Upside The Head

Saw my youngest off on the bus today.

For seventh grade.

My oldest, natch, was on the bus at 7:00 for ninth grade - at high school. I've had some time to absorb that one, now.

This one's worse, though.

My son's still a little guy - he apes the behavior of the teenagers he knows, but he's not really a teenager yet. He hasn't hit that awkward, in-between stage; he's perfectly secure at the apex of little-boydom, sort of at the top of the boy game, not even aware of what awaits over the next four years or so. He'll still give me a big hug in the morning, still makes sure there's a light on when he's sleeping, still collects Pokemons and Yu-Gi-Ohs and builds forts and, really, all the things that make being a little boy tolerable.

Of course, little boys grow up. It happens, eventually. I'm just not sure the process of junior high - the big exposure to the "education" factory - helps them grow up in a direction I want. By seventh grade, of course, he's learned meek obedience (raising one's hand to go to the bathroom, learning what and when he's told to) to an authority that promotes deep cynicism (make a "gun" with your fingers, and you get suspended in the interest of "non-violence" - yet the violent kids are still in school, still beating the crap out of other kids). Junior high is where they encounter the soul-crushing peer pressure that pushes them into places that it's hard to get them back from.

I'd pull both my kids out of the public schools right now, if I could. Ten years ago I was a bit of a proponent; I've gone way past the desire for school choice, well into actively loathing much about the compulsory, factory school system. Yeah, there are some excellent teachers out there, and my little guy will no doubt learn some stuff this year - but unless a kid is naturally wired to sit in classes and play the paper chase game, I can scarcely think of an institution better designed to destroy the love of learning in the rest of the population than the compulsory school system, especially (as I remember it) Junior High.

But leave the system aside for a moment; while a kid whose self-respect survives can enjoy High School (to say nothing of college), and elementary school is relatively insulated, the fact is that Junior High is when kids start to marinate in the worst of human nature. Little kids who haven't yet (or perhaps never will) learn to deal with their own emergent worst traits, letting them run untrammelled; soul-crushing peer pressure; the grossly human trait of banding together against other tribes...

Well, anyway.

I guess that having been through these years before (I have a stepson who's 24) I know that I can't even begin letting the guard down yet.

So I hugged him goodbye this morning. He's excited.

I pray he stays that way.