Almost Cops

Back when I worked as a nightclub DJ, it was easy to meet Green Berets, “Delta” members, Navy SEALs, former fighter pilots, CIA agents, and – my favorite – uncercover narcotics officers – at the bar.  Especially around last call.

My favorite?  One evening, a very aggressive little fella spent half an hour boasting about his physical prowess by the DJ booth (a gross misapplication of resources, if you catch my drift).   Then a fight broke out.   The bar’s staff – the bouncers and some of the bar staff – began moving toward the fight.

The little fella got up and joined them, telling people to move back or he’s arrest them, flashing a “badge” at bystanders, telling them – and at least one bouncer – that he’d arrest them if they interfered with him.

I got a quick look; it was a badge for County Sheriff’s Department SCUBA volunteer – basically about as official for purposes of arrest powers as Dwight Schrute’s Lackawanna County Reserve Sheriff’s Reserve uniform.

I pointed this out to the bouncers when the real police were on the way (as they were very often at that particular bar).  The little fella scampered away like he’d heard there was a steroid sale at GNC.

Anyway – it’s nothing new.  It’s just that some people get more into the game than others.


5 thoughts on “Almost Cops

  1. Is it sad that my first reaction was “Oh, the cops don’t want him competing with them for overtime.”

    The cops never had the respect of the upper class, who see them as uniformed thugs intended to keep the non-uniformed thugs in line. The cops lost the respect of the lower classes long ago, if they ever had it. The cops survive now solely on the respect of the middle class. If we ever conclude cops are merely uniformed thugs and decide to do away with them in favor of private security, they’ll lose all their perqs and privileges.

  2. He’s got the badge, white shirt, and gut. But, his utility belt is really lacking. How can you fight crime without an ASP, Mace, three pairs handcuffs, a tazer, and at least four quick draw magazines for your firearm?

    Joe D – your statement brings to mind something I was reflecting on the other day. F@#K the Police came on my playlist the other day, and I got thinking about that, Cop Killer, and 911 is a Joke from the mid/late 80’s. Obviously, the problem had been there prior to that. What is it that brought the problem about? Most LEO I know got into it because they wanted to do good for the community. Is it an organizational issue that causes problems? The way they are perceived? Us vs Them?

    Anyhow, I didn’t figure anything out, since Partridge Family came on next, which got me wondering about where family bands went… Squirrel

  3. I was all set to join the Green Beret’s, but they didn’t have a uniform that would fit me. They said my penis was too big.

  4. Reminds me of the jokers who sell “concealed carry badges.” Why the frick would I need a badge in addition to my permit? Only those who think the permit gives them some special power would want one.

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