…to hear that America’s sweetheart, Lindsay Lohan, is accused of drunk driving and hoovering up enoug Bolivian Marching Powder to kick-start John Belusi’s corpse:

We just wrapped up our live, online feed of the Beverly Hills Sheriff’s Department press conference regarding Lindsay Lohan’s DUI charges and here’s what we learned:

She had coke in the car! At the presser, it was announced that narcotics were found in the car by officers at the time the vehicle was towed and impounded. You can see in X17’s video, Lindsay’s bodyguard Jaz driving the wrecked car away from the scene of the accident just after it occurred (didn’t he think to take that white powdery substance outta the glove box?!).

As many in the media had been speculating (including us), Lindsay appears to have fallen off the wagon and had done so soon after she finished her rebah program at Wonderland a couple months back. X17 photogs witness Lindsay out on almost a nightly basis and she’s not a 2am kinda girl, she regularly gets home at 5 and 6 in the morning and my personal opinion is that you usually don’t make it that far without some gas in the tank, if you know what I mean …

All of my illusions are shattered.

Nobody tell Sisyphus.