The Faint Thread of Continuity

The Faint Thread of Continuity - Atomizer, from Fraters Libertas, comments about a Lileks Bleat from a few days ago. Atomizer quotes Lileks:

…nothing I make in the Mexican realm will equal the Chili Cheese Burrito at Taco Bell. (Gasps of horror from the audience.) True. It is perhaps the only menu item so fine it survived a merger and acquisition. The Chili Cheese Burrito was a specialty of the Zantigo chain, a far-superior purveyor of FauxMex food. The meat was finely granulated, stirred into a cheesish fluid imbued with peppers, and served in a thin burrito. Mm mm. When Taco Bell took over Zantigo they killed the Chilito dead, but the people rose up and demanded their rights, and in a rare act of corporate wisdom they brought it back, for good. You can still ask for a Chilito by name, and they’ll make it. Ten years after the death of Zantigo. Amazing.

I was addicted to these things. When my friends and I were in high school, we used to bike 5 miles to the nearest Zantigo (the restaurant formerly known as Zapata) almost nightly to get our fix. When we heard the news that the restaurant chain was being converted to Taco Bell in 1986 we went into full survival mode and scoured the Twin Cities area for any remaining franchise that was still operating to stock up.

While Zantigo/Zapata had its merits, neither could hold a candle (one of those Mexican devotional candles you get at Rainbow) to Taco John's. For good, greasy, cheap faux-Mex, they were far and away the top of the mystery meat pile. There can be no rational argument.

Still, Zan/Zap was a loss.

Atomizer discusses other substitutes that don't quite stack up to the real thing:

McDonalds’ New Chicken McNuggets - I like dark meat. It’s juicier than white meat and it just plain tastes better. I’ll take a deep fried chunk of chicken gristle with extra skin over a tasteless preformed mass of breast meat any day. If I cared about eating what is good for me I wouldn’t be going to McDonalds.

At this, Atomizer is correct.

Van Halen - While I was not a huge fan of these guys, I can’t stand them since Diamond Dave departed. Consider this bit of lyrical genius shrieked by Sammy Hagar: “Only time will tell if we stand the test of time.” Good one, Sammy.

As long as Eddie is alive and playing, Van Halen will be worth a listen. But Sammy was really a wretched choice to replace Diamond Dave.

And I can't believe I'm having this discussion, 17 years after the fact...

And speaking of which, it's here that Atomizer tips his whippersnapper hand, and comes up wanting:

Yes - This band’s lineup has changed more times than Michael Jackson’s nose, but the worst had to be Trevor Rabin and Geoff Downes replacing Jon Anderson and Rick Wakeman. Yes just didn’t sound right without the pretentiousness of Anderson’s vocals and Wakeman’s keyboards.

I looked at this for a while and had to think - Trevor Rabin? The technically-wonky-yet-kinetic South African guitar player that replaced the somnolent, insufferable Steve Howe, giving the band its only, brief, period of pop listenability?

Then I realized, Atomizer was probably not born when the crime was committed. He's referring to Trevor Horn and Geoff Downes, AKA "Buggles", the band that gave us "Video Killed the Radio Star", who filled in on vocals and keyboards for about a year in the early eighties. And he's right, to a point - Horn as lead singer was a disaster for Yes. But the period of Yes' music he produced - 90215, 90215 Live and Big Generator, were distinguished as the only three Yes albums that I could listen to without chundering. It helped that they had Jon Anderson, who's vocals really define the band - but lacked Howe and Wakeman, two of the most tedious, party-killing presences in "rock" music. With the savvy, unpretentious Rabin on guitars and the vastly more economical Tony Kaye on keys, the band bordered on listenability (and if you disagree, you probably also listen to Pink Floyd albums other than "The Wall" and "Final Cut". Admit it. I knew it).

1988 Minnesota Twins - Tom Brunansky traded to St. Louis for Tommy Herr? Who needed Bruno’s subsequent 105 home runs and 444 RBI. Herr, on the other hand, smashed out 9 homers and 139 RBI. Brilliant move.

No argument there.

But there are other bad substitutions and replacements throughout history, leading with:

• The Bobless Replacements - Slim Dunlop's a great guitar player - but he wasn't the foil against Paul Westerberg's growing mellowness that the 'Mats needed. Which was one reason he got fired, of course, but the Dunlop-era 'Mats weren't the same. That's not a bad thing - but I missed Stinson.
• The E-Street Band without Miami Steve - the Born In The USA tour was a watershed moment in my life when I saw it's second night, here in Saint Paul in '84. And Nils Lofgren had been a guitar idol long before he hooked up with the boys. But nobody - NOBODY - does backup vocals like Steven.
• Minute Maid in place of Nesbitts - Replacing the delectable Nesbitts brand of orange soda with the neavy, syrupy, but brand-friendly "Minute Maid" brand goo turned me off orange pop forever. There will never be a substitute.
• Bruce without the E Street Band - "Lucky Town" is an underrated album. "Human Touch" was maybe the most disappointing record Springsteen's 's ever released. But the tour that followed can be summed up with four words; Shayne Fontaine on guitar. Not pretty.

More as conditions warrant.

Posted by Mitch at July 17, 2003 12:49 PM