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September 06, 2006

You Know Who You Are

It was 5PM at the Superamerica on Snelling at Englewood.

The little old SA with the cramped corner parking lot was as busy as the deck of an aircraft carrier, with cars slipping around each other with mere feet to spare, cooperating in that peculiar way Saint Paul drivers do to get around in our narrow-streeted city.

And then you came in, with your Dodge Ram (the one with the hood like a '34 Dusenberg). You pulled into the lot. And you decided you had to "combat park" - to back your truck into a perpendicular parking spot so you could drive out faster, later.

Your truck seemed to take up half the lot as it seesawed back and forth, trying to line itself up to back into the narrow little spot by the door. Your gyrations kept quite a few drivers stuck at their pumps while you went back...and forth...never quite leaving enough room for anyone to get past. Others, trying to leave, were stranded in their spots in front of the store. And still others - myself included - were backed up onto Engelwood and Snelling, waiting for the drivers who were sitting at the pumps and at the parking spots to be able to move.

It took you four solid back-and-forth tries to get your behemoth jiggered into place, leaving about a dozen drivers - each in the same kind of hurry you were - thinking, I'd guess, about knicking your gleaming candy-apple-red barge just a little on their way out.

Posted by Mitch at September 6, 2006 06:26 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Sounds a lot like Bush's foreign policy.

Posted by: angryclown at September 6, 2006 11:04 AM

Angryclown never cries, "Brian Jones." Angryclown has but a single emotional setting: Dyspeptic Mirth.

You want crying, wait for Mitch to put up a post where a rich white guy gets inconvenienced or some poor Christian town can't forcibly convert the school kids. You'll drown in right-wing tears.

Posted by: angryclown at September 6, 2006 11:25 AM

It's not really combat parking unless you park perpendicular so as to take up six spaces, so nobody dings your door.

Backing into a space so you can pull forward into traffic is perfectly sensible and much safer than backing into traffic.

What this guy did is fancy parking. Or, if you prefer, Austin Powers Parking.

.


Posted by: nate at September 6, 2006 12:05 PM

Sounds familiar...oh yes. I bought the family breakfast sandwiches from that SuperAmerica one morning about 13 months ago. Pretty good for quick, cheap gas station food.

I did not have to worry about parking, either. I walked from "my" house. You wouldn't have to worry so much about buttheads blocking your vehicle if you walked to gas station instead of driving there.

Posted by: Dave in Pgh. at September 6, 2006 01:03 PM

I bought some smokes there last week and then left without them. You didn't happen to see them did you?

Posted by: Tim at September 6, 2006 01:50 PM

A little off topic but my first lawn sign disappeared today!

It was an Amy Klobuchar sign.

Ahhhh 'tis the season - I put out signs to express my freedom of speech and Republicans steal the signs and thrown beer cans in my front yard. I'm sure your mothers are very proud.


Posted by: Daoug at September 6, 2006 10:09 PM

"A little off topic but my first lawn sign disappeared today!"

You, off topic? That's unusual.

"It was an Amy Klobuchar sign."

Another shocker!!

"I put out signs to express my freedom of speech and Republicans steal the signs and throw beer cans in my front yard."

What kind of beer?

Posted by: Brad at September 6, 2006 10:54 PM

Oh... hi Brad.

What kind of beer?

I think it was some off brand. Began with a Q I think...

Quick...

Quip...

Oh... I remember... It was called Quixtar.

Ever try it Brad? I hear it is pretty popular among young Christian couples who live in cheesy looking townhomes in the suburbs.

Posted by: Doug at September 6, 2006 11:20 PM

Who walks to a gas station?

Posted by: bill at September 7, 2006 01:31 AM

Wow, Doug. You are a veritable trove of stereotypes.

Posted by: mitch at September 7, 2006 06:40 AM

"Ever try it Brad? I hear it is pretty popular among young Christian couples who live in cheesy looking townhomes in the suburbs."

Thanks for the compliment, Doug! I'm actually in my late 30s so any time I'm referred to as "young" it makes my day!

Actually, I like our townhome (bought it brand new 5 years ago). Nothing cheesy about it at all. However, we're looking to upgrade soon. Any areas you would recommend?


"Wow, Doug. You are a veritable trove of stereotypes."

No, Mitch. Doug has seen my blog. I have made no secrets about my life. Granted I don't live in a 4,000 sq ft estate on 5 acres where a lesbian sister-in law can come visit with her lover...but my wife & I are still doing well.

Posted by: Brad at September 7, 2006 07:48 AM

Mitch finger-wagged: "Wow, Doug. You are a veritable trove of stereotypes."

Not long after writing:

"patchouli-wearing arrested-development Baby Boomers who pine for the sixties."

And:

"granny-spectacled, espresso-guzzling fops (the grad-schooled children of the alpaca-clad, Volvo-driving parents)"

And:

"the Volvo-driving, Alpaca-wearing, Wellstone-voting set."

And:

"Volvo-driving, alpaca-wearing Kerry voters and MoveOn supporters."

Not that Angryclown likes you any less for it, Mitch, but what's it like to be a fraud?

Posted by: angryclown at September 7, 2006 08:41 AM

Wow, Mitch! You seem to be attracting angry libs the way I attract awful, horrible drivers.

You slam an obviously a selfish, rich Republican with a carload of empty beer cans and pilfered campaign signs and they STILL go after you.

Problem with signs is that the new, little, convenient signs that can be removed for lawn mowing are quite easy to take, versus the re-barred monstrousities I used to find underground sprinkler systems with and have had to yank out of the frosted ground when my sign "committee" missed one and the homeowner left it up until January!

Depending on where your new gig is, find a more capacious SA. The one on CTY E in Vadnais Heights has as many lanes as the nearby Target and Walmart combined. (and if you go inside and aks 'em politley they will turn on the air pump to save you two bits).

I avoid the SA on Snelling for the same reason you cited. Falcon Heights one isn't much better, but the inner-ring suburbanites who pay more at THAT SA than most others are generally more polite.

What a difference a mile makes!

Posted by: Wog at September 7, 2006 09:20 AM

"It was called Quixtar.

Ever try it Brad? I hear it is pretty popular among young Christian couples..."

Oh and by the way, Doogie. The organization I belong to has almost an equal number of Muslims and Hindus as Christians. We are one of the more diverse businesses in the world in terms of race, religion, marital status, etc.

Your apparent disdain is preceded only by your sheer ignorance.

Posted by: Brad at September 7, 2006 11:32 AM

"The organization I belong to has almost an equal number of Muslims and Hindus as Christians."

Gosh... That's swell Brad but I have no idea what you do - other than "Network Marketing..." and I got that only from your website - not your blog.

The Quixtar specific comment, the Townhome c0mment and the Christian comment were based purely on the "Network Marketing" thing.

Apparently, stereotypes apply since I seemed to have nailed all of them with you.

Posted by: Doug at September 7, 2006 03:07 PM

Doug, don't be obtuse; you know as well as I do that you're evoking stereotypes, invoking social stigmas, and implying character judgements (at least when rendered by someone outside the group of "white, suburban Christian MLMers") by writing what you did.

Posted by: mitch at September 7, 2006 03:17 PM

"Gosh... That's swell Brad but I have no idea what you do - other than Network Marketing..."

That is what I was referring to. The organization I am a part of WITHIN QUIXTAR is the most diverse group of people I have ever associated with.

"...and I got that only from your website - not your blog."

Really? In all seriousness I don't recall sending you a link to my site. I'm not offended that you checked it out, just curious how you came across it.

"Apparently, stereotypes apply since I seemed to have nailed all of them with you."

Well it may be true with me but if you think that's the norm throughout our entire group you are flat out wrong.


Posted by: Brad at September 7, 2006 03:57 PM

"Doug, don't be obtuse; you know as well as I do that you're evoking stereotypes, invoking social stigmas, and implying character judgements"

...and...?

Let's hop in the way back machine and review shall we? From one of my earliest posts where I said I had left the corporate world and started working in retail, so I could spend more time with my kids while they were still young, mind you, I've been called everything from a burger flipper to a cart jockey.

The fact is, I'm well compensated, I'm respected by my clients and my co-workers and I wouldn't be able to do what I do now if I hadn't made good career and financial decisions over the last 15 years.

That doesn't stop Tweedle dee Kermit and Tweedle dumb Dave from "evoking stereotypes, invoking social stigmas, and implying character judgements".

You know what the say Mitch, when in Rome...

And Brad, It's Quixtar...? You know...? Amway...? Pyramid Scheme...? Come on...? Seriously...?

It was funny when I was just implying you were involved with Quixtar but to hear you actually ARE? Good God, I'm so terribly sorry.

How much have you actually spent buying cd's, DVD's and attending "conferences"? I'm Curious.

As for how I got to your website, I looked at your email address. ******@bww.com.

Then I googled bww.com and found a site that requires you to enter your IBO number.

An IBO? Amway style pyramid marketing scam.

I'll bet you attend Peter Popoff style faith healing revivals too don't you Brad?

Posted by: Doug at September 8, 2006 12:55 AM

Doogie,

Give it a rest pal. I've already refuted your idiotic comments. You're just looking more and more pathetic each time you respond. Again, you're talking out of pure ignorance.

You can poo-poo the Quixtar business all you want. However, we have joint venture partners which include IBM, Circuit City, Barnes & Noble, Bass Pro Shops and Office Depot, just to name a few (out of hundreds!!).

Now, let me ask you. What do you know that the attorneys for these corporations don't know?

Have you ever had a job, Doogie? Then YOU were part of pyramid. Again, more ignorance on your part.

Look us up on the FTC site or the Better Business Bureau. We're held in very high regard.

"I'll bet you attend Peter Popoff style faith healing revivals too don't you Brad?"

Never heard of Peter Popoff.

"It was funny when I was just implying you were involved with Quixtar but to hear you actually ARE? Good God, I'm so terribly sorry."

No need to apologize. For the reasons I just gave you, there is no better business opportunity out there for regular folks to be successful. My wife & I are very successful and are very proud of what we do and who we are involved with.

"That doesn't stop Tweedle dee Kermit and Tweedle dumb Dave from "evoking stereotypes, invoking social stigmas, and implying character judgements".

Awww, poor Doogie. So now you feel the need to play this "I know you are but what am I" game?

Pathetic, man.

Posted by: Brad at September 8, 2006 07:25 AM

"However, we have joint venture partners which include IBM, Circuit City, Barnes & Noble, Bass Pro Shops and Office Depot, just to name a few"

Joint venture partners...

Brad, that's a pretty lofty way of saying you give people a code so they can buy crap through a different portal.

That and trying to convince your friends and family to join your network - ie. getting them to buy tapes and videos... oh, sorry CD's and DVD's.

"So now you feel the need to play this "I know you are but what am I" game?"

Huh? I think it would be more accurately described as the "you can dish it out but you can't take it game."

"My wife & I are very successful"

I'm sure you are Brad. My gosh... let's look at Quixtars own disclosure document to see just how well you can do...

http://www.quixtar.com/Documents/IWOV/VIS/010-en/PDF/SA-4400.pdf

Notice at the bottom where it says the average monthly income is $115.00? and that is BEFORE expenses like travel to seminars, purchasing study material, tapes and videos...

Yes Brad. I can see why you are so defensive and proud about your association with Quixtar! I had no idea it was such an outstanding business opportunity!

By the way, in addition to working retail, I also have two companies I started and still run and my wife and I own a successful marketing, consulting and communications company. If these don't pan out, maybe I will call you to see what great opportunities Quixtar can offer...

Posted by: Doug at September 8, 2006 10:54 AM

Brad said, and I fell on the floor laughing...,

"As well as earning an income for such a practice. For instance, if I am going to buy a book from Barnes & Noble why not buy it through a venue where I can make money?"

So Brad, You make money when you go buy a book from Barnes and Noble...?

Let's assume you earn a 15% profit off of each sale to yourself...

Pop quiz Brad... Lets say I give you a dollar... You spend 85% or 85 cents on a book and you earn 15% profit or 15 cents. Being the financial whiz that you clearly are, you take your 15 cent profit and use 85% to buy another book - let's be realistic... you can't buy a book for 12 cents so let's say you buy a twig. Granted, it is a very nice twig but it is a twig none-the-less... Then you get your 15% bonus or 3 cents. Question: At your current rate of profitability, how long will it take before you realize you're a putz?

Posted by: Doug at September 8, 2006 07:31 PM

"Question: At your current rate of profitability, how long will it take before you realize you're a putz?"

Doogie, that was just one infinitesimal example of how to make money in our business. Including our partner stores, we literally have access to over ONE MILLION products. Some more profitable than others. Besides, personal consumption is only one of literally TEN methods of income.

However, I don't want to continue to hijack Mitch's comment section to explain all ten.

Question: How long do you continue with nonsensical diatribes regarding a business about which you have ZERO clue as to how it works before YOU realize you're a putz?

Again, four aces, big fella!

Four Aces!!

Posted by: Brad at September 8, 2006 08:26 PM

*****@bww.com

That would be Britt World Wide wouldn't it Brad? That would be the organization inside of Quixtar that you're involved with.

You said,

"My wife & I are very successful and are very proud of what we do and who we are involved with."

http://www.pyramidschemealert.org/PSAMain/action/bww.html

Here is a brief snip from the link...

"As described by NBC Dateline, it was reported that the recruitment programs involved huge rallies where Mr. Britt and others in his organization, as a recruitment ploy, claim that the Amway/Quixtar sales business is the source of their wealth. In fact, the report revealed, the recruitment program itself is actually the source of the majority of their income, derived from the sales of books, tapes and seminar registrations to the recruits. A multi-tiered rewards system scheme is tied directly to ever-expanding recruitment. The recruitment-reward scheme was referred to by the victims as a 'secret business' unknown to those being solicited to join Amway/Quixtar. "

"Last year, it was reported that Bill Britt was involved in what authorities consider perhaps the largest single financial fraud case in North Carolina history in terms of the amount of money that disappeared. The August 8, 2003 edition of The Triangle Business Journal reported that in spring, 2001 Bill Britt invested $5 million in a fraudulent investment scheme perpetrated by Cornerstone Management, a company under investigation and prosecution by the SEC since 1999."

You're proud to be associated with THIS?

Come on Brad. Be honest. Are you proud or are you stuck?


Posted by: Doug at September 8, 2006 08:54 PM

The NBC Dateline report was successfully refuted by Quixtar. In case you’re interested, here are what corporation officials had to say:

http://www.quixtarresponse.com/

Also, Bill Britt has been cleared of any wrongdoing and, at age 75, is still actively on the speaking circuit. You may have a negative impression of Bill Britt but I’m certain Duke University med school appreciates his philanthropy.

http://www.yearinreview.duke.edu/schools/medicine.html

Now, let’s get to the heart of the matter.

I have spent this whole thread rebutting, clarifying and correcting your various comments and innuendos.

You have spoken with such disdain, condescension and borderline bitterness about our organization.

What are you hoping to accomplish with this thread?

Do you hope to break me down and get me to admit I’m in something shady? I won’t because I am not.

Are you threatened by the ambitions of people who genuinely want to have a business of their own?

Did you or a friend/relative feel as though they have been taken advantage of in a business like ours?

What has got you so angry that you are willing to spend two days looking up sites on the internet when you could be spending time with your wife and two teenaged kids?

Besides, you might as well go to your local gas station and look at the writing on the restroom wall. It’s just as credible as some things you will find on the internet.

Seriously, Doug, I am very curious as to what has you all in a twist.

You obviously have my personal e-mail address so feel free to send your reply there. Mitch’s readers shouldn’t have to be subjected to our verbal tennis match.

Posted by: Brad at September 8, 2006 10:11 PM

Please, don't take it offlist. This is the most interesting thread ever.

Posted by: angryclown at September 9, 2006 07:25 AM

Brad, you do understand the difference between "refuted" and "responded to", don't you?

Here's the text of the story. Compare it to the response you posted.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4375477/

The response amounts to, "well, you don't HAVE to buy the books..."

Just out of curiousity Brad, since your company has so many Muslims and other religions represented, I wonder how they would respond to this piece from the MSNBC bit...

Fredericks: “Lord, we ask you for a spirit of openness so that we might go down to Greenville, South Carolina, Lord, and that we might be changed. In Jesus's might name we say, Amen.”

Group: “Amen.”

Gosh, I wonder where those stereotypes come from...?

But hey Brad, if Quixtar works for you, that's great. I think there is a lot of value in faith and dedication but let's be really honest.

You're following a system that's rigidly controlled, highly structured and choreographed.

That's fine but calling that entrepreneurial is a little bit like plugging in a floor lamp then claiming you're the next Thomas Edison.

By the way Brad, I did visit your "website".

You have a pre-designed template. It's even called Template4 in a directory called Template.


Posted by: Doug at September 9, 2006 09:22 AM

Seriously, Doug. Send me a personal e-mail and I will reply with a name and phone number of a therapist I know.

She can help you deal with your anger issues. I'd hate to think what you subject your family to on a daily basis.

Posted by: Brad at September 9, 2006 09:59 AM

"I'd hate to think what you subject your family to on a daily basis."

Well Brad. I get home from work, we have a nice dinner and then we pop some popcorn, gather around the Monitor as a family and read your responses.

You're like the William Hung of the Blogosphere... Entertaining but I'm sure the novelty will wear off sooner or later.

I do have to appologize for may last post though. My wife read it and said It wasn't appropriate. She suggested... "That's fine but calling that entrepreneurial is a little bit like plugging in a floor lamp then claiming you've discovered electricity."

I must say I agree. That is a lot funnier...


Posted by: Doug at September 9, 2006 08:23 PM

airtravel

Posted by: airtravel at October 15, 2006 01:54 PM
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