July 19, 2004
Not So Fast
F*** The Vote (not at all safe for work - you've been warned) isn't the dumbest idea I've seen - that would have to have been vote-swapping between Nader supporters in Gore states and Gore supporters in swing states back in 2000.
But it's...well, wrong on a couple of key points.
(Via Spitbull)
There's this quote here:
Everyone knows liberals are hotter than conservatives - we look hotter, we dress hotter, our ideas are hotter, and we are infinitely hotter in the sack.Sorry to pop your bubbes, people - but no. As to looks, I refute you thus:
Most of you look like frumpy librarians, you dress in visual cliches, your ideas are laughable And I'm here to testify, your last claim is also sadly in error.
You'll have to take my word for it - but no, it's no contest.
Believe it or not, even the most seemingly deeply rooted right-wing ideologue can be manipulated by sex. As we all know, the sex drive is a powerful beast that has the potential to change people. People lie for sex, they cheat for sex, they even kill for sex - and you can be sure that they will change the way they think (and therefore vote) for sex. All you need to be armed with are your sexy progressive values, a razor-sharp wit, your genitalia, and a mindset that doesn't mind taking one for the team.Taking bath wouldn't hurt either.
At F*** The Vote we provide a Pledge Sheet that can be used conveniently before becoming physically intimate with a conservative, The Pledge Sheet asks the signee to make a promise to vote for anyone but George Bush in the November election.Hm. A contract that can neither be verified nor enforced, being bandied about by people whose hatred of George W. Bush drives them to things like this...the mind reels.
They are dumb, aren't they?
Posted by Mitch at July 19, 2004 06:10 AM | TrackBack
Awfully trusting for people who run around screaming "Bush Lied!" aren't they?
Sure baby, I'll vote for Kerry after we seal the deal.
I would never normally encourage people to lie, but in this case I'm making an exception and calling on all unattached conservative men to take these broads up on their offer; no matter how unattractive most of them probably are.
Screw them once in the sack. Screw them twice by voting for Bush in November.
And yes Mitch, they are dumb. The use of the phrase "sexy progressive values" confirms it.
Posted by: the elder at July 19, 2004 09:27 AMPeople lie, cheat, steal for sex, therefore they'll change the way they vote for sex... Or they could just continue to lie for sex.
Posted by: LauraB at July 19, 2004 10:57 AMI'll respect you in the morning, I'll call you, and sure, I'll vote for Kerry.
Feh. Makes as much sense as the Lysistrata Project. Rather than seducing members of the GOP, why not actually do something constructive?
Because sex is more fun, that's why.
Seriously, folks, go do something. Off of our backs and into the streets!
Posted by: Jeff Fecke at July 19, 2004 03:32 PMDammit, and I live in California, which isn't a "swing" state! Screwed again! (or not, as the case is here)
Posted by: James Ph. at July 19, 2004 06:29 PMWell, if Kerry wins, at least you'd be used to getting screwed by a liberal Democrat...
Posted by: Jay Reding at July 19, 2004 10:19 PM