Unsportsmanlike Conduct

Are you sure you’ve thought through this lawsuit, Chris?

Chris Kluwe potentially kicks open a Pandora’s Box.

Given Chris Kluwe’s love of role-playing board games, it shouldn’t surprise that his latest actions have more angles than 23-sided dice.

On Tuesday, former Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe was demanding that the team, through the law firm of Robins, Kaplan, Miller & Ciresi L.L.P, release the six-month independent investigation into Kluwe’s allegations that he was let go due to his gay marriage activism.  By Friday night, Kluwe (or at least his attorneys) might have wished the Vikings had kept the findings to themselves.

The 29-page summary of the investigation (pdf warning on the link) was notable for two things: 1) proving Kluwe’s story that current Special Teams coach Mike Priefer did indeed make his “nuke the gays” comment; 2) proving little else.  Instead, the investigation brought to light an incident of Kluwe mocking the Jerry Sandusky trial and generally negatively commented on Kluwe’s final years as a Viking:

The record does not support the claim that the Vikings released Kluwe because of his activism on behalf of marriage equality, but instead because of his declining punting performance in 2012 and potentially because of the distraction caused by Kluwe’s activism, as opposed to the substance of such.

Throughout the independent investigation, interviewees characterized Kluwe in similar
ways: someone who is highly intelligent, reads a lot, a prankster or jokester, comfortable with the media and seems to enjoy attention. [Vikings kicker Blair] Walsh stated that Kluwe spent much of his free time in the locker room doing interviews. Walsh also said that Kluwe “loves the attention,” “was focused on everything but football,” and wanted to be in the spotlight.

The fallout was sadly predictable.

The perpetually indignant community – Kluwe’s political base – expressed outrage (outrage!) that the Patron Saint of Punting was a “hypocrite” for engaging in the same sort of outrageously inappropriate locker room behavior that Kluwe supposedly was fighting against by his threatened lawsuit.  While many former media supporters were throwing Kluwe under the bus, the man at the center of the report took to twitter to vent, sparing even with gay marriage supporters and potentially getting the Vikings (and maybe himself) deeper into the dark waters of legal action:

Color me unimpressed with the outrage over Kluwe’s Sandusky jokes.  In the pantheon of vulgar Kluwe behavior/comments, his exposed butt cheeks aren’t even as crass as most of his Deadspin articles.  But Kluwe’s accusation that he (and presumably, the Vikings) knew about statutory rape and did nothing is a world away from Kluwe’s STD shots at Mankato or calling NFL lockout opponents “assh*le f**kwits.”  Kluwe is potentially an accomplice in this (alleged) crime at worst.  At best, he kept silent about actions against minors, but the words of a hot-headed, idiotic Special Teams coach were somehow his personal Rubicon…after he was fired.

Kluwe’s defenders, like ProFootballTalk.com’s Mike Florio, are trying to poke holes in the investigation’s conclusions over the Vikings’ assessment on Kluwe’s punting abilities, setting the stage for Kluwe’s threatened lawsuit that he was dismissed for his beliefs, not his on-field actions.  Despite all the vitriol, the merits of any potential Kluwe lawsuit are few and far between, and minus a heretofore undiscovered “smoking gun” document or testimony, a legal Trojan Horse for the entire NFL should Kluwe prevail.

NFL history, and Minnesota Vikings’ history, is replete with older veterans being replaced for players deemed to have a larger upside who can be signed for less money.  In the last several seasons, the Vikings alone have cut ties with still capable players like kicker Ryan Longwell or defensive end Jared Allen.  These moves aren’t always right or popular (SITD argued against the Allen move months ago) or consistent across franchises.  Denver’s punter, Britton Colquitt, is the highest paid punter in the NFL, earning $3.9 million a year for a 46.1 yards per punt average.  Chris Kluwe was making $1.5 million, due to increase to over $2 million, for a career average of 44.4 yards per punt.  Jeff Locke kicked an average of 44.2 yards for roughly $400,000 for the Vikings in 2013.  Is any of that logical?  By NFL standards, for better or worse, yes.

If Chris Kluwe can convince a jury that a $1.5 million punter with the league’s 22nd best average cannot be cut for a younger, cheaper option because said player is outspoken, then the NFL’s entire collective bargaining agreement will be up for grabs.  In a league with an openly gay 7th round draft pick who isn’t assured of making the team, what will stop current and future NFL players from adopting controversial political/social causes if they believe doing so will complicate their release?  Will the next Tim Tebow decide that his Christianity, not his throwing motion, was the motivating factor in his cutting, and sue his former employer?

A Kluwe victory (again, barring new evidence) means a more political NFL – an outcome that can only hurt the most popular sporting brand in the country.

13 thoughts on “Unsportsmanlike Conduct

  1. I heard Barreiro and Ron Rosenbaum (attorney to the MN stars) discussing this last Thursday. Legal eagle Rosenbaum was mystified how Kluwe had any standing for a suit since he is not a “protected class”. He may be in a (no)class by himself, but it is not a protected one, especially in an “at will” employment state.

  2. Theoretically, Kluwe was a member of the NFLPA at the time of his dismissal, so the NFLPA could file a grievance on his behalf, but I don’t suppose that they’re going to be particularly eager to take up the cudgels for the Sparklepunter.*

    I do know this much — as a Packers fan, I appreciate Kluwe’s efforts to undermine and distract the Vikings as they attempt to start a new era. I would also assume that Bears fans also are grateful for Kluwe’s fine work.

    *stole that one from Joe Doakes — thanks, Joe!

  3. Mr D, I am unable to attend Green Bay Packers, Inc. shareholder meeting this week. I voted my proxy on line. But I am happy to do my part to further distract Team Purple. If a coach making gay jokes is a “bias crime”, then if the punter makes anti-Catholic remarks, that must also be a bias crime. I shall start a movement to call for the Vikings to have Catholic-American sensitivity training.

  4. Chris Kluwe is to gay rights activists as Fred Phelps was to Christianity.

  5. 10 bucks says this guy was a bully and called people fags on a regular basis in high school/college

  6. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

  7. As a Bears fan, like our gracious host, I also approve of the work of the Sparklepunter.

    It just shows how Minneapolis has been a “Cold Omaha” for decades, and given his record and the venue for his lawsuit, it will be HIGHLY entertaining to see him try to explain around the fact that he was a locker room distraction while working for the ViQueens. The man will be lucky if he doesn’t get a few contempt of court citations or even a perjury conviction out of the deal.

    And suffice it to say that I am shocked, SHOCKED, to see that the ViQueens locker room did not resemble a women’s circle at the local Lutern church. SHOCKED. But I hope that it kills the new Crystal Cathedral.

  8. Mr. D: I confess – I’m busted: another blogger originated that name and I stole it from him. I won’t say who because it would give Dog Gone the vapors. I’m just considerate that way.


  9. Sign him up for the Alec Baldwin gay patronage award.

    “Reads a lot …” I wonder how many pages are needed to win that identifying characteristic in an NFL locker room?

  10. By the way the Redskins measure metrics Joe, 2-3 pages, a year

  11. IMHO Kluwe’s (and possibly Ventura’s) actions further warrant Tort Reform and for the courts to force the party filing a frivolous lawsuit to pay all attorney and court costs, that’ll free up the courts.

  12. It’ll leave a lot of trial lawyers out of a job though, there’s one group I wouldn’t mind seeing in the unemployment line.

  13. Per Scott’s comment, the thought of “loser pays” and its impact on attention whores like the Sparklepunter ™ is very intriguing……

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