Periodically, I take out (rhetorical) contracts on bits and pieces of the English language that need to be communally expunged.
Every once in a while, it seems to work. A few years ago, I demanded that the word “bloggy” disappear from the language. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that linguistic abomination in print.
So it’s time for another round of linguistic executions.
- “Internets”: Usually used ironically – to show how very much more clever the user is than the madding hordes on the “internets” – the term is an offshoot of the ancient (in Internet terms) Usenet habit of taking a newbie mistake and making it part of the vocabulary (“This is sucks” – alt.aol.sucks, 1993). The problem is, to be anything but ironic, these turnabouts are predicated on the user actually being more clever than the person committing the malaprop. A casual reading shows this rarely to be the case. Please stop.
- “Truthy” (“truthiness”): When everything is “ironic” all the time, then nothing is ironic. And if we extinguished not only the word but the concept, perhaps John Stewart would be able to do something other than the same show, week in, week out, forever and ever, amen…
- “Dee di deeeee!”: Unless you are Carlos Mencia, using this phrase suits you better to be a target than a user of the phrase. You’ve been warned. Not Carlos? No se va.
- “Hel-looooo?”: Time for a new phrase to indicate your nonplussment at your fellow human’s concentrated denseness (in your enlightened opinion).
- “It Is What It Is”: Like “going forward” and “at this point in time”, after about two trillion uses, It Is meaningless.