SCENE: Mitch BERG is rigging a small “Snark”-class sailboat out for a day of sailing on Lake Minnetonka. Among the modifications: the stepping of fore and mizzen masts, and the conversion of all three to square rigging, and a black with white-stripe and black “gunports” paint job, to convert the 14 foot boat into a small model of the USS Constitution.
BERG notices Avery LIBRELLE paddling past on a recumbent bicycle that’s had two outrigger floats attached to the frame, and paddles clipped to the drive wheel, making the recumbant into a crude pedal-powered catamaran.
LIBRELLE notices BERG before he can duck below the gunwales of the small boat.
LIBRELLE: Ahoy, Merg!
BERG: Er, ahoy, matey. Interesting ride.
LIBRELLE: Yeah, I paid for it with a government “green energy” grant.
BERG: Of course you did. What’s up?
LIBRELLE: I’m on my way to a float-in observing the 44th anniversary of the Kent State shootings.
BERG: Huh. 44 years. Wow. I remember seeing that on the TV when I was a little kid.
LIBRELLE: Further proof that we the Masses need to be on guard against totalitarian rule!
LIBRELLE: Nixon ordered those murders!
BERG: Er, it was more a matter of National Guardsmen panicking under pressure. There was no conspiracy – at least, none that 44 years of constant scrutiny has found.
LIBRELLE: Only if you believe the conservative mainstream media.
BERG: Er, right. So speaking of coverups, how about Benghazi?
LIBRELLE: Oh, stop. That was two whole years ago!
LIBRELLE pedals briskly away – running up onto a sandbar.