{"id":89635,"date":"2025-05-20T05:03:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-20T10:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=89635"},"modified":"2025-05-20T07:57:04","modified_gmt":"2025-05-20T12:57:04","slug":"one-sunday-morning-at-brunchily","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/?p=89635","title":{"rendered":"One Sunday Morning At “Brunchily”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

SCENE:  It’s a Sunday morning on the patio a “Brunchily”, a breakfast place in Northeast Minneapolis.   The usual crowd is settling in for mimosa brunch; 30-something SEO marketing managers in their man-buns, recruiters for ad agencies with their emotional support dogs, directors of local arts non-profits and DEI consultancies in their Lululemons and pajama bottoms all gather to nosh.  Sitting amid, and indistinguishable from, them are Avery LIBRELLE, Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, Edmund DUCHEY, Brian FURIOUS and Cat SCAT<\/a> – local progressive social media luminaries and activists.  <\/em><\/p>\n

BIRKENSTOCK:  So Ed?  Do you still own a Tesla?<\/p>\n

DUCHEY:  God, no!  I sold it to some redneck yahoo from Scandia for $500!<\/p>\n

FURIOUS:  Didn’t you pay $40,000 for it? <\/p>\n

DUCHEY:  No!  I had a loan <\/em>for $40,000 for it!   <\/p>\n

LIBRELLE:  You sure owned her!<\/p>\n

DUCHEY:  IKR?   I figure $3,950 is nothing to donate to tearing down the Elon Musk. <\/p>\n

(LIBRELLE, BIRKENSTOCK and FURIOUS hiss theatrically<\/em>). <\/p>\n

(DEVADIP ULYSSES PLOOBRADOR, mystic prophet and self-described wise man who also doubles as a UPS and Doordash driver, is sitting at the next table, nursing an egg white frittata)<\/em><\/p>\n

PLOOBRADOR:  I’m sorry, and I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but it’s actually $39,500. <\/p>\n

DUCHEY: Are you sure about that?  I was a staffer for the DFL’s budget committee, I know my numbers!<\/p>\n

PLOOBRADOR:   Quite.  (He returns to his group<\/em>).<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE:  So the DFL gave in on healthcare for undocumented pre-citizens.  <\/p>\n

DUCHEY:  Ugh. Don’t get me started.  Healthcare is a right. <\/p>\n

BIRKENSTOCK:  You forgot housing!<\/p>\n

FURIOUS:  And a Housing!<\/p>\n

SCAT: And a living wage!<\/p>\n

BIRKENSTOCK:  And paid leave!<\/p>\n

FURIOUS:  And restorative justice for all!<\/p>\n

DUCHEY:   And rail transit!<\/p>\n

SCAT: Subways!<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE:  To leave more room for bikes!<\/p>\n

(The four take toasts from their mimosas, and signal for refills<\/em>)<\/p>\n

SCAT:  Oh, can you believe the police chief?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/twitter.com\/deenafaywinter\/status\/1923898487818592742\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

FURIOUS:\u00a0 Pffft.\u00a0 He’s mansplaining.\u00a0<\/p>\n

BIRKENSTOCK:\u00a0 What a pig.<\/p>\n

SCAT (to a passing waitress – Yselda MARINO – a young Latina who commuted in from Fridley to work the morning shift<\/em>):\u00a0 HEY!\u00a0 Whan I ordered a mushroom frittata, you didn’t say these were button\u00a0<\/em>mushrooms?<\/p>\n

MARINO:\u00a0 Sorry – I’ll take it back if you’d like.<\/p>\n

SCAT:\u00a0 Damn straight!<\/p>\n

MARINO (muttering in Spanish as she takes the 1\/3 eaten plate<\/em>) You never tip.\u00a0 You’re lucky I didn’t chew on them first.\u00a0<\/p>\n

FURIOUS:\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 Is that guy out of touch or what?<\/p>\n

DUCHEY:\u00a0 It’s like – has he even seen\u00a0<\/em>George Floyd Square?<\/p>\n

LIBRELLE:\u00a0 Totally!<\/p>\n

And SCENE<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SCENE:  It’s a Sunday morning on the patio a “Brunchily”, a breakfast place in Northeast Minneapolis.   The usual crowd is settling in for mimosa brunch; 30-something SEO marketing managers in their man-buns, recruiters for ad agencies with their emotional support dogs, directors of local arts non-profits and DEI consultancies in their Lululemons and pajama bottoms […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-89635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89635","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=89635"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89635\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":89647,"href":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89635\/revisions\/89647"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=89635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=89635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shotinthedark.info\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=89635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}