November 19, 2004

Feeling Queasy Already

This just looks...icky.

I'm not above the occasional burger, but - ugh. I'd be nauseous and off my game for a week after one of these.

And yet, I'm drawn to defend it.


Its enemies, naturally:

"They would argue they are just giving people what they want. I would say this is beyond the pale," said Jacobson, executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest. "Probably no nutritionist ever imagined that a product like this would be marketed."

Jacobson pointed out that one Monster Thickburger contains twice the recommended daily allowance of saturated fat, and nearly a full day's worth of sodium. Even before the new Monster Thickburger, the chain offered five sandwiches with 1,000 calories or more, and eight overall that have more calories than what was once the big-burger standard — McDonald’s 600-calorie Big Mac.

"If Hardee's persists in marketing this junk, it should at least list calories right up on the menu board," Jacobson said.

So while your nauseating megaburger makes me feel mildly awful just looking at the picture, I'll defend to the death your right to market it - if it tweezes of the professionally indignant.

Bon Appetit!

Posted by Mitch at November 19, 2004 08:51 AM | TrackBack

It makes me hungry. Afterwards, of course, I'd make me feel full, stuffed and queasy, but only afterwards.

Remember, the time to regret temptation is *afterwards*

Posted by: Barry at November 19, 2004 09:17 AM

Barry, that sounded like something Homer Simpson would say. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by: Ryan at November 19, 2004 09:30 AM

It actually looks like an upgrade of the original Monsterburger, which was roughly equivalent to a Wendy's Triple with bacon except without all the annoying vegetable matter, ketchup & mustard. Not bad, but the mayo is just wretched excess. It tastes a lot better without the mayo. *nods nods*

Posted by: Kevin at November 19, 2004 09:44 AM

Mayo on burgers - yick. My hatred of mayo on anything but a BLT is a matter of public record:

I first had mayo on a "burger" (actually a dog food patty between two stale slabs of brootje) in Holland. I thought it was a horrible mistake.

I was right.

Posted by: mitch at November 19, 2004 10:12 AM

If I stare at that picture for too long, the bacon tentacles start to wiggle. Lord help me, it looks like it's going to start walking towards me.

Definitely something to eat at night after fasting since early morning. Early yesterday morning, that is.

Posted by: Dave in Pgh. at November 19, 2004 10:18 AM

Those who would surrender their control over their hamburger purchasing options for a little government-sponsored health benefit deserve neither. -- Samuel Bacon

Posted by: Brian Jones at November 19, 2004 10:22 AM

Mmmm, hamburger, *gurgle gurgle*

Posted by: Ghan at November 19, 2004 10:33 AM

The really weird thing about that burger is that if you eat enough of them (which isn't that many), you end up *resembling* them.

Posted by: Jinx McHue at November 19, 2004 11:20 AM

The fact that my mouth waters looking at that is why I failed miserably at my attempt at being vegetarian (14 months of hunger, but hey, I was in great shape!)

My liber(al/itarian) point of view on it:

Sell what ever the hell you want. Buy whatever the hell you want.

Don't misrepresent it in any way (or I'll feel justified burning you to the ground...)

It would be best if you post accurate nutritional info on that little sheet they put in most fast food places.

Frankly though, the people that make a habit out of eating this sort of thing are the people that make me real nervous about how to fix the health care problem...

Posted by: Jason at November 19, 2004 11:20 AM

You know what'd REALLY be good? Take that burger, put a pat of butter on top and bottom, and grill it up in a pan. THAT's living!

(Shamelessly stolen from Letterman, but sue me)

Posted by: guichenne at November 19, 2004 11:41 AM

Hey, just take off the bun and it's the perfect Atkins food.

Posted by: Jarhead at November 19, 2004 12:32 PM

At one time, Carl's Jr (parent of Hardee's) here in CO offered the Double Six-Dollar Burger. One POUND of meat, with lettuce/tomato/bacon/mayo to boot!

Alas, it's no more.

Posted by: Brad S at November 19, 2004 11:16 PM

For a better version here in Minneapolis, check out the Humpty-burger at Tuggs just a short walk from Keegan's. They'll even serve it as a double if you ask nicely.

Or if you happen to be in Toronto, check out The Quadruple C (Collosal Colon Clogger Combo) at Dangerous Dan's Diner: 24oz burger served with a quarter pound of cheese, a quarter pound of bacon, and 2 fried eggs.  Also comes with a large shake (flavor of your choice) and a small poutine.


Posted by: Dave Polaschek at November 20, 2004 06:46 AM

I don't think I could stand to eat one of these (hold the mayo and I might try) but I'd mail a sackful or two to PETA... In the meantime, I think I'll stick with the somewhat more manageable fare from Burgermaster, a local drive-in joint that's been around for over 50 years now.

Posted by: Vexorg at November 21, 2004 04:04 PM

Needs more cheese & bacon if you ask me. They should make it Atkins-friendly by replacing the bun with two more patties. Then I'd buy one and walk on over to the local PeTA chapter...

Posted by: Jerry at November 23, 2004 08:13 AM