I'd Get Mad - But I'm Too Tired

Michelle Cottle of the New Republic writes about the newest trendy affliction: Harried Woman Syndrome.

This part's absolutely rich - so rich I gag on it:

Gag. Must we medicalize everything in order for it to be real? I'll tell you what's wrong with women: We have stupidly agreed to do it all. We bought into that "you can do anything a man can do" line, without pushing the reciprocal expectation that men will do much of what we were originally doing. This is why many dads still expect a ticker-tape parade when they change a diaper or wash a dish.

Oh, good lord, woman - quit channelling Barbara Billingsley. Even when I was married, I did all of that without so much as a Distringuished Service medal. Believe it or not.

It's also why, when women come home from ten hours at the office, their brains immediately shift into life maintenance mode, spinning through a mental checklist of thousands of chores yet to be done. It's not that men won't help when asked--repeatedly; it's that most never look around for what needs to be done without being asked--repeatedly. (When's the last time a man spontaneously checked to see if the house was low on toilet paper or Saran Wrap?)

Every blessed day, Martha Stewart.

Here was my day today, Ms. Cottle: Up at 5:45. One load in the wash, fold the load from the dryer. Wake the kids. Take a bath. Wake the kids again. Get 'em dressed, and out to the bus. Oops, son's been suspended from the bus - drive him to school. Drive to work (30 miles). Work. Get call that ex can't pick up son from school - race back through rush-hour to get son. Home. Cook dinner. Homework. Basketball practices for both kids. Home, baths, bedtime stories, to bed - and the maybe an hour for me.

And that routine is not that much different than when I was married, maam.

I'm not here to whine about life as a single dad. I love my life, and all that comes with it. But men today - married or not - are every bit as harried as Ms. Cottle's benighted broads. If Warren Farrell, author of Myth of Male Power is to be believed, harried to death. The whole book is worth a read.

But thanks for reminding me - I gotta get toilet paper and Saran Wrap.

That said, women do not need some trendy medical diagnosis to legitimize their fatigue and low libidos. (Speaking of which, maybe if you guys would get up off your asses and empty the dishwasher occasionally without being asked, your honeys would have more energy for a quick snog.)

Ms. Cottle, I have forgotten where my libido goes.

But I'll use the last of my energy before starting supper and homework and hoops to urge you to put down the rampaging sense of victimhood and step away from the keyboard.

Posted by Mitch at December 12, 2002 06:18 PM