A Sleazy Home Companion

I was listening to the local Air America affiliate, and heard the most surreal ad; Garrison Keillor will be doing a benefit for some DFL candidate at the Mermaid in Mounds View.

I almost had to pull off the road.

I'm sure, of course, that they're talking about the Mermaid Supper Club, or the Banquet Room - both fairly sedate, staid north-burban landmarks.

But to me, "the Maid" is always the bar downstairs - a sleazy, smoky meat market bar that was the lowest point of my life in so many ways; it's where I ended up latching on during my years of being a bum, between careers. It's where I met my ex-wife (we both worked there - I was a DJ, she was a waitress).

I will always associate the place with twenty-something louts who'd get three drinks in them and confide they were really SEALS on leave; with two or three mindless brawls every Saturday night; with bouncers pummeling people senseless; of smacking morons with a cutoff pool cue until the bouncers could cover my back during especially nasty brawls; of people having sex in the restrooms, back rooms, and even in the middle of the crowd (don't ask) on particularly crowded nights.

In my mind's eye, I can see Keillor holding forth in front of a crowd of howling-drunk, belligerent, pool-ball-throwing lunks, and I grin.

I'm sure reality won't be anything like that - but it's fun to think about.