Carlin?

I haven't liked George Carlin in decades. Coincidentally, he hasn't been funny in decades.

So when a friend sent me this bit - George Carlin on New Orleans - I thought "Cool! The dyspeptic old misanthrope is finally pulling his head out!:

Been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about
the bullshit going on in New Orleans. For the people of New
Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that
said, Let's go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake,
we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that...Get the hell out.
Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't
said anything, I can see the argument. They said get out... if you
didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even
if you don't have a car,
you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables.
If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're
starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some.
(Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them
alone.)

#2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your
neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See #2a) They worked hard to get
their stuff.
Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory
evacuation,
doesn't give you the right to take their stuff...it's theirs, not
yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then
complain
no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass
who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your
belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If
someone does want them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die
in the filth. Just leave! (It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior
and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house,
a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't
go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build
your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level,
do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al
Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the
Hurricane as a way to eradicate the black people of New Orleans;
(Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government
didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been
coming
out of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This
is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work
for what you want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a
damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working
for a living. President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your
country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

I only wish it had been Carlin. In fact, on Carlin's website, he says:

Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.

And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high.

Oh, George. George.

I've seen you in recent years. If those are your high standards, maybe you should start trolling material off the 'net.

Bummer.

Posted by Mitch at October 19, 2005 07:04 AM | TrackBack