Strange Bedfellows

In a recent poll, Americans' bottom five least favorite, least appreciated professions were as follows, in descending order:

• Baby Seal Clubber
• Fedayeen (Michael Moore fans boosted them out of the #4 slot)
• Staff Counsel, NAMBLA
• Television Programming Executive
• Al Quaeda senior management

Most people agree on this; were, say, a clubber of baby seals to complain about the rigors of his job, most people would say "Fie on you!" (well, the Elder would), "you are as scum, and nobody cares about you!"

And it'd be true.

Unless you're mixing it up with the dreaded, "conservative" Fox Network. Then, Brian Lambert wants to know about it.

Lambert says:

Much as you hate to interrupt a guy on his honeymoon, someone has to step up and call Fox a bunch of thieving low-lifes. At ABC, the job falls to Stephen McPherson.

Consider for a moment that paragraph: Someone has to insult Fox? And to do this you're willing to interrupt a man's honeymoon? Or is the implication that blasting Fox is a higher calling than starting one's marriage?

And the big question: Why is insulting Fox such an important calling to this man?

A
BC's prime-time troubles over the past five years are legendary. Only "NYPD Blue" (entering its last season, by all indication) and "Alias" qualify as reliable performing dramas. The death of John Ritter tore a hole in the network's best new sitcom, "8 Simple Rules," and while "The Bachelor" franchise performs well, it is no "American Idol," "Survivor" or "Apprentice."

Which is why ABC needs "Wife Swap" so badly.

A hit in Britain, the mere title of the show created buzz when ABC announced it would make the fall schedule. (It is another reality show. Two families exchange wives/mothers, and the women learn to cope with someone else's slovenly husband, noisy kids, etc. The American version is certain to steer clear of anything salacious.)

With the buzz, ABC felt upbeat for a change. Hey, people want to watch something on our network! Cool! But as has become the norm this summer, Fox soon applied the buzzkill.

Out of nowhere, Fox announced it had come up with show called "Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy" and — what's more — would have it on the air more than a month before "Wife Swap."

McPherson isn't happy.

I'll bet he's not. Not should he be. But not for the reasons Lambert gives us..

"In terms of ripping off or cloning or whatever you want to call it," he said, traffic circling the Arc de Triomphe behind him, "I'll put it this way: If I was a member of the creative community, it would be incredibly disconcerting to me to know that if you take a show, a pitch, into Fox, and they can't or decide not to buy it, they will steal it. Plain and simple. I think it's really upsetting. I think it's bad for business, and I don't think its right."

Yeah, McPherson, but you're not a member of the "creative community". You're a member of the "creativity-destruction community", AKA a Network Programming Executive. There is no honor among thieves, but then, thieves aren't Network Programming Executives, so they can count on some legitimate public sympathy.

And it'd seem that ABC's Mcpherson is indeed also a thief:

As for the pesky detail that ABC's "The Benefactor," starring Dallas tycoon Mark Cuban, seems an awful lot like "The Apprentice" and Fox's Richard Branson show, McPherson explains it's one thing to copy an established hit — that's showbiz — but it's something else to swipe ideas before they see the light of day.

Why? Because the Fox people get their insultingly bad, derivative, stolen programming ideas into production faster than ABC can get their insultingly bad, derivative, stolen concepts filmed?

I guess as long as it's Fox...

Posted by Mitch at July 15, 2004 07:38 AM | TrackBack