No Way No How Signs Of Collapse Nosirreebob

One of the symptoms of a strong, thriving downtown, is when multiple outlets of a popular store chain, selling a common addictive product to locals and passersby, close en masse.

Haines – good news! – that’s exactly what’s happening!

Minnesota-based Caribou Coffee is reportedly closing some of its downtown Minneapolis shops in the near future.

Four stores, including three in the skyway, will be closing at the end of next month, as a part of Minneapolis’ continued renaissance.

13 thoughts on “No Way No How Signs Of Collapse Nosirreebob

  1. A lot of the workers who worked downtown for their jobs no longer do so. I work from home and part of my morning ritual is to grab a cuppa to go with my breakfast. Within a mile of my modest home, there are two Caribous, a Starbucks, an excellent local coffee shop, two Holidays and two Speedways, and a McDonald’s. I pay $8.99/month for the coffee deal at the closest Holiday (not great, but certainly acceptable). Until and unless someone gives me, and countless others, an incentive to go back to the downtown habitrail, those businesses are done.

  2. I believe the correct response to those businesses closing is “OK, I never liked ’em anyway”.

  3. It’s bad when Wal-Mart has problems, per Pig’s comment, because they tend to do very well in recessions as the middle class abandon’s higher retailers to save money.

  4. Like you Mr. D, I have a Caribou conveniently located in the Lund’s store and another one at Normandale Lakes office towers, that are both less than a mile from my house. There is a Holiday across Normandale at the corner of 84th Street. If I want to go a couple of miles to Old Shakopee and France, there is a Caribou there, as well as an excellent local place called Mugshots Coffee Company. I’ll grab a cup at one of these places on occasion, but I choose to make my own at home. I grind my own beans, usually Cameron’s, because they roast it in Shakopee, so it’s fairly fresh. I also run my water through a reverse osmosis water purifier, which makes a huge difference in the flavor.

    On another note, a mile friend of mine is a regional manager for Bed, Bath and Beyond. He’s going to retire in June. He claims that BB&B’s wokeness in dropping “My Pillow” products, was another shot to already weak sales. Their data for the Twin Cities metro area, showed that people who purchased those products, which aren’t the cheapest in the category, purchased an additional $100 – 200 worth of stuff.

  5. There was an article, in the Star & Sickle I think, about Aldi’s closing in N Mpls. The story related the angst the locals are feeling, and about how the area is a “food desert”.

    It wasn’t said, of course, but 10/10 it’s closing because theft has eaten too far into their margins. I suppose most of the shoppers didn’t steal, but they probably knew who the thief’s are and chose to stay silent.

    They’re learning the hard way that shoplifting isn’t the “victimless crime” the degenerate press says it is.

    Thankfully, y’all have a choo choo to bring those poor, underserved shoppers out to your local grocery. Unfortunately, the thieves will head out there, too.

  6. Walmart has turned loss prevention into an art, and the cops are always Johnny on the spot, because they know the people in there stealing are the same ones doing heinous shit everywhere else, too.

    The reason, I think, that “Dollar stores” manage to survive in vibrant, urban communities is their inventory consists of cheap, worthless shit. It’s simply too much effort to steal enough of it to make a dent in the store’s profit margin.

    The most expensive items in those stores are food products, all of it is frozen, highly processed shit, of course. But that is what sells in those areas.

    It’s bad when Walmart picks up the tent and leaves, but when a Dollar store goes, you know you’ve really hit rock bottom.

  7. Im always amazed by the thieves that bring their drugs with them to go steal or fight at the Walmart. 80% of the arrests I read about down here include a charge for possession of a drug, too.

    They also seem to like to go park at Walmart to use their drugs, and pass out in their ‘90 Chevy beater…you know the one; dented on all sides, cracked windshield, no grill, plastic wrap rear window, red tape rear stop lights, and running on a doughnut spare tire.

  8. Well, libturds were always against Wallmarts and big box stores – that’s where the unwashed shop. No big box stores, no unwashed – isn’t that libturd logic? So relax sheople, all is going according to plan.

  9. Blade,
    You gave me a chuckle when you mentioned “doughnut spare tire”. I can’t tell you how many beat up cars I see on the freeway, driving 70-90 mph. Last week, I parked next to a beat up 2013 or 14 Chevy Cruze with one that had no tread on it. Unbelievable how people will scold someone for not wearing a mask, but have no problem driving unsafe cars.

  10. Dollar General stores survive by taking in a truckload of stuff every week, and pushing it out the door and making a tiny profit on each transaction. It is retail stripped down to its basics. Everything (including food) has a very long shelf life.
    It is retailing done on a zero trust model, I suppose Walmart is the same way.
    You can’t steal much that is worth much, even if you are a cashier. There is no opportunity to steal a $500 TV from a dollar general store. There are no small, concealable items worth more than $10 that aren’t locked up or behind the counter.
    The people who shop at DG are people who want to save money on basics but do not want to deal with Walmart’s huge floor space.
    You see a lot of young families, single parents, and older, single men and women shopping at dollar general.
    I was surprised to learn that an awful lot of shop lifting at dollar stores is done by girls in their teens stealing cheap cosmetics. It is a crazy world.

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