I can’t remember the last time I picked up the City Pages.

The alma mater of the likes of James Lileks and Steve “Mister Furious” Perry, the Pages  – which was sort of a wannabe Village Voice even before the VV’s parent company bought the freebie ‘zine out some decade and a half ago – were once a formidable journalistic operation.  Under Perry, the paper did a lot good, solid reporting; they especially shone at doing the long-form, in depth reporting that the dailies had been de-emphasizing even before the industry’s current woes.

But lately?  Not only do I not pick up the paper from the bins on the street, I don’t even check the website anymore.  Indeed, I don’t even go to the CP’s RSS feed.

Well, OK.  Every week or two I’ll skim the RSS feeds; it’s the lowest possible impact on my day.

And I usually regret it.

Last week, Sun Country Airlines – the Twin Cities-based former charter line which has been trying for a little over a decade to make a go of daily service – announced that they were making changes to their service, including some new destinations.

Bear in mind, Sun Country’s had a bunch of strikes against them; they branched out from the lucrative charter business just in time for the airline industry to go through its huge spasm of contraction.  They had the same fuel price problems, and “nobody’s travelling due to the recession” problems that every other airline’s had.

And then they got bought by alleged ponzi artist Tom Petters.

To their credit, Sun Country had enough business savvy to survive the collapse of Petters’ empire.  And last week, in an attempt to emerge from the situation, they announced some new destinations to try to keep the financial pipeline flowing.

Emily Kaiser takes up the story from her – words fail – uniquely trival perspective:

We were sitting on the edge of our seats today when Sun Country airlines said they would be announcing a new destination from Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. We had our eyes on warm weather wonders like Mexico, Puerto Rico, more California.

[Because when Sun Country is figuring out how to survive and keep its hundreds of employees working, “what can we do to attract a bunch of wage serfs from broke “alternative” newspapers” was the first question they answered.  But we digress. – Ed.]

They even had a big announcement out at the Mall of America like this was going to blow all of us away.

Drum roll please…. They are now flying to Branson, Mo.

Wait, what?

Wait what, what?

They’re going to start flying to where people with actual money are going, and where not every airline currently flies.  Because while

More from the FOX:

    

Branson is the 27th city served by Sun Country out of the Minneapolis-St. Paul hub.

The airline will fly to the popular tourist destination Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays and will feature a $79 one-way* introductory fare. Sun Country offers the only non-stop service to Branson out of the Twin Cities.

The Star Tribune tried to look on the bright side. It’s a good wholesome place for losers:

“Losers” with money to spend are something that smart businesspeople call “Winners”. 

For years, Branson has been a popular tourist attraction, with a wholesome lineup of musical acts as a counterbalance to the excesses of Las Vegas.

Among Branson’s offerings of late: ’50s at the Hop, the Oak Ridge Boys and Sunday Gospel Jubilee. “The addition of Branson is a positive step for Sun Country’s future,” said Stan Gadek, chairman and CEO of Sun Country.

We beg to differ. Boring and tarnishing the airline’s image as a carrier that actually brings you to fun and warm places.

Er, Emily?  They still fly to Ixtapa, Cancun, St. Maarten, South Padre, Cozumel, Cabo, Puerto Vallarta…

…all the places they’ve always taken the bobbleheaded children of excessive privilege to marinade their brains in overpriced Sex On The Beaches and ponder why the grownup world is so mean.