Leaving the Sandbox

Some of the overly-emotional Democrats that felt their worlds had been yanked from under their feet with the election are, ostensibly, following through with their plans to emigrate.

Some of them are practically caricatures come to life:

Melanie Redman, 30, assistant director of the Epilepsy Foundation in Seattle, said she had put her Volvo [I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you. Ed.] up for sale and hopes to be living in Toronto by the summer..."I'm doing it," she said. "I don't want to participate in what this administration is doing here and around the world. Under Bush, the U.S. seems to be leading the pack as the world spirals down."

Redman intends to apply for a conjugal visa, which can be easier to get than the skilled worker visa that most Americans require. To do so, she must prove she and her boyfriend have had a relationship for at least a year, so she has collected supporting paperwork, like love letters, to present to the Canadian government.

Oh, that's rich.

REDMAN: "Yes, I'd like to apply for a visa to live in Toronto with my Canadian boyfriend".

CANADIAN OFFICIAL: "Er, yes. With your boyfriend, you say? Hm. Well, you qualify for our special visa for 30-and-under girlfriends. (NOISES OFF: Other officials muting their snickering). We'll need documentation...

REDMAN: "Er, like what?"

CANADIAN OFFICIAL: "Er, like love letters...."

REDMAN: "Um, OK..."

CANADIAN OFFICIAL: "...and photographs. Lots of photographs proving you have a conjugal relationship. Yes, pictures"

REDMAN: "Er...all right, I can produce them...are you sure that's what you need? I've never heard of a visa application that required..."

CANADIAN OFFICIAL: (Waves picture of George W. Bush)

REDMAN: "Ok, Ok, I have some polaroids..."

ANOTHER CANADIAN OFFICIAL, CAMERA: "And Videos!"

FIRST CANADIAN OFFICIAL: "Oh, yeah. Videos. Videos are very important to get the special girlfriend visa...Yes, videos! Heh heh"

REDMAN: "Er...well...I'm not sure..."

CANADIAN OFFICIAL: "Hey, I do impressions! Wanna hear my favorite? Ahem - [PUTS ON COWBOY HAT] Edumification!"

REDMAN: "VHS or DVD?"

CANADIAN OFFICIAL: "Preferably letterboxed DVD. And they have to show the full depth of the relationship...heh, heh"

REDMAN: "And that's all I need?"

CANADIAN OFFICIAL: "Then there's the in-person test..."

Ms. Redman continues:

"I'm originally from a poor, lead-mining town in Missouri, and I know a lot of the people there don't understand why I'm doing this," she said. "Even my family is pretty disappointed. And the fact is, it makes me pretty sad, too. But I just can't bear to pay taxes in the United States right now."

On the bright side, Ms. Redman is a fairly dim-sounding woman working for a fairly pedestrian-sounding (albeit noble) non-profit; we're probably not missing out on a lot of taxes.

As to some of the others...well, their own words tell the story best.

Christopher Key knows exactly what he would be giving up if he left Bellingham, Washington.

"It's the sort of place Norman Rockwell would paint, where everyone watches out for everyone else and we have block parties every year," said Key, a 56-year-old Vietnam War veteran and former magazine editor...But leave it he intends to do, and as soon as he can. His house is on the market, and he is busily seeking work across the border in Canada. For him, the re-election of George W. Bush was the last straw.

"I love the United States," he said as he stood on the Vancouver waterfront, staring toward the Coastal Range, which was lost in a gray shroud. "I fought for it in Vietnam. It's a wrenching decision to think about leaving.

No, Mr. Key. You don't "love the United States". If you did - if you, and any of the lemmings that are following your lead, had any comprehension of what the United States was all about - you'd participate in the political process, and try to challenge via the open democratic system the things you disagree with, trying to win people over to what you consider the right way (or keep your mind open to the notion that you might learn something from those you so despise). Sort of like those of us who chafed at the thought of a Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton did.

But you're not, Mr. Key. You're taking your toys and leaving the sandbox and going where the warm, safe blankie of mother government will tuck you in at night.

But America is turning into a country very different from the one I grew up believing in."

That's right. When I was a kid, the opposition actually believed in what this country was supposed to be about.

Good riddance. Stay gone.

Posted by Mitch at February 7, 2005 06:59 PM | TrackBack