How The DFL Views Itself On An Evening At A Strip Club

I took a rare trip to a Minneapolis strip joint the other evening.

I was sitting at the bar drinking a vodka/sour when I saw a prominent DFL legislator getting a lapdance from Maria, a cute latina who’s been working there for a couple of months.  He was enjoying it in the way that DFLers always express enjoyment – by complaining and demanding.

Tell me your little hermano needs to have his croup looked at, and could I preese herp he see a docta!”, he yelled, not a trace of mirth in his face.

“Er”, Maria said,  “Sure.  You gonna tip me?”

The DFL legislator shouted “Everybody!  Pony up so that I can tip Consuela, here!”

Maria got up and walked away.

Hah, hah, hah” yelled the prominent DFL legislator.  “Your Hermano or whatever his name is will never see a doctor!

He got up and finished his drink, and started staggering toward the door.  I followed him, intending to ask what his problem was.

We walked out onto Washington Avenue and walked toward the parking ramp.  I was walking to catch him when he stopped by a drunk sitting on the sidewalk leaning against the wall of a plumbing supply store.  He leaned down and grabbed the bum’s bottle of Mad Dog and took a long, greedy swig.  He then tossed the bottle into the street.  “When you win elections, you get to keep your booze.  When I win, I get to take your booze!  Hahahaha!”

He staggered away as the bum looked, nonplussed. 

I rule the woooooorld!”, he bellowed as he walked through the door of the ramp.  “I can do anything I waaaaaaaant!”

I bring this episode up only because Charlie Quimby of Across the Great Divide is working so tirelessly to improve America’s supply of metaphorical observations. He was writing about a tweet by Kevin Watterson, who is a communications guy for the House GOP Caucus.


That means he is a government employee who works for people who derive at least part of their livelihood from the government, and he draws a pay check from the tax payers.

Right.  Because as libertarian as I am, even I would balk at privatizing the legislature.  Perhaps I should aim higher?

I digress:

So it’s curious that he would tweet something like this:

Sat on a bench in Target for 20 wating for pharma 2 open. Guy next to me the whole time gets up & opens it. Imagine when he’s a govt worker.

Got that? A guy who’s a government worker observes a private-sector employee and uses him to impugn government workers.

I’m trying to figure out what the problem is.  Is it that Quimby believes government workers (and future ones!) should all march in solidarity with each other?  That a government employee has no right to criticize his fellow employees or future colleagues (much less the legislation that our current pack of nutslaps are trying to pass into law?)   That a government worker should lead the lesser proles by example?

What was Watterson’s offense?  That he, a “government worker”, doesn’t want to waste time (yaaay, Kevin!), and sees, correctly, that government healthcare will be an even more catastrophic time-suck than it is today in the not-too distant future?

I’m not going to argue that government at any level is a total paragon of efficiency, enterprise or long-term decision-making.

(And yet they’re the ones Quimby’s side wants running your family’s healthcare!)

But the people arguing the loudest for defunding the public sector seem to believe that government is incapable, while the private sector is a model of efficiency, creativity and adaptation that will save America from the cesspool of creeping socialism.

Got that? Watterson sits apparently inert waiting for a private business to open — presumably at the time it has established its business hours — and uses the occasion to demean any government employee who might do the same.


And better yet, Watterson is right to do it

Because Kevin, today, can go to the sluggard’s manager and complain, and likely get results; ever tried to complain to government about government?

Because Kevin today can voice his disgust at Target by turning on his heels and going to WalMart, DVS, Cub, Walgreens and dozens of other pharmacies who are happy not only to fill his prescription but will do it when they say they will, if Target won’t.  (And so Target will, too – or they’ll leave the business).  What imperative is there for government to improve service?  To whom is government accountable?  Fellow bureaucrats, themselves accountable to more layers of bureaucrats.

Watterson was right. 

Next week: My evening with three prominent DFL legislators at a dog fight.

12 thoughts on “How The DFL Views Itself On An Evening At A Strip Club

  1. You’ll never convince CQ, but thanks for trying. The most appalling story of government inertia and waste I can remember reading in the past few years appeared in the New Yorker magazine, hardly a conservative/libertarian organ. “The Rubber Room” is a place in New York City for teachers that the school board is trying to fire. Strict union control mandates that the teachers be paid 100% salary and accumulate 100% retirement benefits while waiting for their cases to be heard. The lag is a year or two. All they have to do is show up in the Rubber Room and spend the day there. Kind of like the way the gangsters in The Sopranos hang out at construction sites without actually working. Look up the article, read it and you will be tearing your hair out by the end.

  2. Yes Kevin Can! Walgreens recently bought Snyders, which was our pharmacy of choice. The store was about six blocks from my house. Walgreens closed it and transferred our perscriptions to one of it’s stores. I don’t like Walgreens, so I transferred our perscriptions to a CVS store. What happens when they’re all owned by the government?

  3. golfdoc – do you mean like a director of public works who resigns because a news crew caught city workers taking 3+ hour coffee breaks instead of filling potholes – yet he retains a six figure salary by stepping back into his old job?

    “Under St. Paul civil service rules, he has a right to that job,” said city HR director Angie Nalezny. “And he has exercised that right.”

  4. The “Rubber Room” piece was also on that noted right-wing talk show, This American Life.

  5. Only Quimby could spend 204 words dissecting a 140 character (or less) tweet.

    Oh, don’t sell me short.

  6. Q) How many government workers does it take to do a job?
    A) You must take that up with our union BA when he returns from lunch.

  7. Kermit,
    You know damn well teh Peeeeev will soon bumble in here and drool out 816 words dissecting the title of Mitch’s column.

    (Oh er! That sounds a bit rude!)

  8. Q) How many government workers does it take to do a job?
    A) That question is above my pay grade, we first need to hire consultants to determine what way the job can be done to meet all governmental regulations. Then we need to have other consultants check the consultants results, because by then the laws will have changed. We will be back to you in 2015 with a plan, maybe. In the meantime please continue to give us a union wage to sit on our asses and do nothing.

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