Is It Scrappleface, or is it...

Technically...

Bill Moyers, whose journalistic reports on PBS have been missed by most Americans for 30 years, retires this month but fails to leave the customary void, according to a journalism expert.

"Normally when a veteran newsman leaves, there is that sense of loss," said an unnamed professor at the Columbia School of Journalism, "but all of our metrics indicate that Americans are unlikely to note the absence of Bill Moyers, let alone struggle to reach emotional closure."

A spokesman for Mr. Moyers suggested that, during his three decades of low visibility, "Americans may have done sufficient pre-mourning to assuage the grief of final separation."