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July 15, 2005

Marty Newton's Freaky World

I sat down in a chair late last night after eating a curious mushroom I don't remember putting in my fridge. The next thing I knew, I was walking through a strange forest, where perspective and, indeed, meaning had lost all meaning.

A man in a turban spoke furtively yet animated discussion with a pudgy man wearing a day-glo purple Keffiyeh:

Yes, ser; we serreptitiously serveyed the sercle of sergons as they sercled the insermountable servey that Yasser sirved them".
I shook my head as if to clear the cobwebs and moved on. Soon, a man stood before me, dressed like a small cat, grinning in a way I found unsettling yet catchy. "I got Horslips tickets. They're the biggest thing in the world", he whispered. I pulled away and ran into a restaurant to escape the madness.

I sat at the bar, and ordered a GRain Belt as a young couple behind me decided what to have for dinner.

GUY: OK, we need a side dish.

GIRL: Something that goes just as well with your cobb salad as with my camel tartare..."

GUY: Baklava?

GIRL: Nah.

GUY: Doritos?

GIRL: Nope

GUY: Gum?

GIRL: GUM! PERFECT! It's the number one snack food in America as interpreted in Marty World

I left, unsure of what this crazy new world would do next.

Posted by Mitch at July 15, 2005 06:00 PM | TrackBack
Comments

I don't know what's more unnerving - the fact that I have no idea what the hell you are talking about, or the fact that this surrealistic dispatch will be posted at 6:00 PM, or one hour and 39 minutes from now.

/googling Marty Newton

//oh yeah, THIS (http://www.shotinthedark.info/archives/005889.html) clears it up.

I'm guessing it's a veiled complaint about a Keegan's trivia question? Remember the rules! No whining! That includes allegorical whining, too.

Posted by: Lileks at July 15, 2005 04:23 PM

Remember Mitch, it's not Marty "Nate" Newton who writes the question. He just reads 'em. Or tries to.

Terry Keegan is the brains of the trivia operation. Which probably explains a lot...

Posted by: the elder at July 15, 2005 04:33 PM

Chad the Elder speaks as the guy who got another of Marty's questions "right" by agreeing that chickens have earlobes.

Posted by: Doug at July 15, 2005 08:16 PM

Terry [Keegan] cleared up the mystery of the missing chicken earlobe for us quite succinctly.

It's Terry's bar, it's Terry's quiz; if Terry says that chickens have earlobes then they have earlobes.

I can't argue with that! ;-)

See, that's the secret of the Fraters success; they caught on to the fact, before anyone else, that we're not playing trivia, we're playing Terry Trivia!

Thusly armed we shall overcome.

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