Another Pleasant Valley Sunday

Been feeling a tad under the weather, and way too busy.

And what's better for that than another meme, via Red, Kathy and the Butchers?

This time it's "The Average American".

Statistically, the following are things associated with the "Average American":

• Eats peanut butter at least once a week - that one's totally feast or famine; I won't touch it for months, then burn through a bottle in a week.
• Prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky - You will eat whatever kind of peanut butter I put in front of you! No, I guess there are times when I'm in the mood for smoove, but chunky is still the best.
• Can name all Three Stooges - Ted, Harry and Nancy.

  OK, really? Moe, Larry, Shemp, Joe, Curly, Curly Joe.

• Lives within a 20-minute drive of a Wal-Mart - Thanks to the Waltons' inspired scavenging - gobbling up a failed K-Mart on University - if I stand on the gas I can get to my Walmart in under two minutes.
• Eats at McDonald’s at least once a year - Although it increasingly grosses me out, yes, I do.
• Takes a shower for approximately 10.4 minutes a day - TEN MINUTES? What are you people - made of spare time? Holy cow.
• Never sings in the showerI constantly sing in the shower. As Red says,

  ...it's well known that EVERYBODY sounds like Celine Dion or Bono in the shower.

  Outside the shower, I'm doing well to do a good Johnny Rotten. In the shower, I can carry off Robert Plant flawlessly.
• Lives in a house, not an apartment or condominium - Check.
• Has a home valued between $100,000 and $300,000 - Thanks to the Twin Cities housing boom, yes.
• Has fired a gun - Many, many guns. My favorites: The M-1 Garand, the Ljungmann (a WWII-era Swedish army rifle), a match-grade M-1911A1, an H&K HK91, and, one memorable afternoon, an M3 Grease Gun. I'm way overdue for another trip to the range.
• Is between 5 feet and 6 feet tall- I'm 6'5.
• Weighs 135 to 205 pounds - I'm a bit over that.
• Is between the ages of 18 and 53 - For another 11 years or so.
• Believes gambling is an acceptable entertainment option - Occasional flukes aside, I just don't "get" gambling. Tossing perfectly good money away? Why not just douse it in airplane glue and burn it - it looks cooler! Of course, my exception during the '80's was the horse track, when I was producing Sports Talk out at Canterbury Downs. I had a system where I never came back less than three for two, usually two for one. I also never staked more than $20, because I never had more than $20...
• Grew up within 50 miles of current home - More like 350.