrants as an advantage to living in the inner city. (Unless, of course, you're in Korea, then you can find them in the suburbs too).

Now the question everyone wants to know - what is the best Korean restaurant on Snelling. Maybe a post on the merits of all 3 (Mirror of Korea, Shilla, and Sole) - now that would be some information we could all use (and quickly).

Posted by: Saint Paul at November 9, 2005 02:02 PM

I live in the city too and love it. I wonder though now that Mr. Coleman is my new mayor how long before the tax increases hit. And if they hit will my enthusiasm for Saint Paul will flag.

Posted by: PKO at November 9, 2005 02:10 PM

I live in the city too and love it. I wonder though now that Mr. Coleman is my new mayor how long before the tax increases hit. And if they hit will my enthusiasm for Saint Paul will flag.

Posted by: PKO at November 9, 2005 02:10 PM

C'mon guys! We have to have tax increases!

"Think-of-the-children!!!" (insert Hillary screech here).

How else would the kids get a $400,000 observatory, complete with telescope, classroom space and observation deck like they just got in Champlin?

http://www.mnsun.com/articles/2005/11/03/news/pw03observ.txt

Now, I'm a star observer nut, but c'mon.....don't tell me we don't have enough money!

Posted by: mrcheerordie at November 9, 2005 02:23 PM

"Which reminds me - have you tried the Korean restaurants on Snelling?"

Two out of three.

" My wife and I went to the little one (the most southerly of the two, might be called Sole something) and everything was in Korean - the menus, the "daily special" card on the table, the works."

I have not been to Sole, but I hear it's...well, different but good!

The northernmost, Mirror of Korea, is a little less weird - and it's always crowded with Koreans, which I take to be a good sign.

Posted by: mitch at November 9, 2005 02:58 PM

Mr. COD,

Yow. Well, they'd better spawn an astronaut or two.

$400,000? Ho-lee cow.

Posted by: meeyotch at November 9, 2005 03:00 PM

Saint,

"I grant you only the access to multiple Korean restautrants as an advantage to living in the inner city. "

Nice try, but there's nothing for you to grant here. My money, my kids, my revulsion at surrendering my property rights to busybody anal-retentive neighbors...my call!

On the other hand - the Korean restaurant review will be coming shortly.

Posted by: mitch at November 9, 2005 03:04 PM

Then there's the sense of history, of living somewhere that has a story. I understand the lure of starting fresh - if I landed a Powerball jackpot I would move far away and build my dream home in a hollowed-out ninja-proof volcano - but I like looking at an environment that arose over decades, not weeks.

Posted by: Lileks at November 9, 2005 04:10 PM

Me too. I just can't ever bring myself to live in a suburb. They're so...boring. I'm 25, a year from now I will live in a brand-new condo in Midtown Minneapolis. By my mid-30s I would like to be in a condo in one of the downtowns or around Lake Calhoun. A beige house in the suburbs that looks just like my neighbor's beige house just doesn't appeal to me the way a 15th floor condo in the Warehouse District does.

A friend of mine had a great line the other day when a friend of his from Burnsville invited us down for a party:

"Burnsville? Hell, if I'm going to go to Burnsville I may as well go all the way to Iowa. What's the difference?"

That's great!

Posted by: Kevin from Minneapolis at November 9, 2005 04:40 PM

I can understand the appeal of a hollowed out volcano, but why ninja-proof it? Have ninjas become more of a problem than I've heard? I keep up on my ninja periodicals pretty regularly (the Ninja Blade-Sentinel is a must-read) and my understanding is that the ninja threat has remained fairly low, with a slight spike during the 80s ninja movie craze. Personally, I'd opt for energy-efficient appliances, and maybe a chain-gun to adequately deal with any latent ninja threat.

Posted by: Ryan at November 9, 2005 04:55 PM

I agree with all 10 of your reasons, Mitch. All very good, 'specially the busy-bodies and covenants...I can't IMAGINE anyone telling me what to do with my own property! Who would ever live where you would have to listen to any of that?! (My in-laws are the exact Scandinavian passive-aggressives you're talking about...annoying!). I live in a rural area, which is nice-you're certainly left alone, but the thought of being close to all those good, different food choices makes me very envious!! The cafes (and that's all we have) are so bad...nothing but frozen crap dumped out of a bag into a deep fryer...it's very, very depressing.

Posted by: Colleen at November 9, 2005 05:06 PM

James,

"Then there's the sense of history, of living somewhere that has a story...I like looking at an environment that arose over decades, not weeks."

Exactly. And after a decade and change in the same house, and nearly two decades in the 'hood (with a few interruptions), it's interesting being part of that environment.

Posted by: mitch at November 9, 2005 05:28 PM

So ... are you saying, then, that if you had to live in a boring suburb with association clauses and passive-aggressive Swedish busybody neighbors and boring chain restaurants, it might drive you berkers enough to become a raving liberal again?

If so, we so need to find you a nice, quiet place in Woodbury or Apple Valley.

Posted by: Bill Haverberg at November 9, 2005 06:47 PM

Mr. Berg:

It has been quite a while since I have read your blog. However, as someone who lived in Korea for 18 months, I feel compelled to point you away from what I can only presume to be the 3 Korean joints over on Snelling.

Do not waste your time on these places. While Korean cuisine is the greatest cuisine known to man (Kimchi forever), these 3 places are not all that good.

If you would really like to experience good Korean, please drive out to Kings Buffet in Fridley.

The bulgogi is sublime, the kalbi is amazing and the bibimbap is served in a dolsot. They serve a huge amount of panchan (side dishes), they have a sushi bar and the noraebang (kereoke) kills on Saturday nights.

Plus the market attached to Kings is the best Korean market in the Twin Cities.

cp

Posted by: cleversponge at November 9, 2005 08:24 PM

plus, as residents of the 5 & 8/fat lorenzo's neighboorhood in mpls, we agree with your assessment of city life. we wouldn't live in the burbs for anything. hell, we live under a runway...we have to love where we live.

cp

Posted by: cleversponge at November 9, 2005 08:30 PM

To each his own. I've done city, suburb and country and I'll take country every time. We don't have covenants; I did that in Palm Beach in FL. Imagine angryclown as a member of your association. Then imagine 50 of them attacking everything in sight. It wasn't pretty.

As to the lack of Korean, the neighbors are far enough away that nobody cares if you go hunting in your back yard or in theirs if you warn them. So instead of Korean I've got duck, goose, pheasant, and venison and I won't trade you for that.

You can take the hustle and bustle of the city if that pleases you, but after a hard day I prefer a walk through my woods with my dog.

Posted by: nerdbert at November 9, 2005 09:25 PM

Ryan: anyone who lives in a hollowed-out volcano who does NOT ninja-proof the place has not learned the lessons of "You Only Live Twice."

Boy, if ever we needed a comment from that Blofeld chap, it's now.

Posted by: Lileks at November 9, 2005 10:00 PM

In my experience, retractible domes can't repel marauding ninja forces for shit.

This is a real problem.

From the Wikipedia article on ninjas:
"I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town."

Further reading:
http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

Posted by: Ernst Stavro Blofeld at November 10, 2005 01:44 AM

So I gather from the ultimate ninja site that they are now congregating in Christian enclaves in Indonesia....

Posted by: Elizabeth at November 10, 2005 06:57 AM

My age and lack of James Bond knowledge is showing.

*zipping up pants*

Posted by: Ryan at November 10, 2005 08:33 AM

I call straw man Mitch.

This whole "Busybodies telling me what I should do with my lawn" nonsense is a load.

Let me see if I have this right: You will WILLINGLY submit yourself and your family to a socialist inner-city GOVERNMENT (with all of its attendant powers) that wants to tell you how to do absolutely everyting in your life before you would go to the suburbs where there MIGHT be an INDIVIDUAL PERSON who might gossip about you to the neighbors?

Please!

I'm afraid you suffer from the "Not from the Twin Cities" syndrome that affects residents who moved here from Wisconsin or No Dak or Iowa. They believe the leftist cliches about the suburbs (they are soul-less, history-less, uncool, not enough fans of The New York Dolls, etc.) and want to find some kind of authentic life in the city that you couldn't find in No Dak or Iowa.

It's frankly juvenile and tiresome. Lileks had a great line a few years ago in his Bleat about a misunderstood writer coming to the Big City and weeping hot tears into his typewriter as he attempted to tell the Truth About Middle America.

I grew up in the western suburbs and there was history everywhere. The Excelsior amusement park, the hotels of the '20s that used to dot lake Minnetonka. There's more soul out there in one square mile than there is in the entire God-rorsaken inner cities of MPLS or ST PAUL.

The only reasonable excuse for living in the city is cheap housing. That's it. The rest of the arguments are bunk and clear rationalizations.

And I don't ever want to hear you bitching about high taxes or crime when you WILLINGLY sign up for high amounts of both.

Posted by: JB Doubtless at November 10, 2005 09:50 AM

James,
Your desire for a neighborhood with history argues very strongly against ever moving to Arizona. Having recently returned to MN from a 3 year (or was it 30 year?) stint in Tucson I can say: don't do it! The best I can say is that it was good practice for when I'm in Hell.
Plus, living in AZ you'd never be able to afford the water bill for your water feature. Oops, sorry.

Posted by: chriss at November 10, 2005 10:25 AM

Tucson has so much history it is oozing out its sun-baked streets. http://www.tucsonweekly.com/tw/bot/out5.htm

Although I agree about the water feature. Growing up in Tucson, we learned that a good way to raise Dad's ire was to leave the faucet running while you brushed your teeth.

Posted by: Elizabeth at November 10, 2005 11:58 AM

"I call straw man Mitch."

There's a shock.

"This whole "Busybodies telling me what I should do with my lawn" nonsense is a load."

See "Covenant".

"Let me see if I have this right: You will WILLINGLY submit yourself and your family to a socialist inner-city GOVERNMENT..."

Sorry, let me make some room in my mouth for you to cram more words into.

Bullshirt, JB. Who said anything about "willingly submit?" I'm a conservative Republican. I'm active in city politics.

And it's a good thing, because as much as the MNGOP wishes it weren't so, the MNGOP NEEDS to start making a better showing in the inner city if it ever hopes to spike the ball in the endzone.

"(with all of its attendant powers) that wants to tell you how to do absolutely everyting in your life before you would go to the suburbs where there MIGHT be an INDIVIDUAL PERSON who might gossip about you to the neighbors?"

Rubbish, JB, and you know it. Or, scarily, maybe you don't.

Ever driven through Lakeville or Inver Grove Bites or Eden Prairie, and wondered why EVERY FECKING HOUSE is tan or off-white or gray? Why EVERY DADGUMMED LAWN is exactly the same? Why NOT A SINGLE HOUSE has a tree in the front yard? Because the communities - developments and/or cities - exact and enforce covenants regulating what you can do with your property and how - rules that are, on a residential level, every bit as onerous as city laws.

"I'm afraid you suffer from the "Not from the Twin Cities" syndrome that affects residents who moved here from Wisconsin or No Dak or Iowa."

JB, I moved here twenty years ago. I was living here back when you were still calling your mother a fascist Trotskyite for not letting you use the car. If I ever had such a "syndrome", it's long gone.

And irrelevant. I grew up in a real small town - lived in one for 22 years, in fact. If I wanted to live in a small town, I'd pick a *real* one, not a bogus facsimile.

"They believe the leftist cliches about the suburbs (they are soul-less, history-less, uncool, not enough fans of The New York Dolls, etc.)"

Wow. I've never had an entire character exposition written about me before. I'd almost like to read the novel.

I said "Novel", not "biography".

(Doh, sorry, JB. I forgot - some novels are written by socialists, so I don't imagine you've ever read one. Right?)

" and want to find some kind of authentic life in the city that you couldn't find in No Dak or Iowa."

Er, no, JB. Just a life I enjoy. Which I have, much as that seems to gall you.

"It's frankly juvenile and tiresome."

Unlike - to pull an example out of a hat - cramming someone's motivations, lock stock and kicking legs, into the same template of facile stereotypes you seem to apply to every other facet of life. I'd love to hear how my love of Mediterranean food makes me a socialist sympathizer, JB. Or how my love of classical music bespeaks hidden Maoist tendencies.

Then, I'd love to hear you connect it with the fact that I *am more conservative than you*.

" Lileks had a great line a few years ago in his Bleat about a misunderstood writer coming to the Big City and weeping hot tears into his typewriter as he attempted to tell the Truth About Middle America."

Um, and I do that precisely where?

No, really. Gimme an example.

"I grew up in the western suburbs and there was history everywhere. The Excelsior amusement park, the hotels of the '20s that used to dot lake Minnetonka."

No. There is not. There IS history - never said there wasn't, and some of it is fascinating, and odds are pretty good I know more of it than you do anyway. But there IS more here, and it's damn interesting.

"There's more soul out there in one square mile than there is in the entire God-rorsaken inner cities of MPLS or ST PAUL."

That's just juvenile.

"The only reasonable excuse for living in the city is cheap housing. That's it. The rest of the arguments are bunk and clear rationalizations."

Wrong again. In fact, JB, when discussing my motivations, you're pretty much 0 for "n", where "n" equals "every time you've tried it".

I'm *the head of my family*, JB. I live in a *great* neighborhood. I *love* the quality of life.

I don't love the government. But does that mean I should turn tail and run like some gutless Frenchman? Hell no! Unlike, apparently, JB, I'm one of the people you can count on to fight the tough fight.

On December 8, 1941, when Josiah Bennett Doubtless was looking for real estate in Canada ("the ONLY rationalization for living in the US is cheap whiskey, and I don't care what else you say!"), Jedediah Berg was strapping on his '03 Springfield and setting his eyes westward, looking to fight the big fight. Just as I do today. Chris Coleman? Pffffft. Bring him on.

"And I don't ever want to hear you bitching about high taxes or crime when you WILLINGLY sign up for high amounts of both."

Ah. So what is it about living in the city that revokes both my right to lobby my representatives, to say nothing of the First Amendment?

Posted by: mitch at November 10, 2005 12:54 PM

JB must have gotten laughed at by a black guy once.

Posted by: Tom Terriffic at November 10, 2005 01:37 PM

JB, you live in Minnesota, right? High-tax, leans strongly to the left?

Doesn't this make you a total hypocrite?

Posted by: Allison at November 10, 2005 02:25 PM

Wow, I've never been Fisked in a comments section. That was kind of cool.

Bottom line Mitch is the city is cesspool of socialists, criminals, pyschopaths, the dispossessed, the lost and dang near any other negative description you can think of.

Subjecting yourself and your family to this pathology does not make you some brave new frontiersman that should be looked up to.

It makes you foolish. But, hey what's shitty public schools, crime, or socialist government policies that YOU CAN'T CHANGE when YOU can get kimchi 24/7?

We all have our priorities. I guess.


Posted by: JB Doubtless at November 10, 2005 05:43 PM

JB. I've been reading your stuff for a long time. And I have to say that if someone like you had been around when I was still a mushyheaded liberal, I'd have ended up a mushyheaded liberal. You seem to view everything through this joyless, know-nothing, knee-jerk, always-politicized lens that is terribly immature, and that has got to be depressing after a while.

You are the exact opposite of the people who brought me to the right, Ronald Reagan and PJ O'Rourke and Linda Chavez and people like that.

Please change to a hobby that doesn't involve writing, before you piss the whole world off at conservatives.

Linda

Posted by: Linda Zamora at November 10, 2005 05:56 PM

Ahem, Allison?

The men are talking.

Thanks.

Posted by: JB Doubtless at November 10, 2005 05:56 PM

JB,

Hey, answer Allison's question!

Also:

"Subjecting yourself and your family to this pathology..."

I love it when people who have no concept of how to raise kids try to invoke "family" with someone whose life it is.

Come back when you have a couple of kids. Then you might have a right to comment on my family and the decisions I make for it.

Linda,

Oh, that's gonna get ugly.

Posted by: mitch at November 10, 2005 06:02 PM

"Bottom line Mitch is the city is cesspool of socialists, criminals, pyschopaths, the dispossessed, the lost and dang near any other negative description you can think of."

Nice stereotyping! This is the kind of lazy rhetoric that you'd (righfully) call out a liberal for in a NY minute.

I'm sure its all those criminals and socialists who are snatching up the $400K+ condos in both cities. Useless urban stuff like 170,000 jobs in downtown Minneapolis at places like law firms, banks, and accounting firms (yes some are government jobs but not most by any means). People walking to work and stores so the don't have to engage in a highly regulated, economically negative (from an individual standpoint) activity like driving. What a socialist hellhole.

Posted by: Nick at November 10, 2005 06:05 PM

I'm a fan of JB, he's a doozy. I only wish Fraters would allow him to post more. And what's the deal with that Atom guy? He posts about once a year; the Gummo Marx of Fraters.

Posted by: Tim at November 10, 2005 08:21 PM

Elizabeth, yes the streets of Tucson are oozing with history. The Old Pueblo is one of the oldest continuously settled cities in North America. I just was never able to enjoy it through the choking dust. I love the idea of the old southwest, it's why I moved there in the first place. However, on a day to day level what you get is an ugly downtown and surrounded by rapidly radiating tendrils of identical tract housing. Phoenix is 10x worse.
I love AZ... above about 6000' elevation ;)
I'll take MN -- suburb, farm, 'hood I don't care -- any day, including that -25 day in Feb.

Posted by: chriss at November 10, 2005 10:22 PM

Hey Linda, the knitting circle blog is one door down.

Thanks sweetie.

Now where was I?...So let me get this straight, you guys think the inner cities of MPLS and ST. PAUL are wonderful, free, open places that a normal conservative can live? Do I have that right?

The talk of how many jobs MPLS has mean nothing. How many of those people live there? And how many of them are clueless libs or go-along-to-get-along MOR putzes?

Sorry guys, but a conservative who has a sack in MPLS or ST. PAUL is continually going to fight an uphill, stacked deck battle against a raging orthodoxy of leftism and secular humanism. That's just the way it is. Believe me, I wish it wasn't. Why put yourself through that? Life is WAY too short.

This BS about having access to Ethiopian restaurants ("Try the Yak, it's wonderful!") or prevarications about "Public schools being just as bad in the suburbs" are a mere fantasy created by people to rationalize their personal decisions.

Cheap houses. THAT I can understand. The rest is crap.

Posted by: JB Doubtless at November 10, 2005 10:54 PM

JB: You're just bitter at the city of St. Paul because the Science Museum evicted you from the cro-mag display. Seriously, man: dragging women by their hair is declasse now.

Posted by: Ernst Stavro Blofeld at November 11, 2005 01:16 AM

Ethiopians don't eat yak-- it's too costly to transport it the 4,753 miles from Ulan Bator to Addis Ababa. They prefer live meat-- not raw, mind you, but live, as in carved from the breathing beast. Perhaps pulsating yak meat on injara bread would be the ultimate "fusion" cuisine. But the communist health code here in St Paul would no doubt prohibit it. Better to open "Ulan Ababa" in Woodbury.

Suburban schools are indeed safe, clean, white-- and thoroughly effeminate. I challenge JB to name one in any Twin Cities suburb that could get its graduates into the University of Georgia. Under the 1905 admissions criteria, that is. One charter up the street from me might get them into a 1905 junior high.

Posted by: Reg Cæsar at November 11, 2005 02:35 AM

JB, if you're an example of the keen intellect and reasoning suburban schools produce, I may drive my kids in to the city or out to a one-room school somewhere by Mille Lacs.

Seriously, as a suburb native, resident, and conservative, I beg you to please shut up. You're an embarassment. And kind of an asshole.

Posted by: Geoff at November 11, 2005 07:42 AM

Ernst, geuss I didn't get that memo.

Reg, I think all public schools are awash in leftist claptrap and would never send one of my kids there, so you won't find me defending ANY public school anywhere.

But, they are superior to their neighbors in the inner city. Is that even debatable? Apparently it is.

Posted by: JB Doubtless at November 11, 2005 07:42 AM

*J*B = knee jerk blathering.

*P*B = knee jerk blathering.

I'm seeing a pattern here.

Posted by: Kevin at November 11, 2005 07:46 AM

Well, if we let these threads be about PB and JB and their blathering, "they win".

Where were we? Oh, right, city vs soulless suburb. I was pretty fortunate growing up in Richfield; I know the inner ring suburbs will never be as exciting or dynamic as living in the city, but there was a nice sense of balance there. You had a bit of everything, even some undeveloped areas (woodlake, legion lake, some empty lots) where kids could do kid stuff. But you still had a certain sense of comfort as well.

Posted by: Bill Haverberg at November 11, 2005 08:06 AM

"I think all public schools are awash in leftist claptrap and would never send one of my kids there"

The funny part, JB, is that you think you have a better option.

Posted by: mitch at November 11, 2005 08:13 AM

I think confusing 'suburb' with 'subdivision' may be part of the problem. I also wonder "who lives in those places?" when I drive by some of the more egregious examples of mass housing. Although all of those tract homes are in the suburbs, not all places in the suburbs are tract homes. I cetainly wouldn't have traded my little Mpls. Tudor for one of those, even at half the price, but I moved from the 48th & Park Ave. area of Mpls. to Chanhassen about a year ago. I wanted more space, up from 1600 sq. ft. to 3500, and as much as I would have loved to stay in Mpls. (under the flight pattern), I didn't have the kind of money it would have taken to do so. I miss the restaurants, the proximity to everything and a number of other features of the city, but I've happily traded it for more space (in a prairie-style house which looks nothing like anything else in the neighborhood) with no airplane noise, no covenants, no sirens in the night, and neighbors who look out for my place and sign for deliveries if I'm away. I'm really starting to like it out here...

Not unlike your Korean joint -- it's different, but good!

Dirk

Posted by: Dirk at November 11, 2005 10:13 AM

Dirk,

I need to make something clear, here; in JB's world, a thing is either dark black or light white. I have nothing against the 'burbs or people who live in them. Stereotypes are for other people (as much fun as I have using them when they are fun for me!)

Cool thing about my little St. Paul neighborhood - my neighbors sign for deliveries and watch my place (I have some incredible busybodies for neighbors, actually) and all of that, too. Which may not fit JB's stereotype - apparently they're really KBG spies - but it works for me.

Posted by: mitch at November 11, 2005 10:17 AM

'Burbs boy here.

All the houses close to me are different. Different eras, looks, builders, layouts, whatever.

Lots are big. We have woods. This is good.

Covenants? Never seen 'em. In any burb I've been in.

Intrusive, overbearing neighbors? No, Chris Coleman lives elsewhere. You have a good time with him, though, hear?

Ever read how locusts are really just grasshoppers packed too tight? That's how I see your city. Too tight.

And I can drive to your same restaurants in 30 minutes. And then leave the city when I'm full. I see your restaurants like my parents see my kids. Fun to visit, but then you get to leave, so they're twice as good.

Posted by: bobby_b at November 11, 2005 01:00 PM

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

I think everyone is getting far away from the main issue here. That issue is... as cleversponge clearly stated above...

The BEST Korean food in the Twin Cities is like five minutes from my house! Cool!

Posted by: Doug at November 11, 2005 01:26 PM

Doug, Sponge,

The main criteria for "best" is "Does Mitch Love It".

Posted by: mitch at November 11, 2005 01:39 PM

Fair enough. 2 of the places are decent. The Mirror of Korea is terrible. There is only one other really good Korean place in town (besides Kings). Hoban in Eagan is pretty good.

However, if you are going to spring for a tasty Korean meal, Kings can't be beat.

Doug, if you go to Kings, you should see if they have any Soju. Soju is Korean rice wine. In Korea, it isn't heavily regulated. Therefore, you can have some cases where you'll drink a gallon and feel nothing...other times you'll drink a half a glass and it's lights out.

Unfortunately, it's rather tasteless and its primary use is in the ever-popular GI tasty treat, the Ammo Bowl.

The Ammo Bowl is simply a large salad bowl filled with kool aid and large quantities of soju. You get about 10-15 straws and...well, the rest is simple.

The Ammo Bowl is the 2nd craziest GI liquor treat in Korea. The craziest is the snake shot. We don't really know what goes into it, but there is a dead snake in the bottom of the bottle and you get a t-shirt for drinking it.

We have 2 shirts. We estimate each shot cost about a billion brain cells.

If you go to Kings, try the kalbi (sometimes spelled galbi). Fried Korean ribs. You really can't beat this.

cp

Posted by: cleversponge at November 11, 2005 02:26 PM

An important question not addressed here is, what do your children need to be driven to? The best answer is: Nothing. Ever. Period. (Unless they're bleeding or unconscious, that is.)

I grew up in a town the size of Stillwater or Northfield, indeed, with two colleges just like Northfield. We walked or pedalled everywhere. (Even to the dentist. My mom was strict about this.)

St Paul is like my hometown writ large, physically if not demographically. Except for the cores of certain swallowed-up once-independent towns like White Bear Lake and Hopkins, the "subdivisions" and "developments" ringing the Cities are completely alien to me. And never more so then when my co-workers talk about "having to" drive their kids to this place or that.

Posted by: Reg Cæsar at November 11, 2005 02:30 PM

Mitch and sponge are formally invited to dine with me at King's in Fridley sometime. My treat. Let's settle this crucial "best Korean food in the area" question as a service to all humanity.

Posted by: Doug at November 11, 2005 03:48 PM

Doug: Be sure to get some poodle to go for JB.

Posted by: Ernst Stavro Blofeld at November 11, 2005 05:28 PM

I'm in.

Posted by: mitch at November 11, 2005 07:29 PM

cleversponge: thanks for the tip about King's. We will try it. Hoban is the best we've been to in the Twin Cities -- the Korean restaurants on Snelling are overrated.

Some of the best ethnic restaurants here are in suburban strip malls. Nonetheless, I'm a cityphile.

Posted by: Eloise at November 11, 2005 07:43 PM

Doug, we're in too. Just email us with details. Eloise, glad to help out with the recommendation. We think Korean cuisine is the most underrated foreign cuisine of all. We hope you enjoy Kings if and when you go.

ESB...as for the poodle thing, while dog is pretty much verbotten in Korea anymore, we did have to try gaekogi (dog meat) while we were stationed there...just to say we did it. Not too many places serve it anymore. It is considered "backwoods" and the closest thing I can compare it to here in the US is to possum. Sure some folks still eat it, but it's only the really...well, let's just say that Korea has a deep south as well (complete with a really slow drawl).

Our dog platter started out by us having to pick the animal we wanted to eat. We got to pick from about 10 different mutts. We chose the one with the least amount of fur.

Within an hour, we got our meal.

Not. Good.

We ate many questionable things in Korea. If you have ever been there, you know about the open markets full of fresh catches of squid and other slimy meats. We tried many an objectionable smelling meat while we were stationed in Korea. None were worse than the dog we ate.

Very, very bad.

Worse than 3 day old squid in 100 degree heat bad.

cp

Posted by: cleversponge at November 11, 2005 10:19 PM

Possum is very underrated.

Tastes like prairie dog.

Posted by: mitch at November 12, 2005 08:35 AM

Funny & interesting post, cleversponge. My theory on what something will taste like is the repellancy quotient of the animal's "scat". Cow manure isn't all that bad, horse seems OK...pig in very moderate amounts...not too bad...but you get dog crap and see what I mean? Imagine being a cannibal...

Posted by: Colleen at November 12, 2005 08:49 AM

Possum is indeed bad. As far as fine backwoods cuisine goes, it is just above racoon and right below squirrel. Of course, the ratings automatically improve if your catch is procured by a Buick rather than a rifle. Rubber and chrome are natural meat tenderizers.

cp

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