Did you know I’m a clairvoyant?
Either did anyone else!
SCENE: Tanya Grumpleman-Morriss, 21, a Grievance Studies major at Bard College, is making her new sign for the next day’s “Occupy” Rally. The entire scene takes place in her head.
GRUMPLEMAN-MORRISS: My last sign was such a success…
…I need to come up with something equally catchy, profound and cogent.
GRUMPLEMAN-MORRISS rips a big square out of a box for a big-screen TV.
GRUMPLEMAN-MORRISS: Hm. It’s a beautiful night. The stars are like crystals. Hm. There we go! “It’s a Crystal Night for the 1%”
She scibbles the saying frantically onto the sign. Then she goes to the dorm fridge and grabs a Red Bull.
GRUMPLEMAN-MORRISS: (quaffing the Red Bull) Hmm. I’m on a roll. What else? I’m so tired of having to worry about the future. We need to come up with a…a final solution!
She frantically tears out another square from a Macintosh box.
GRUMPLEMAN-MORRISS: ” We need a Final Solution to rebalance our society!” (Whispers sotto voce): Perfect!
She gets up and makes a cup of coffee with one of those Keurig individual coffee makers.
GRUMPLEMAN-MORRISS: Maybe we need to ennoble the concept for working for a living…Hey! Perfect!
She frantically rips out another square.
GRUMPLEMAN-MORRISS: “Dear 1%: Work makes you free!”
She admires her handiwork.
GRUMPLEMAN-MORRISS: Goddess, those Teabaggers are culturally illiterate!
We’ll hope that the young lady is ignorant of the historical meaning of her sign. As the Dead Kennedys explained back in the day, if she got her wish and a cultural revolution was imposed, she’d the first to go.
Given the leanings and grammar skills of many of the OWS crowd, I’m expecting to see a sign urging us to “Get With the Pogram!”
And remember kids, if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao you ain’t going to make it with anyone anyhow.
Arbeit Macht Frie!
OK, funny. But “Either did anyone else!”? Wouldn’t “Neither” have been more grammatically correct? As long as we are critiquing cardboard signs?
Workers of the World Untie!
If I were her dad, she would be out of the will! 🙂
Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot
Clean out Zucotti Park like Tiananmen Square was cleaned out!
Inspector Kemp: A Cultural Revolution is an ugly thing… undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun.
What no Che t-shirts? I am dissapoint.
In point of fact, citing MN college professors’ support of CCP Chairman Mao Zedong’s Great Proletariat Cultural Revolution is a VERY GOOD THING to do up when accused of being “anti-intellectual” for not digging Chomsky . . .