Light? What Light?
After JB Doubtless took his debut shot at music reviewing - in last weekend's out of context mugging fisking of Bruce Springsteen's classic "Johnny 99" - I was so impressed, I asked him to come and write some reviews for "Shot In The Dark".
I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
He started with Debbie Boone's classic You Light Up My Life:
So many nights I sit by my window
Waiting for someone to sing me his song
Holy Christ, you hussy! Take some responsibility for your pathetic excuse for a life! And you can't possibly be worth anything at work if you're sitting up mooning all night, now, can you?
So many dreams I kept deep inside me
Alone in the dark but now
You've come along
MORON! Sitting, putting all your hopes and identity in some guy! Gaaah!
You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
Why not try going to a mass once in a while, huh?
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song
Women who date musicians are just asking for it. You know it. I know it. But idiot Debbie doesn't seem to know it. I suppose we're going to have to support her lazy ass when he runs off, right? Figures.
Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water
Could it be finally I'm turning for home?
If you got a decent night's SLEEP, you be able to navigate, toots
Finally, a chance to say hey,
I love You
Never again to be all alone
So let me guess - you're in this hot, singing-all-night relationship, but you're finally getting to the point where you "love" him? You slut! Don't come crying to me when you get knocked up. Don't you dare.
It can't be wrong
When it feels so right
Oh, it sure can be wrong, toots. Very very wrong. Skank.
'Cause You
You light up my life
More JB's Music Reviews in future episodes of Shot In The Dark.
Posted by Mitch at
April 11, 2005 07:47 AM
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With all the talk today of what The President has on his iPod, I would submit those are great songs to use next.
I eagerly await the fisking of "My Sharona."
Posted by: Shawn Sarazin at April 11, 2005 08:14 AMCan't we all just listen to Iron Maiden and be friends?
LF
Posted by: LearnedFoot at April 11, 2005 09:07 AMDid I strike a nerve Mitch?
Instead of dissing, how about a spirited defense of the lefty windbag Springsteen? Perhaps a post about how he "saved your life" (an incident involving a meatball sub and the heimlich I'm sure).
Posted by: JB Doubtless at April 11, 2005 01:13 PMJB: I've levelled many a spirited defence of Bruce in this space over the years, and more are on the way.
And it wasn't a diss! Parody is the sincerest form of flattery. Or something like that.
Elder: More to come.
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