My semi-annual Linguistic Hit Lists haven’t completely changed the language – but they’ve made a good start.
My demands for the extinction of the terms”Bloggy”, ”Truthy/truthiness”, “take (something) to the next level” and “Dee di deeeee”have been largely very effective; most are considered signs of bad breeding today.
The war on “Hel-looo” is also proceeding apace; it seems to be on the ropes, although pockets still occur in various hYpStR bars and high schools here and there.
“It Is What It Is” is a stubborn one – something of a linguistic cockroach, or the Taliban in Helmand Province, it’s actually made a bit of a comeback. I will declare a linguistic surge against this piece of language rot.
“Internets” is a somewhat troubling case, inasmuch as like most technology-related terms it is easily replaced by other equally noxious forms – “intertubes”, “interwebs”, “interbloggies” or whatever the fine flaming flexible fowl the “I think I sound hip, but I really sound like I lobotomized myself with a drinking straw” crowd comes up with. This will be a long fight, but I know in my heart we will be victorious.
But while there is a long way to go on some of my previous linguistic hits, we must redouble our efforts. So I am going to add some new terms for 2010:
- Processes, when pronounced “prah-sess-EEZ”. A standard oldie-but-goodie of the not-that-bright execu-drone who wants to sound like he’s talking two levels above his pay grade or education level, this phrase actually would justify a new corporate McCarthyism to actively stigmatize its users. Worse, an even more malignant dialect version ,”prO-sess-EEZ”, with a long “O”, is appearing, showing that this term may be undergoing an even more pretentious, “one-upping” version. We’ll need to redouble our efforts to scourge this one.
- “Don’t Be That Guy”. Within the past year, this phrase, which started with people who auditioned for “Jersey Shore” but were improbably too stupid and shank-headed to make the cut, has made huge inroads into the language. Preferred responses when confronted with it: “No, genius – I’m THAT guy”. Extra credit; sing “Single malt, football, war flicks, THAT GUY, Hot Wings, bratwurst … Is THAT GUYYYYYY – he’s dripping on fresh paint; he’s everything THAT GUY aaaaaiiiiint“. It usually shuts them up. This one is going critical, folks. (Note my clever swoop into retro; “going critical” was on not a few hit lists ten years ago. Yes, it is a little like playing with old explosives; don’t try it unless you’re a licensed Linguistic Engineer).
- It Is What It Is – I’m putting this cliche, the favorite cliche refuge of the faux-zen bizspeaker, back on the hit list for a record second time; my goal is that by the end of this year we can look at the phrase and realize it was what it was.
It’s a short list, but an important one. Let’s keep our language free of this kind of bilge, shall we?