September 21, 2005

Rule Of Law

I was thinking as I wrote the "Berg's Second Law" post this morning that in the past 3.5 years of doing this blog I have actually contributed a few laws to the world's canon.

I should make sure everyone is aware of them.

Berg's First Law of Liberal Iraq Commentary - "No liberal commentator is capable of addressing more than one of the President's justifications for the War in Iraq at a time; to do so would introduce a context in which their argument can not survive"

Berg's Corollary to Bissonnette's Law - (Whenever someone introduces an "Old West" analogy into a discussion on civilian firearms ownership, the person can be presumed to be covering for absolute ignorance on the subject). Corollary: Whenever anyone says "people who favor guns are compensating for something, ifyaknowwhatImean", know what they mean only in the most academic possible sense.

Berg's Third Law of Human Resilience - After any disaster whenever government and the media declare "there can not be any more survivors, and this is now a recovery operation", they will be wrong.

Berg's Fourth Law of Media/Sports Inversion - The Vikings will be contenders until the moment the local media actually believes they will be contenders. At that moment - be it pre-season or Week 12 - the season will fall irredeemably apart.

Berg's Fifth Law of Historical Illteracy - 99% of the invocations of Godwin's Law are done by 1% of the online population. Corollary: That 1% understands .000001% of the history required for a literate invocation of Godwin's Law.

Berg's Sixth Law of writing a Blog in a city full of people with dubious senses of Humor - To every joke, there is an equal and opposite inapproriately petulant reaction.

What laws have you contributed? Huh? Huh?

No, I mean, leave 'em in the comments. Seriously

Posted by Mitch at September 21, 2005 12:26 PM | TrackBack

I'm game...

Reding's First Law Of Public Policy: All public policies have unintended negative consequences. The more noble the basis for the public policy is made out to be, the worse the consequences will be.

For example, a law to make everyone happy would probably involve dosing everyone with massive amounts of Prozac in the water supply...

Posted by: Jay Reding at September 21, 2005 01:01 PM

>Corollary: Whenever anyone says "people who favor guns are compensating for
>something, ifyaknowwhatImean", know what they mean only in the most academic
>possible sense.

Three names, four people. You should know most if not all of them. I'm not sure about the last, I hope to God he doesn't.

As for laws...I guess I could get snarky and say that the other 999,999 monkeys write blogs. A serious law would be that if you pity yourself, you will learn to hate yourself, and that leads to hating others.

Posted by: Bill Haverberg at September 21, 2005 01:21 PM

Gregg's Proviso regarding the threat of theocracy: Only those who have lived in the Saudi occupied territories or Iran may credibly accuse anyone in a hitherto secular state of advocating theocracy.

Posted by: Gregg the obscure at September 21, 2005 02:10 PM

Jay: As it is written, so shall it be enforced.

Bill: You can pick out really flaky examples of *every* subgroup (and I know you picked two very flaky ones there, indeed, among shooters - and I don't know the other one, but will take your word for it - and their respective firearms habits were tied into a lot of other personal issues). But I'm talking about the *presumption* that owning a firearm is a sign of a psychological problem. There's a huge difference.

Obscure Gregg: As it is written. so shall it be entered into law. Allahu Akbar.

Posted by: mitch at September 21, 2005 02:25 PM

Well, it's not mine, but it deserves wider recognition:

Cole's law -- finely sliced cabbage.

Posted by: Doug Sundseth at September 21, 2005 02:35 PM

So doesn't it creep you out that I knew four exceedingly flaky, overcompensating gun owners when my involvement with the Church of the Second Amendment is only peripherial at best?

God knows, most are decent, sane folk but I'm not terribly impressed with the proportionality of my personal experience, even though its not out of the question that I could someday own and shoot a gun myself for recreation. I'm not out there to take away anyone's guns or right to sell them (except for the scum lowlifes that sell cheap handguns by the case out of the back of a station wagon).

I would definately say my knowledge is NOT academic, not in the least! And that is what your law stated.

Posted by: Bill Haverberg at September 21, 2005 02:54 PM


"So doesn't it creep you out that I knew four exceedingly flaky, overcompensating gun owners when my involvement with the Church of the Second Amendment is only peripherial at best?"

I'll answer that with a question: Where did you meet each of them?

I rest my case (unless PB wants to pick it up from here ;-)

Posted by: mitch at September 21, 2005 04:45 PM

Beltt's Tenth Law of Political Debate:

The full extent of a leftist's understanding of any logical fallacy is it's latin name.

Posted by: Eric Beltt at September 21, 2005 06:08 PM

marcus aurelius first rule of writing a smoking ban post.

There are 50,000 variations available......though the average reader, unless personally affected.....stops reading after the first ten.

I'm ok with that though, it doesn't really bother me ........much.........anymore.......not like it used to......sometimes it gets kinda lonely........only being able to write in terms of smoking ban material......nobody understands..........nobody's really ok though......cuz.....gosh darn it, I'm good enough......and people like......Crap I've turned into Franken weenie.....sigh

Posted by: marcus aurelius at September 21, 2005 08:49 PM

I introduced this law during usenet days. Dunno if it's still true:

More than half of all URLs posted on usenet are corrections to URL' previously posted...usually by the same poster.

Posted by: Brian Jones at September 21, 2005 09:52 PM

The universal law of political discussion:

Those who claim loudest that they have been misunderstood usually possess an equal or greater measure of aversion to understanding others.

Posted by: Teena at September 22, 2005 08:36 AM

Kouba's Law of Art - Art is anything I can't do.

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