What You REALLY Mean...

Joe Carter has a fantastic post on reading between the lines

He gets most of the basics.

To wit:

“I don’t kiss up to anybody.” -- Translation: I’m a tactless jerk.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks.” -- Translation: I’m deeply insecure and constantly worry about what everyone thinks of me.

“It’s not you, it’s me.” -- Translation: Let’s not kid ourselves, you’re definitely the reason we’re breaking up.

“I’m just crazy like that.” -- Translation: I’m the type of geek who thinks other people are impressed by my goofy behavior.

“What do you do for a living?” -- Translation: What socio-economic category can I place you in so that I may judge your value as a human being.

“Money isn’t everything.” -- Translation: I’ve come to the realization that I will be broke for the rest of my life.

“We need to talk about our relationship.” (Spoken by a woman) -- Translation: We need to talk about what you’re doing wrong.

“Fine, let’s talk.” (Coming from a man) -- Translation: Please, please, let’s get this over with before the football game comes on.

“Deep down, he’s really a good kid” -- Translation: I can’t bring myself to admit that my kid is a hellion.

“I’m just not good at taking tests.” -- Translation: I’m too lazy to actually study.

“I prefer a guy with a sense of humor” -- Translation: I prefer a guy who can make me laugh as long as he is also rich and good-looking.

“Do I look fat in these pants?” -- Translation: Your verbal reinforcement that I'm thin enough is the only thing keeping my self-esteem out of the toilet.

“It was really nice meeting you.” -- Translation: Five minutes from now I won’t even remember your name.

“Sure, you can call me sometime.” -- Translation: I will be changing my phone number tomorrow.

“You look great!” -- Translation: I forgot just how terrible you looked the last time I say you.

“What are you thinking” (Coming from a woman) -- Translation: What are you thinking?

“Nothing.” (Coming from a man) -- Translation: My mind is -- as usual -- a complete blank.

Of course, he misses some good ones:

"People say I'm too honest for my own good" - I'm tactless, self-centered clod.

"I work hard and I play hard" - but I think real soft.

More?

Posted by Mitch at September 27, 2004 01:29 AM | TrackBack