Shot In The Dark: Give Us Your Tired Ethnic Dustups...

March 19, 2005

Give Us Your Tired Ethnic Dustups...

Laura Billings, from Thursday's column, on being married to a guy who beats you over the head with "Irish":

I was married on St. Patrick's Day eve. The hymn was Irish. Yeats wrote the poem. Little girls in ivory and green dresses danced to a ceil band of fiddles and flutes. Whiskey flowed.

Hey! That's kinda neat. Sounds like a cool wedding.

Also, you learn not to mention your British ancestors.

Ooof! That's kinda sick!

Note: Keep your squalid anscestral hatreds at home, boyo. Most of our anscestors moved here to leave those putrid squabblings back in the old - that's Old - country.

So, in theory, did all of yours. Er, theirs.

Let's not have any more of this, shall we?

Posted by Mitch at March 19, 2005 06:59 AM | TrackBack

Comments

>Sounds like a cool wedding.

This may be the closest you've ever gotten to praising Nick Coleman. It sure is a lot closer than I will ever get.

Posted by: Harry Niska at March 19, 2005 08:09 AM

I'm not Catholic--never was--but I don't understand how an Irish Catholic, born and bred like Nick, throws out the Catholic part and KEEPS the Irish part as before. From the outside, it seems like they go hand in hand.

Posted by: RBMN at March 19, 2005 10:31 AM

Oh boy. I am that person described, and I WILL be that person whenever I get married. Although I would never get married on St. patrick's Day - that's a bit much. However: I'm all about Yeats, and Joyce, and ancestral hatreds. I've got St. Brigid's cross over my door, and my grandmother's rosary by my bed. It's my culture, my family, where I come from! My heritage isn't for show, it's not part of a trend. It's a deeply felt part of who I am. I am most definitely American, but my father never let us forget our heritage, and that we were a part of that too. He yanked us all out of school and took us to Ireland for a year when we were kids, yadda yadda. People may scorn it, because it seems sentimental ... but Irish people aren't ashamed of sentimentality. OBVIOUSLY! It's a national trait. :)

Posted by: red at March 19, 2005 11:29 AM

I'm all in favor of observing, even celebrating, one's heritage. I enjoy the cool parts of my own Norwegian, Scottish and French-Canadian background. I eat lutefisk, play the bagpipes, yadda yadda...

But unlike the people I'm lampooning, I don't re-fight Bannockburn or the Jacobite Rebellion or the Norwegian War of Independence, and fume with ostentatious emnity toward the English or the Swedes. (Not saying you are, either!)

Posted by: mitch at March 19, 2005 01:19 PM

Well, my enmity isn't ostentatious at all, of course. I don't need to re-fight the wars of the past, and I am sick of the goldurn IRA, and don't romanticize them at all - especially not now - but if anyone in my presence has the gall to say anything kind of forgiving about Oliver Cromwell, that's a total deal-breaker. END. OF. STORY. Don't defend that mo-fo, at least not in my presence!

And my father still worries I'm gonna marry a Protestant. It's kind of a family joke. Seeing as I only date men who not only are of Irish heritage, but actually have brogues and mothers they're sending money to back home, my dad doesn't have much to worry about.

Posted by: red at March 19, 2005 02:30 PM

Er, Mitch... there wasn't any Norwegian war of independence. We got our independence by diplomatic means exactly 100 years ago this year (there's a big celebration going in Norway). There was some sabre-rattling on the part of the king of Sweden, but his heart wasn't really in it, and thus he set an example for future generations of appeasers all over Scandinavia. Not that I'd rather he'd started a war, but what the heck good is an independence celebration without a heartless oppressor to hate?

Posted by: Lars Walker at March 19, 2005 05:39 PM

Lars; personal inside joke. I have great fun BSing people about the exploits of my great-grandfathers in the great Norwegian War of Independence, 1904-05. I try to see how ridiculous I can make the story before someone says "Uh - are you SURE there was a NWOI?"

With one crowd, I got as far as Great-grampa Jarl sacking Goteborg. Although some people thought it unlikely that his brother Ole actually invented the tank at the battle of Kristiansand...

By the way - when speaking of Scandinavian pacifism, I direct everyone to the story of the Norwegian and Danish resistances...

Red: The Vikings would have kicked Cromwell's ass.

Posted by: mitch at March 19, 2005 05:50 PM

Mitch: hahaha!! I wish you had, man, I wish you had. :)

Posted by: red at March 19, 2005 06:36 PM

Well, there's always the song Oscar Homolka sang in "I Remember Mama":

Ten 'tousan' Svedes ran troo da veeds
At da battle of Copenhagen.
Ten 'tousan' Svedes ran troo da veeds
Chasing vun Norveegan.

Posted by: Lars Walker at March 19, 2005 08:06 PM

Belgians. That's who I can't stand. Dirty, stinkin' Belgians. Other than waffles & Belgian fried potatoes what have they got? Nothin'. Wasn't Auric Goldfinger a Belgian in the James Bond book? And didn't WWI go global when the Germans violated Belgian nuetrality? They never should have been there. In The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 'belgium' was the rudest word in the universe. The guy who wrote those tedious tin-tin comics was Belgian. The Belgians export only Beuareaucrats and two-fingered Gypsy guitarists.

Belgians. Feh.

Posted by: Terry at March 19, 2005 08:59 PM

There are only two things I hate; intolerance, and the Dutch.

Posted by: Mr. Powers at March 19, 2005 09:06 PM

Damn.

Posted by: Brogue-less Protestant Guys with Self-Supporting Mothers at March 20, 2005 09:13 AM

Protestant Guy: HAHAHA!!!

Posted by: red at March 20, 2005 11:44 AM

At the excellent-but-too-seldom-updated SwanBlog, I suggested more appropriate wedding music for the Newspaper Newlyweds.

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