The Madness of King Gizzizzle

Normally, I don't like sending traffic to sites I regard as jokes. But sometimes it's unavoidable.

Mark Gisleson - former City Pages writer (albeit briefly) and "Rush Limbaughtomy"-calibre conspiracy theorist - has the election all figured out.

No, really.

We're talking about the same Mark Gisleson that Steve Perry - no right-wing tool, he - had to step out of his usual liberal firebrand role to drag him back into the realm of reality, as he did in this bit. Gisleson had accused Karl Rove of personally orchestrating the trashing of Mad How in Iowa; Perry wrote in a following posting:

Yeah, Drudge has certainly been entertaining the last few days. Only one problem: Without any major exceptions that I'm aware of, this is not Rove and the Republicans doing the "opposition research," as it's called. It's the Democrats themselves, most especially the Clark camp.

Mark didn't last long after that - he went back to his resume-writing business.

But while you can unceremoniously excise a moonbat extremist pundit from the City Pages, you can't excise the moonbat from the pundit. Gisleson's blog is a fascinating read, in the same sense that sitting next to a schizophrenic on a bus can be mildly engrossing.

This piece is a case in point:

It's talk radio that keeps propping up Bush, and states that were late to trend red will be slow to reverse course. But bluster and Limbaughisms won't prop up Bush forever, and I expect the worst of the bubba vote to dwindle into apathy by November due to an alt-source of anti-Bush sludge.

And that source - aside from the daily drumbeat of the media, of course - is...what?

Bush is hurting where it really counts: the online porn threads. For years the ultra-hard core fans (or perhaps paid professionals?) littered the porn threads with vicious anti-Hillary Clinton fake porn.

Got that?

That's what made all the difference! Not the well-run come-from-behind campaign against the stiff, lunatic Algore that the GOP remembers. Not even the cascading conspiracies of Democrat Underground lore. Nossir - Photoshops of Hillary!

That stuff hasn't disappeared entirely, but what little there is has been overwhelmed by a sea of fake George W. Bush fake gay porn. More to the point, the Bush stuff is pretty amateurish, a sure sign that this is a sincere outbreak of teen wrath at the man who fucked up Iraq.

Right. Because in a world where Karl Rove carried John Kerry's water, I suppose it's logical to think that 49% of the people were influenced by porn in 2000, and that Iraq is worse-off than it was two years ago.

Silly of me to miss it, in fact.

This fake porn gets printed out and circumspectly distributed in workplaces and classrooms. In male-only domains like autobody shops these pix get posted in the men's room. Macho Americans can only endure so many pictures of Bush on the bottom and Osama on top before the whole thing becomes a national joke.

Ah, that'd explain the "Gender Gap", Bush's pre-eminence among males, then. Nothing influences the red-state male like gay Photoshop porn.

Bush has lost the Howard Stern voters, and that will cripple him. Or, more accurately, he'll increasingly be seen as a pathetic sick joke.

He has a point.

Karl Rove told me to say that.

Posted by Mitch at June 1, 2004 05:26 AM