Franken: Sum Of All Fever Dreams

Al Franken, campaigning for Senate fundraising for Democrats in Rochester, says the Dems can win - on values:

comedian Al Franken told the crowd that Democrats now have a chance to regain control of Congress and the Minnesota Legislature.

"There is nothing we can't do with a really good election, and I believe we are going to win on values," Franken said.

Good thing the writer, from the Rochester newspaper, specified that Franken was a "comedian" when he said that.

Values?

Those values, he said, include providing health care to all American children, increasing funds for education and being fiscally responsible.

Socialized healthcare and pouring money down the federal education rathole aren't "values", they're "bribes tossed to the undiscerning hamsters that vote for entitlements".

As to fiscal responsibility; anyone wonder, after a hypothetical (heaven forfend) Dem victory, how long it'll take the "happy to pay..." crowd to trot out the Tip O'Neil legacy?

Republicans, Franken said, have failed to live up to the promises made in the 1994 "Contract With America" as evidenced recent ethics scandals.

"This is a corrupt government," Franken said. "(Republicans) said, 'If we don't keep this contract, throw us out.' We are going to throw them out."

The violations of the "Contract" have made a lot of us in the GOP angry over the years.

The Dems are hardly the ones to lecture us about ethics.

Franken's visit comes as local Democrats gear up for what promises to be a heated election season. Although Rochester had long been a Republican stronghold, Democrats in 2004 scored two major victories with the elections of Andy Welti and Tina Liebling to the Minnesota House. Welti and Liebling are up for re-election this fall, and Democrats hope to gain more seats.

You never know. When the GOP is spending money like DFLers crack whores with stolen gold cards on things like stadiums (and taxes to float them), anything can happen.

Throughout his speech, Franken cracked plenty of jokes while also taking aim at the Bush administration. He said Democrats need to explain to voters where they stand, and that Democrats could create their own contract with voters.

Wouldn't that be interesting?

What would be in a DFL "contract" with voters, especially in Minnesota? "We promise an impotent nation, a depressed economy, and full subsidy of Incan lesbian body art. If you're ever not happy to pay for a 'better Minnesota', we will call you ugly, scatological names."

Well, I'm not a professional comedian. I'm sure Franken can do better:

"It could be called the 'Contract on Republicans,'" he joked.

Or not.

After listening to Franken's speech, Rochester resident Laura Askelin said the event shows the Democratic Party's growing influence in Olmsted County.

"It shows how strong our party is that people like Al Franken want to come here," she said.

Maybe.

More likely, it shows that Franken is bucking to spread his name outside the metro.

I wonder why that could be?

Posted by Mitch at May 8, 2006 06:43 PM | TrackBack