Shot In The Dark: Bar Tricks

August 02, 2005

Bar Tricks

Back when I worked in bars, I noticed a certain phenomenon: around last call, there was a phenomenal number of former SEALs, CIA operatives and undercover cops at the bar.

Every schlub staggering around, hammered out of his gourd, would walk up to you; "Back when I wazh in the CORR - that's Marine Corps, y'know..."

And so I took to giving a subtle little quiz; it went a little like this:

DRUNK: "I wush in the SEALs!"

MITCH: "Yeah? Cool! What was your rate and rating?"

DRUNK: [Deer in headlights look] "Er, my rate was tops, and I had very high ratings".

Which of course meant that he was lying - in the Navy, Rate and Rating mean "Rank" and "Specialty".

Alternate approach:

DRUNK: "I wazh in the MAREEN Corps".

MITCH: "Cool. What was the Sixth General Order?"

DRUNK: "I gotta go get a drink".

In a lifetime of knowing former Marines, I have yet to meet any Marine, serving or former, who couldn't rattle off all eleven General Orders from memory (and yes, I did memorize #6, purely to trip up imposters: "To recieve, obey, and pass on to the sentry who relieves me, all orders from the Commanding Oficer, Officer Of the Day, and officers, and noncomissioned officers of the guard only.")Yes, that was what I called "fun" back when I worked in bars...

Posted by Mitch at August 2, 2005 07:14 AM | TrackBack

Comments

Well,

Perhaps that's a difference between services, they only drilled us on general orders in Basic, and then only a limited amount..

I seem to recall 1st General Order as I will guard My Post and all area within the limits of my post, only quitting my post when properly relieved.

Btw, I'm not sure you're right about that being the 6th general order, I think it might be the third.. but I'll go look.

Posted by: PB at August 2, 2005 09:46 AM

I googled it (I memorized it 17 years ago - it didn't stick with ME or anything).

The Navy general orders are slightly different, BTW.

And in my bar situation, there were scads of other questions that flush out the imposters from everyone else.

Posted by: mitch at August 2, 2005 09:57 AM

Well,

I didn't google mine, hope that puts to rest any lingering "implications" about my veracity :)... and yeah, that means I'm as insecure as you are ;0.

Posted by: PB at August 2, 2005 10:11 AM

I didn't say a thing about you...

Or SHOULD I?

;-`

Posted by: mitch at August 2, 2005 10:14 AM

Google
1st General Order
"I will guard everything within the limits of my post and quit my post only when properly relieved."
2nd General Order
"I will obey my special orders and perform all of my duties in a military manner."

3rd General Order
"I will report violations of my special orders, emergencies, and anything not covered in my instructions, to the commander of the relief."

Seems my memory of the 3rd (for the Army anyway) was still off but somewhat related, basic in 1985....Gosh, that's 20 years ago... damn I'm old.

Posted by: PB at August 2, 2005 10:14 AM

Another fun bar trick:

http://www.shotinthedark.info/archives/003409.html

Posted by: mitch at August 2, 2005 10:15 AM

Mitch,

Did you ever come across anyone who was legit who said that?

My experience has been that the people who do, don't talk about it much. Such as my former DBA/Navy Cryptographer/POW, or my step-dad who liberated one of the camps.

Posted by: Bill Haverberg at August 2, 2005 11:06 AM

Bill,

Yes, I came across a few.

Marines just out of boot camp, for example, were notorious for it.

Posted by: mitch at August 2, 2005 11:23 AM

I worked with a clown who was in the Navy Reserve, and who had served a hitch in the Navy. He tried to impress girls by claiming that he had been a SEAL. I shot him down every time by saying that the only kind of SEAL he ever would have had a chance of being was the kind that did tricks for crowds in exchange for fish.

Posted by: Mark F. at August 2, 2005 12:07 PM

So... I assume then you'll be kicking Rummy's and Dick's and Rush's Butts..

Let me book that flight for you :).

Also, if groaning arrogance means that I don't much like the fact that people who don't have the guts to serve push others who are economically disadvantaged into service, yeah, I suppose I'm groaningly arrogant.. but, then again, I actually DID berate/lecture/instruct soldiers about the fact that joining the service is not a mechanism to pay for college alone, it really does mean that you had best be ready to go fight, cause they gave you the money for THAT reason, not because they wanted you to have a degree... and any "soldier" in my unit, under my instruction, who didn't understand that had best get the hell out of my AO.

Saying that you'd give up your life for you child in no way though changes the debate, it makes you normal, but the point still is that we have an elite class, and then the rest of us. We also have gun/military freaks who "for some unknown reason" don't actually want to put their own ass on the line, but are damned happy to have someone else. Limbaugh fits this bill really well (or did during the Vietnam era.)

So I guess that means your comments didn't need to be directed at me at all (not even secondarily or tertially). I got the "don't ask others to do what you won't do yourself" lesson growing up.

Posted by: PB at August 2, 2005 12:18 PM

Ok, my last post was put here in error... apologies all.

Posted by: PB at August 2, 2005 12:21 PM

The Heisenblog Princple: You can know what the subject of a comment thread, or the particular point it's currently at, but not both.

Posted by: mitch at August 2, 2005 12:23 PM

"The Heisenblog Princple: You can know what the subject of a comment thread, or the particular point it's currently at, but not both."

For the more savvy commenters, it is possible to approach the minimum uncertainty product rather more closely than, say, PB seems able to.

Posted by: Doug Sundseth at August 2, 2005 03:05 PM

Mitch, I myself have played "psychic" to unfortunate friends. The reactions it gets are awesome (magic and mentalism was a former hobby of my adolescent self). Your post about it was interesting.

Wow, I'm going to stop typing, it's turning out to be a real brown noser of a post.

Posted by: Marty Andrade at August 2, 2005 04:43 PM

Yeah, I used to hear that same garbage when I worked the bars (tending and bouncing) in Indiana. Those of us who have served (like our friend Swiftee) usually can spot the phoneys pretty quick.

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