Victimization Pages
I opened up my inbox this morning to see that Megan Cubbingford, reporter for "Fungus" magazine (a local independent 'zine about local independent rock) infiltrated the Patriot Forum with Dennis Prager last night.
A little bird sent me the copy from her article on the subject.
Is It Just Me, Or Is It Conservative Here?
I attended the "Patriot" forum, put on by the local brownshirt monkey station, AM980 The Patriot Choice, last night.
I noticed that the crowd of about 2,000 was entirely white; where were all the people of color? The only people of color besides the few in the crowd were at the hotel, doing the jobs that had no doubt been forced upon them. The group was very racist, and jobbist too.
The social hour outside the dining room was full of hale-and-well-met exchanges of business cards and golf invitations, the kind of thing white people do when nobody is around to raise their social conscience.
I think a white Republican woman senator stuck her tongue in David Strom's ear from behind while reciting the "No New Taxes" pledge.
The entree was chicken romaine. Where was the food for people who prefer beef, hmmm? Or for vegans? The gathering was foodist, and meatist to boot.
The speakers all spoke. Where was the ASL interpreter? I'll bet if there were any Deaf-Americans out in three car garage land, there'd have been one! The meeting was clearly hearingist. Also, I met not a single person from my alma mater, Saint Catherine's, at this very anti-Catherine-ist event.
Dennis Prager spoke largely about Judaism and Christianity. What about the pagans? The rally was very faithist.
After the event, I snuck down to the Hilton bar, and saw a group of these white males (and a white female who was no doubt feeling the coercion inherent in the patriarchy) smoking cigars and drinking mixed racist mixed drinks like they were at some sort of country club. I went out on the street with the commoners, the hotel employees on their smoke breaks. And I revelled in their unintelligible Chihuahuan Spanish, and their convivial laughter as they looked at me, and as the smoke from my clove cigarettes wafted their way in the wind (which whipped around the building as if it were evading a white fascist border patrolman!) they started coughing violently, as if shedding the foul air of the fascists' party, and speaking sharply to me in their noble tongue - "No mas clove smoke", they said, which I think is idiomatic Spanish for "no more rich whiteys!".
Stay strong, my brothers and sisters!
I'm trying to book Ms. Cubbingford on the next NARN broadcast. I'll keep you posted.
Posted by Mitch at
March 14, 2005 07:55 AM
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I also attended the forum last night and did not come away with the same impression as Ms. Cubbinford writes of.
First of all. She doesn't listen very well or has very poor estimation skills. An attendance of little over 500 was mentioned several times.
As for the menu. I guess Ms Cubbingfor didn't ask for the "vegan" or "non-Glutton" plate like the people at my table asked for.
I can not comment on the "anti-Catherine-ist" event. Not sure it exists.
Mr Prager spoke about Judaism and Christianity because that is what the questions were about. Go figure!
My last statement is about her visit to the bar. The hotel was full of people. How could she tell if "white males (and a white female who was no doubt feeling the coercion inherent in the patriarchy)..." were people from the forum and not business associates or a group from the convention center?
That is all!
Posted by: Todd at March 14, 2005 12:45 PMMeanwhile, the Prager crowd would benefit greatly by following Ms. Cubbingford's example, as she betrays not a trace of racism.
Not a trace.
Posted by: pinkmonkeybird at March 14, 2005 01:08 PMNo one had mixed drinks. Scotch, beer, and wine. In separate glasses, that is.
Oh, right! Libation apartheid!
Posted by: Lileks at March 14, 2005 01:15 PMI'm admittedly unfamiliar with "Fungus", but being labeled with so many "-ist"s should probably be taken as a badge of honor. Regarding this as anything but comedy would be making a mistake, and in that light I find it quite amusing!
Posted by: EB at March 14, 2005 02:20 PMMitch, I’ve never heard of either this magazine nor the reporter and I find nothing on google for either one. Granted not everything is on the internet (yet) but pretty much everything tied to magazines, music, or politics is in some form or another.
Posted by: Thorley Winston at March 14, 2005 02:21 PMMitch,
Regading some of the comments to this post, I'll save you some work and do it for you:
[rolls eyes]
LF
Posted by: LearnedFoot at March 14, 2005 02:31 PMHuh?
This is so bizarre I can't tell if it is real or satire. Among the "ists" Megan Cubbingford isn't is "journalist". Unless this is indeed satire.
Posted by: Barry H at March 14, 2005 03:30 PMI am with Barry...Mitch are you moonlighting for Scrappleface????
Posted by: Debbie at March 14, 2005 03:34 PMIt appears you forgot to close those parody tags... :)
Then again, what does it say when a parody is almost indistinguishable from the real thing?
Posted by: Jay Reding at March 14, 2005 05:28 PMWell, while I was skeptical but wanted to give Mitch the benefit of the doubt, it does read more like a conservative parody than anything an actual nose-breathing leftist might write. The first clue should have been that a true leftist would have said “Right Wing” or “Right Wing Extremist” rather than Conservative.
However he did set it up nicely considering that on NARN he told us about a lefty who infiltrated a Patriot forum for Air America(?) and he invited any other lefty to attend openly with a promise of civil treatment. Also the fact that the last time he referenced a “little bird” it turned out to be solid (another NA member) made it seem a bit more plausible.
Posted by: Thorley Winston at March 14, 2005 06:09 PMBULLWINKLE: "Hey, Audience in the Dark - watch me pull satire out of a hat!"
ROCKY: "This NEVER works"
BULLWINKLE: Roll up my sleeve, and...Presto!"
(Megan Cubbingford emerges from hat, wearing Birkenstocks, smoking clove cigarettes and visibly fuming)
BULLWINKLE: "Guess I don't know my own strength!"
Sorry, all. I honestly thought I was being painfully obvious...
Posted by: mitch at March 15, 2005 06:52 AMGREAT, Mitch. I still bet you were staring at your pink pixels grinning 'Gotchya'
There is another post in here somewhere, about how easily your readers were taken in by this. Esepcially considering how painfully obvious you were! Hmmmmmmm
Flash
Posted by: Flash at March 15, 2005 09:23 AM