A Typical Day In The Life Of A Group Of Right-Wing Bloggers

The NARN did its live remote at the White Bear Lake Pontiac/GMC/Hyundai superstore. It was a wondrous day of bashing Jimmy Carter, laughing at the poor and chipping away at both the media's credibility and hammering on the the Minnesota tradition of "one people, one state, one party". Then the Northern Alliance guys slipped away to the Washington Square pub in White Bear Lake. We each ordered a pint of premium ale (because being the patricians we are, we don't drink Budweiser) and settled in for the festivities; in this case, a meeting of the Minnesota Regional Office of the Right Wing Noise Machine..

First, a man who introduced himself as the Cigar Smoking Man, a representative of our mutual master and commander, Karl Rove, stopped by and handed out our profit-sharing checks from Halliburton, and gave us a hearty "attaboy" for our efforts in winning the election. And we got some great news; we're six months ahead of schedule on our regional master plan, the key agenda item being the bringing down of the Star Tribune. The original plan called for the final Sheriff Sale in March of 2010; we're on track for October of 2009. After that, we'll march the newly unemployed Stribbers down Portland Avenue in a procession reminiscent of a Roman triumph, the NARN and conservative MOB members atop SUVs (the Powerguys on Escalades; Ed on a Suburban; the Fraters, King and I on Suzuki Samurai).

All was not sweetness and light, of course; CSM reminded us that there had been some violations of the chain of command in the months before and since the election. We all follow a very circumscribed chain of command, of course; from Rove through CSM through the big clearinghouses (Instapundit, Powerlineblog and Little Green Footballs), who get first dibs on things like the Times, CBS and so on. Then their filter down through the likes of Captain Ed and Vodkapundit; they get to tackle CNN, Fox and MSNBC, those sorts of things. The next tier - Fraters, the Scholars and I - are supposed to cover the locals. Word had gotten out of some of the lower-ranking blogs getting "uppity". And JB Doubtless was late, twice, in howling about CSM's Howling Points. That's not good. "Service in the RWNM favors the tortoise, not the hare", he said cryptically and with a steely expression. We in the Right Wing Noise Machine all have roles to fill, and we fill them exactly according to the plan. Being a right-wing blogger is like working in a union, almost like the military. We have a place in the grand plan, and our job is to execute. So we do.

But all in all it was good. The secret Right Wing Noise Machine handshake and song punctuated our leaving the bar, after which we took crowbars and beat up the workers at a food shelf.

It was a good day to be a member of the right-wing noise machine. A very good day.