Dinner!
Sheila O'Malley published her fantasy dinner invite list; I was happy to see I'd wangled an invite. But I read it, in her section on...:
THE BLOGGERS
I am choosing these folks merely because it would be FIREWORKS if we all got together at the same time. Er ... May 6, 2005, right Emily??
Emily
Bill
CW
Dan
Mitch
The world would never recover from such a meeting of the minds.
...and wondered "whatever could she mean?" Oh, hell, I'll just bring the appetizer and figure it out then.
Dinner invites, you say? Oh, why not?
Sheila divides her list into authors, bloggers, historical figures and artists. I'll add musicians.
THE AUTHORS
Leo Tolstoii. I have a TON of questions to ask that guy.
Hemingway. Because he was an interesting character. And I'd love to see Tolstoii pimp-slap him.
William Shakespeare. Historians say he just wrote. He rarely revised; he was apparently a first-draft kind of guy. Any good blogger could learn a lot from that.
Thomas Paine. The godfather of Bloggers.
P.J. O'Rourke - If you have to ask...
THE BLOGGERS - Well, I've already had dinner with most of my favorite bloggers - Lileks, Hewitt, Generalissimo Duane, the Big Trunk and Rocket Man, Ed, the Elder, Saint, King and Spitbull. The MOB Blog Party on 1/22 should get me in touch with more (hint, hint).
Beyond them, and the obvious choices (Red, Michele Catalano, the DuToits), there's one must-make invite; the elusive Wretchard from the Belmont Club.
THE HISTORICAL FIGURES
Winston Churchill - Part of it is the whole genius who changed history thing. Part of it is the notion of Hemingway and Churchill at the same table.
James Watt - One of the great self-taught geniuses of the Edinburgh Renaissance, a true Renaissance man, inventor of the practical steam engine; could probably help me get my stupid dish washer to run properly.
Theodore Roosevelt - Partly because he's an underrated renaissance man. Partly so he could smack down...
...Arne Carlson - ...and prove that just because someone puts an "R" in front of their name doesn't make them a Republican. I'd let Carlson bus the tables, but I'd be afraid he'd impose a tax hike to cover the costs.
James Madison - Another of the original bloggers.
THE ARTISTS
Lord Byron - mainly to see the inevitable boxing match between him and Roosevelt.
J.M.W. Turner - Another genius of the Edinburgh Renaissance; could come up with the right color for my dining room.
Humphrey Bogart - Duh.
MUSICIANS
Leo Fender - Not really a musician - but the genius behind half the great guitars of the past fifty years. Popular culcha owes a debt to Leo Fender.
Joe Grushecky - The guy is the blogger of musicians; a teacher by day, he's the leader of the Iron City Houserockers by night and on the weekends. As I've gotten older, I've gotten less interested in the twenty-something rock stars I used to want to be; it's easy when you're 24. It's hard to be a rocker when you're 54, and harder still when you have kids and a day job. Leave aside that the Houserockers were one of the ten best bands of the eighties; he's even more impressive as a schlemiel who just keeps on playing. When I start my next band, I'll have him to thank.
Emmylou Harris - Duh.
Shane MacGowan - Partly because nobody will have to be self-conscious about how much they drink (which should help Churchill open up a bit). Partly because he's an amazing talent. Partly because him and Hemingway could have an epic drinking contest.
Posted by Mitch at
January 4, 2005 05:48 AM
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HAHAHA this is great!! I love how you invited people so they could "pimp-slap" one another. Dude, that is hilarious.
Oh, and my random May 6, 2005 reference (if that's what confused you) ... er, that's the day that the Hitchhiker's Guide movie opens in New York ... and there is going to be a massive blogger contingency going to see it all together. And have drinks at teh Chelsea Hotel, and carouse at the White Horse tavern afterwards ... We have already micro-managed the plans and it is FIVE MONTHS AWAY.
Pathetic. I have no life.
Posted by: red at January 4, 2005 01:18 PMI'm just going to assume that you meant to add me to the list, but then realized I'd just outshine you too much, in which case I totally understand.
Posted by: Ryan at January 4, 2005 01:23 PMRyan - I counted "hot dogs at Diamond Bluff" as "dinner with Ryan". I thought that was obvious...
Red - the May 6 reference confused me, but it wasn't what I was writing about (although I may have a HHGTTG party, too...). No, I haven't read most of the bloggers you also invited. I'm assuming we're, er, diverse? (I'm at work, can't do too much reading (he says while writing)).
Posted by: mitch at January 4, 2005 01:27 PMThat's right, I almost forgot. How could I almost forget pounding down weiners with Mitch, overlooking the Mississippi?
Posted by: Ryan at January 4, 2005 01:45 PMI think you'd dig all of them, actually. Check them out - in all that free time you have ... at work.
Posted by: red at January 4, 2005 01:58 PMSheila - You think YOU have no life? I'm special ordering a digital friggin' watch to count down the minutes.
Posted by: Emily at January 4, 2005 03:04 PMhahahahahaha
I love how we are managing this event down to the minute and it is so far away. I love that. Douglas Adams would be so happy.
Posted by: red at January 4, 2005 03:29 PMOr deathly afraid of us.
Depends on how you look at it.
Posted by: red at January 4, 2005 03:30 PMHe loved being a cult icon. Plus, given that it was his twenty-year dream to see this movie come to fruition, I think he'd be glad to see us all excited about it. There's a nagging sadness, like a low hum, in the back of my mind because of this. I wish he could be here to see it happen so bad it hurts.
Posted by: Emily at January 4, 2005 03:48 PM"...although I may have a HHGTTG party, too..."
And no doubt it'll once again be on a day that I'm out of town, dangitall...
Posted by: Steve Gigl at January 4, 2005 04:23 PMEm darling, you once again prove that you truly do not have a life.
Paddy
Posted by: paddy at January 5, 2005 10:26 AMNO PUNK "MUSICIANS"?
How could that be? Punk, we are told over and over and over and over again by critics was the most Important thing to happen to music since Leo put out the first Broadcaster in 1950.
Punk saved music. Punk re-invigorated rock. Punk was Important. Punk punk punk punk punk.
Of course, that is all crap, because punk was and is nothing more than a cooler-than-thou pose of bad musicians (all of them), socalists (The Clash) and just trendy, weird, misfit urban types.
Come on Mitch, no dinner with Joe Strummer so he could try to convince you why collectivism is the answer?
Posted by: JB Doubtless at January 5, 2005 10:49 AMJeez, JB, why are you trolling me? You guys already get more traffic than I do?
"Punk, we are told over and over and over and over again by critics was the most Important thing to happen to music since Leo put out the first Broadcaster in 1950."
OK. You win. I'll invite Mick Jones.
"Punk saved music. Punk re-invigorated rock. Punk was Important. Punk punk punk punk punk."
Did you get your heart broken by a Stilettos fan?
"Of course, that is all crap, because punk was and is nothing more than a cooler-than-thou pose of bad musicians (all of them), socalists (The Clash) and just trendy, weird, misfit urban types."
Er, lots of punks were great musicians; Bob Andrews, Mick Jones and Paul Weller were all great guitar players. Oh, yeah; Johnny Ramone was a bigger Republican than even you, J!
As for misfits - well, I was one, so maybe that was the draw.
"Come on Mitch, no dinner with Joe Strummer so he could try to convince you why collectivism is the answer?"
A conversation I'd win. But Jones would be a more interesting invite.
Posted by: mitch at January 5, 2005 11:20 AMScrew Mick Jones. I still haven't forgiven him for that Big Audio Dynamite crap.
Nice to see you, Paddy. And thank you for the compliment. I thought you were dead.
Posted by: Emily at January 5, 2005 11:59 AMEmily,
If I tossed Jones for BAD, then I'd have to toss Lennon and McCartney for their post-Beatles work.
But we'll always have "The Card Cheat".
Posted by: mitch at January 5, 2005 01:04 PM