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May 26, 2005

Wanderlust

I moved here almost 20 years ago, for much the same reasons James Lileks did; to get out of North Dakota.

And I love Saint Paul. I really do - there's a lot to love about the Twin Cities. And it's a good thing, because I am basically here for the next six years, whether I like it or not. So like it I shall.

But Lileks' column today certainly hits a chord.

James is getting restless with living here as long has he has:

It’s an odd feeling, and I’m not sure what I’ll do with it. I have identified with this place for so long it feels like treason to leave, and there’s something dangerous in disengaging long before you actually go. I love my home, I love my job, I love belonging here, and I love this place, but it’s trying my patience. And to be frank, it feels like it’s done with me, too. This is hard to describe. But. Having internalized down to the molecular level a sense of this place’s history, it has come to seem like a fool’s conceit, a love song to indifferent bricks. I mean, so I care about conservation of the Baker Building. So what? Is this what I’m going to do for the rest of my life – walk downtown twice a week, look up at the old friends, and say “yep, you used to be Dayton’s, but now you’re not, and the old Radisson was there, but now there’s a new Radisson. How about that.”
I haven't done quite the job of internalizing that James has - but it's getting there, especially on my side of the river.
Somewhere in the back of my head the idea Minneapolis day is four o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon in the late summer, when all the friendly spirits assemble. The ladies in sensible dresses coming out of Powers with a new pair of shoes, the men in hats stretching in the Donaldson’s tower and wondering if they should drive down to the strip this weekend, maybe catch a game at the Met; the janitor over the WCCO studio swabbing the floor so it shines when Cedric Adams comes in for his broadcast, the lonely guy heading into the Gopher to kill time before the bus takes him out of town, the secretaries at the Bridgeman’s having a malt before heading home on the trolley to tiny flats in Uptown. I can wave but they don’t wave back. Ungrateful shades! I see the town in terms many wouldn’t recognize – either the history long vanished my own history no one would know, or particularly care about. In New York or Chicago or any other large city there’s so much history you can explore it forever, but sometimes it feels like there’s not enough here to keep me going forward. Every place I go is thick with history, and half of it’s meaningless, the result of the inevitable accretion of tracing the same route for too many years. The history that actually means something is a phantom, and somewhat of a bother. What would it be like to live somewhere and not see what had been there before?

I left Fargo for a reason, after all.

And maybe it's just the fact that I'm 42 and bored to tears with some key chunks of my life, but I'm starting to see some of those reasons again.

Here, of course, James and I diverge:

But of course you’re running away from yourself when you do something like this, right? Well, no. Wherever you go, there you are. But at least in Arizona, you’re warmer, and CRIMINEY JUDAS I’m tired of being cold all the time. You oughtn't be cold in May. I walk outside to the gazebo – can’t sit down, the seats are wet – and I can see my breath. Which is nice, because it means I’m alive. But still.OK, I've loved the weather this spring. It appeals to my inner scotsman. Rain and clouds make me feel less guilty about working indoors.

Still:

All I know is that I’m coming to the end of a line, somehow...I really do love it there. Everytime I go to Arizona I think: yes, sir, this is for me. So I have a project. A five year project. I have to reconnect; clear the decks; remember why I love it here and make it work. If in five years I discover that the Minneapolis I love is a thing of fiction made of old photos and postcards, it’s time to till the soil. When I came back here the thought that I’d drive these streets as an old man was a comfort, and it may well end up so. It’s also possible I end up braking into a skid on some March sleet and get broadsided as I pass through Lake Street for the 95,933rd and final time, and my last thought will be: so much sun you could have had. So much sun.
Er, ixnay on Arizona for me.

But every time I go to Chicago or New York, the wheels start turning.

Again, I love it here - for a lot of reasons. And I have six years to think about it, no matter what.

Posted by Mitch at May 26, 2005 07:48 AM | TrackBack
Comments

I've been going through some of the same things, but with the Pacific NW in mind. I don't mind the rain and the constant cloud cover, but the cold and eternal winters are getting to me. And...the thought of finding new places to create memories is becoming pretty strong too.

Posted by: Peder at May 26, 2005 07:56 AM

I'm a St Paul ex-pat and I've been living in San Diego for the past couple years. Let me tell you that eternal summer creates its own form of depression. Every day sunny. Every day. Months and months of no clouds, no rain. Maybe that's enticing to some back home right now, but I've pretty much had it. In November and December, when the temps here start to dip below 60, the winter coats and scarves come out - I shake my head in disgust. It's hard to explain to people that are from here how much someone can miss snow. They typically retort that in CA you can drive to snow if you miss it so much. They don't get it. My prediction: if James ever makes the move to AZ, he will enjoy the first year, be OK with the next, and very homesick the next. Brown desert is no substitute for green fields. The Navy is moving me to Japan here in the near future and I can't tell you how happy I am.

Peder, why don't you take your fiancee somewhere more interesting than the Pacific NW, like Britain, if you don't mind cloud cover and rain. Then we could come visit you. I'd love to continue my running tirade about how Shakespeare in Love had no business winning Best Picture over Saving Private Ryan as we sit in a Scottish pub.

Posted by: Hans at May 26, 2005 08:23 AM

I have been planning to leave Minnesota for the last 21 years, six months, and three days. Not that I'm counting...often. This is not much of a place for a Southern man, especially the last of the reverse Black Irish Southern Catholic Redneck Jewboys. As with Mitch, if it weren't for the kids - especially my daughter - I would have been out of here like a shot five years ago, sued for divorce in Maryland, and damn the expense!

Posted by: Kevin at May 26, 2005 09:05 AM

I'm all for living here. I leave every week, and every week when I am coming back, there's no better feeling.

And Arizona is right out for me. Too much heat. Dry heat, schmy heat. IT'S 120 FREAKING DEGREES!

I don't like heat/humidity combos, so the south is out as well. I suppose I could live in Maine, Colorado, Wyoming or Montana. I suppose Idaho too, but I've never been there to find out just why I would.

Posted by: Shawn at May 26, 2005 09:51 AM

Wanderlust hit me like some kind of rare, incurable disease when I was a single man in my early twenties. I had never traveled outside of southwestern Pennsylvania until then, and I couldn't wait to pack up and leave. The trouble was, I fell in love with every place that I visited. For a couple of years, I devised plans, none of which came to fruition, to relocate to Ohio, which was close enough for regular vacations and frequent day trips. Then I visited Saint Paul two years in a row, plus a side trip to the lakes north of Duluth, and decided that I wanted to move to Minnesota. Everything about the state seemed perfect, except for the political climate.

My grand plan of heading northwest was put on hold when I married, which was a good thing for me because I had someone who could give me a considerate second opinion about relocating. Otherwise I might have made a rash and expensive decision to move and ended up coming back to Pittsburgh anyway.

From time to time I still think about moving to Minnesota, but I will be satisfied if it just turns out to be a frequent vacation destination. You can't do everything in life that you want to do.

Posted by: Dave in Pgh. at May 26, 2005 10:04 AM

I don't mind the weather here (in Minnesota.) The weather changes.

It's the people that never change. After awhile, that gets creepy.

Posted by: RBMN at May 26, 2005 10:37 AM

I used to (gently) chide my grandparents for being snowbirds, but lately I've come to understand why they do it. Plus, there's nothing like a couple of winter vacations to warm destinations to kickstart that sort of thinking.

In the last few years my longing for 95-degree heat and bright sunshine has grown stronger and stronger, to the point that Lileks' Bleat today rang about 90% true to me (the other 10% was the history part; I tend to feel more rooted in a place where *I* have a history, not to mention family).

In my case, though, I'm thinking that maybe working in a building where I can see the occasional ray of sunlight instead of all-fluorescent-all-the-time might someday help reduce the craving for warmer climes.

Posted by: Steve Gigl at May 26, 2005 10:38 AM

Scottsdale/Phoenix in July is no better than Minneapolis/St.Paul in February. In fact, it is worse, if you are in the valley. Imagine a 120 degree brownish horizon choked with smog, dust, and other various particulates. Twenty years ago, Phoenix/Scottsdale was a good town, but I couldn't recommend it now.

As far as what is a good town, a lot depends on how big a place one needs. Asheville, NC is beautiful, warm without being oppressively hot, and very green, for those who don't like deserts. Beyond the cliched college town liberal politics, it is a perfectly wonderful place to live, as long as one doesn't demand living in a big city. Much of New Mexico has about the perfect climate; the elevation and latitude provides four seasons, but without the extremes. There are no large cities however, even including Albuquerque, and the most culturally rich town, Santa Fe, has become too touristy for my taste. All in all, however, if one loves outdoor activities, New Mexico is hard to beat, again, as long as one doesn't need to live in a big city.

When considering feeding the wanderlust, ya' really have to think about how you actually wish to live, instead of some idealized vision that doesn't comport with reality.

Posted by: Will Allen at May 26, 2005 11:09 AM

Will,

That last bit, of course, is key.

I love a lot of places - the hustle and bustle of New York and Chicago, the scenery and climate and culture of New Mexico, the vibe and weather in Seattle - but for my money, the Twins still have the best combination of all of the above, plus winters (which I still love).

I just need to travel more.

Posted by: mitch at May 26, 2005 11:24 AM

Being a Californian in Seattle, I understand both Peder and Hans. I love California, but it's brown year round ( I'm from the Bay Area ). Seattle at least has seasons. ( Though Seattle rarely sees 'real' rain. ) I appreciate the leaves turning, the real(tm) Winter, and an honest dry Summer.

I love California. It's beautiful. But it's only green two weeks of the year. I love Western Washington, but I haven't had to deal with 100 straight days of rain (yet). If CA were greener, less populated, less liberal, it'd be paradise. But Hans is right, you'd get tired of the years of sunlight pretty soon.

Posted by: aodhan at May 26, 2005 12:16 PM

I just finished moving to Wyoming this spring, having lived most of my life in the city of Minneapolis. And I couldn't be happier.

My house sits halfway up a hill overlooking a rimrock canyon (facing east--breathtaking sunrises). We have had plenty of rain this spring (though not as much as you guys). The fields are deep green and I have roses and honeysuckle in my front yard.

The area where I live is protected from extreme weather and is quite moderate(not true for other areas in the state), although we still have all four seasons. We still get snow but it only lasts for a day or two before it melts, evaporates, or is blown away. It is warmer here in the winter and cooler in the summer.

I now live where I can enjoy wide open spaces, incredible scenery, exceptionally friendly people, and a culture that respects freedom and self-sufficiency.

The cost of living here is very low and our unemployment rate is 2.1%. No personal or corporate income tax either. The sales tax is 5% and property taxes are considerably lower than Minnesota. Wyoming had a billion dollar surplus this year and two billion last year.

I love it here!

Posted by: Wyomingite at May 26, 2005 12:20 PM

I envy Wyomingite! I grew up in the high country of Colorado and it was heaven on earth. Not too hot in the summer, tons of snow but not alot of below zero cold. However, I have grown to appreciate where I live (extreme northern Minnesota) for many different but (almost) equal reasons. I just came in from walking our 60 acres looking for (and finding about 2 lbs of)asparagus that grows wild. We have dozens of Showy Lady Slippers that bloom in late June, birch trees and spruce, morel mushrooms in a week or two (if it EVER warms up), fantastic sunsets in the west. The sounds of sandhill cranes and seagulls from the lake (Lake of the Woods-3 miles). Yep, it's nice. HOWEVER, I feel like Lileks this year (and last). When the HELL is it going to warm up and quit being gray and rainy?! I had to go picking asparagus with a thick coat on and even put the hood up a couple times. Criminy! Where is that global warming we've heard so much about? We could use a bit of it. There's only so much time before winter hits again and it's tickin' away....

On the other hand, I keep mentioning to my husband how we are not going to be like his folks and go sit in Texas in a trailer court surrounded by brown grass and snakes (and other old people keeping bird lists)just to be warm when we're old. And that's what Arizona seems like it would be to me. Endless summer would get to be kind of awful...how do you appreciate the nice days when they're all nice?!

Posted by: Colleen at May 26, 2005 02:29 PM

"...how do you appreciate the nice days when they're all nice."

It's not so hard, but it's not Arizona*. Stuck in a traffic jam on I-10 when it's 110 degrees out isn't my idea of a nice day; opinions vary, of course, but if opinions vary that much, I'm not sure I really want to know about it.

My grandmothers live in Mesa, AZ, so I know at least something about the area. The weather in the winters is nice, but the summers aren't any better than MN winters. Sure, you don't have to shovel, but there's only so much clothing you can take off, and it's not enough on a hot day.

Wyoming is nice enough if you like to drink and hunt (there's not much else to do), but the wind is oppressive and the winters can be cold even by MN standards. When I was at the University of Wyoming, the temp hit -50 at least once. Interesting fact: snow wears out** after about 15-20 miles. (This information from a snow engineer in the Wyoming department of transportation.) The good news is that while the weather gets cold, it usually doesn't stay really cold for more than about 2 weeks at a time, and its nearly never hot and wet. But you'll get really tired of all shades of brown.

Are there any more parades I should rain on? (As an AF brat, I have been lots of places long enough to, well, know stuff.)

* For constantly nice weather, try Honolulu. OTOH, the island is tiny and crowded and leaving means buying a ticket -- an expensive ticket.

** When I say "wears out", I mean the crystals get bashed into smaller and smaller pieces until they just disappear. (Rate of sublimation is directly related to surface area; amount of material to be sublimated in a particle varies with the mass. It's a square/cube thing that only becomes important at very small particle sizes.)

Posted by: Doug Sundseth at May 26, 2005 05:32 PM

Will - Phoenix isn't the only city in the state, ya know! Tucson is growing obscenely fast, but is still a much nicer place to live than Phoenix. Yumaz isn't too bad either, although hotter than either Tucson or Phoenix. I grew up in Tucson, and I have to agree with Hans - whenever I think about moving back, I remember praying for a cloud to cover the sun for just a few precious minutes.

Posted by: Elizabeth at May 26, 2005 11:00 PM

Two words....

Taos. New Mexico.

We lived in San Antonio for 8 years, prior to moving here 8 years ago. People mentally gear up for summer down there just like we mentally gear up for winter here. It's long, drawn out and hot. Day after day. Unrelenting sometimes. It wore us out, and we wanted 4 real seasons. Since we were both Midwesterners, with family in MN and IL, we chose to come here.

But...we did visit New Mexico twice when we lived in Texas, and I really enjoyed it. Last year I had the chance to do some consulting work out there, and we even chose to spend our summer vacation near Taos.

I. Want. To. Go. Back. Soon.

I just fell in love with the landscape, the culture, the people, the jewelry, the food. *sigh* Some day....

Posted by: Jane N-B at May 27, 2005 10:03 AM

Jane: Three words!

Anyway, you are so right about Taos. We went there for vacation about 5 years ago and loved it. Santa Fe is great, too. Beautiful blue skies and fantastic food! What I wouldn't do for a plate of beans, green chili and sopaipillas right now....

Posted by: Colleen at May 27, 2005 02:46 PM

Having lived a few years in Europe, a few more in Japan, some in Georgia, some in DC, some in Texas and Oklahoma, and at least traveled up and down the Pacific coast with a tent on the back of my bike, I came home to Minnesota --for the weather. People are the same the world over, but I need all four seasons. We could do with one month less of winter, but at least each winter is different.

Lileks just needs to get out of the city, because whether its Spokane, San Antonio, or New York --a city is a city is a city. And unless you're a bona fide cosmopolitan through and through forever and ever, a city will eat you alive eventually, mind, body, heart and soul. Of course it's all grey, inside and out -- it's concrete!!

Posted by: Eracus at May 27, 2005 03:39 PM
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