The Glass Is Half Full.

The Glass Is Half Full. Of Koolaid.- Left-wing hate site Democrats.com ups the ante for conspiracy theories:

According to DEBKAfile analysts, these seven anomalies point to one conclusion: Saddam Hussein was not in hiding; he was a prisoner.

After his last audiotaped message was delivered and aired over al Arabiya TV on Sunday November 16, on the occasion of Ramadan, Saddam was seized, possibly with the connivance of his own men, and held in that hole in Adwar for three weeks or more, which would have accounted for his appearance and condition. Meanwhile, his captors bargained for the $25 m prize the Americans promised for information leading to his capture alive or dead. The negotiations were mediated by Jalal Talabani’s Kurdish PUK militia."

They quote this DEBKA piece. Note that DEBKA - the "Matt Drudge of the Middle East" - proves the Infinite Number of Monkeys" theory - if you toss out enough theories, one of them must be right. Sorry to say, I've quoted them a few times myself:

"A number of questions are raised by the incredibly bedraggled, tired and crushed condition of this once savage, dapper and pampered ruler who was discovered in a hole in the ground on Saturday, December 13:

1. The length and state of his hair indicated he had not seen a barber or even had a shampoo for several weeks.

2. The wild state of his beard indicated he had not shaved for the same period

That's right. Being on the run, he could have at least gotten to Great Clips, right?

3. The hole dug in the floor of a cellar in a farm compound near Tikrit was primitive indeed – 6ft across and 8ft across with minimal sanitary arrangements - a far cry from his opulent palaces.

Yep. And Anne Frank's cramped, miserable Annex was proof that the Nazis had caught her two years before her "capture", too...

4. Saddam looked beaten and hungry.

So did I - and it only took ten years of marriage to do it. But I digress...

5. Detained trying to escape were two unidentified men. Left with him were two AK-47 assault guns and a pistol, none of which were used.

You've been sleeping in a hole in the ground. You've been moving four times a day for the past eight months. You're hungry, exhausted, 66 years old, and under mind-numbing stress. So you're supposed to make the "rational" decision at that point to open fire on an overwhelming number of American troops?

Alternate explanation: Hussein would seem to have an immense capacity for delusion (vide Gulf War I). Perhaps he really did think he could negotiate. I'd imagine it wouldn't have been the first time.

6. The hole had only one opening. It was not only camouflaged with mud and bricks – it was blocked. He could not have climbed out without someone on the outside removing the covering.

It was blocked with styrofoam and carpet. Even Howard Dean's reasoning could have pushed it open, if reports are correct.

7. And most important, $750,000 in 100-dollar notes were found with him (a pittance for his captors who expected a $25m reward)– but no communications equipment of any kind, whether cell phone or even a carrier pigeon for contacting the outside world.

Hussein may have been delusional, but he wasn't apparently as stupid as the author, or as Democrats.com; Hussein knows (and learned the hard way, twice) that the US can trace electronic communications better than anyone in the world. Couriers - trusted ones, at that - would have been the only reliable means of communicating - not that one would expect Democrats.com to know, or care if it did.

But let's take DEBKA's point - the one Democrats.com jumped on like a starving Schnauzer on a hot dog - that Hussein was captured by his own people, and "sold" to the US for the reward money.

So what?

That would be what the $25 million reward program was for! We didn't care who dropped the dime on Hussein - be it a rustic and hearty Iraqi peasant, or a dirtbag Fedayeen with visions of walking down Fifth Avenue with Heidi Klum on his arm; so what? It's a fair cop, and money well spent!

Sez Democrats.com:

Interesting theory. Also noteworthy is the fact Saddam's capture followed right on the heels of James Baker's appointment for Iraq "debt restructuring," when Bush badly needs the support of Europe. Plus that annoying Halliburton scandal...

In the Democrat.com world - like that of many Democrat bloggers - the data always fit the conclusion.

Posted by Mitch at December 16, 2003 06:37 AM