Shot In The Dark: You Know Who You Are

July 14, 2005

You Know Who You Are

You're one of those people who goes to the gym, walks in to the pool, picks a lane, jumps in, and...

...doesn't swim!

You are one of those "water joggers". Or perhaps one of those people who grabs a paddleboard or one of those floaty noodles and trundles up and down the lane. You tootle along at about 1/2 mile per hour, head above water, full view of your surroundings - but each of you takes up a full lane. And the pool at our gym only has like six of them.

In the meantime, those of us who are there to swim - to knock out a zillion laps and try to get some mileage in - wait. And wait.

And wait for a lane to open up.

Because when you actually swim, it's good to have a whole lane, so you're not smacking into other swimmers (note to all you real swimmers; yes, I know, you can, in theory, share lanes. But I'm not a real swimmer yet, and it's not really optimal, and you know it, so just shush) - which is something you water joggers and noodle riders don't need to worry about, since you can see each other.

So why don't all of you non-swimmers take one lane and leave some room for the rest of us?

That is all.

Posted by Mitch at July 14, 2005 12:06 PM | TrackBack

Comments

God bless you.

But seriously, SIX lanes?! Try two, sometimes three at the Lifetime, if you're fortunate enough not to arrive when they're offering lessons, waterobics, or (shudder) "family swim".

I would estimate the average time our walkers spend occupying a lane at 15 seconds/pound.

Posted by: mike at July 14, 2005 02:42 PM

Damn Mitch too bad Jesse is out of office. You guys could do laps together or start a syncronized swim team. Waterwings, nose plugs, caps, and of course matching Speedos. You guys would make the Elder even more proud of your fine state. Heck he might even help out the cause and shave you guys for the big meets.

Posted by: bags75 at July 14, 2005 03:28 PM

Not that I don't agree with you on many things, but this rings true to my heart more than anything you've ever written!!! I go so far as to alter the time I go to Northwest making for odd lunch hours just to avoid two women that wear a visor, have hand paddles and flippers, along with life jacket, and proceed to slowly float up and down the lane. Walking to the pool and changing burn more calories that day then what they do in it. I don't mind sharing lanes with swimmers and often do, but they refuse to share lanes and act like its the rudest thing in the world to even ask them if you can stay on one half of a lane.

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